Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

Original poster

Miscarrying at home, what to expect?

12 replies

Dowisetrepla · 08/08/2022 16:19

Booked in for a procedure tomorrow but started spotting last night. Bleeding is picking up now and passing small stringy clots (sorry). Feeling very mild cramps.

Should I expect this to ramp up tonight or is it one of those things that could theoretically go on for days?

I should be 11 weeks but scan showed the baby stopped growing at 8 weeks, if that makes a difference.

OP posts:

1VY · 08/08/2022 16:22

I’m sorry you are in this situation, I hope you are coping ok.

Id expect heavier bleeding for a few days and bad cramps, then lighter bleeding for a week or so.

Take whatever helps - painkillers, hot water bottle, box set on the sofa as a distraction. Do you have someone around for moral support / to make dinner and any chores that need done?

Be kind to yourself, don’t be brave.

Original poster

Dowisetrepla · 08/08/2022 16:34

Thank you. I’ve got DH around to help. I guess I’m considering whether I’d rather get childcare for my DC tonight or tomorrow night but I appreciate no one on here can tell the future! I had a tfmr last year and I was over the worst in a few hours but I guess that was the medication speeding things up and this could be very different.

OP posts:

Petmurf · 08/08/2022 16:39

Yep heavier bleeding and more clots then you might feel a bigger clot.

Take it easy and rest as much as you can and be kind to yourself, this isn’t your fault ❤️

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families

Ilovechoc12 · 08/08/2022 17:10

Hope you are ok.

I don’t think you will need to worry about child care if you have your partner around. If he is able to look after the child as you might spend lots of time in the toilet. However if you want space get help with the child.

I definitely preferred natural then pills then dnc in that order. it just gets faster and bigger more cramps / back ache and then a big clot and then it kind of feels like it’s done it slows down then. Longest MC was prob 1.5 days …. But equally I’ve had it all finished in less than a day with pills. I’ve had 8 MC

Maybe the hospital will let you see how your get on and not have the op / pills if it’s started - I’d ring and check with them before going …..
I was only allowed the pills / op if it hadn’t naturally started happening ….

If you have the op - maybe test as I found a LOT of comfort in the results when chromosomes were missing ….. so it just helped me as the baby was never going to survive ….

Hope you are ok and not in too much pain

💐💐💐💐

Original poster

Dowisetrepla · 08/08/2022 18:24

Oh @Ilovechoc12 i’m so sorry you’ve been through this so many times. Thank you for sharing. Working up to a peak is what I’m expecting and I guess I’m a bit worried about the little one seeing me upset etc. it just seems so stop start at the moment and I feel like I don’t know whether I’m bracing myself for a tough few hours or settling in for the long haul.

I will ring in the morning and see what they say. Thank you xxx

OP posts:

Wildflower922 · 08/08/2022 18:30

I'm really sorry you are going through this.

Clear your schedule, stick on your comfies and have some strong pain meds to hand- you may not need them but better safe than sorry. Have plenty of home comforts and support from friends/family. I'll be thinking of you xx

happyjules · 08/08/2022 18:33

I had a miscarriage similar but a few weeks further on. My now ex decided not to come home as he was working fours away. My two small children were asleep as it was nightime. It ramped up quite quickly. I don't want to alarm you but you may well pass an identifiable small foetus. I had elected for medical management as I could not face surgery. Hugs is all I can offer.

DesignerRecliner · 08/08/2022 18:41

I'm a veteran of 4 miscarriages unfortunately but it depends how much detail you want.

If the cramps have started, at 8-11 weeks you'll likely feel the sac pass, I had to 'push' this out on 2 of my 4 miscarriages and it was about the size of an orange, very similar dates to what you've described.

Once the majority of the pregnancy has passed, the cramps should subside. If you're bleeding excessively after that has passed or if it doesn't pass, then seek medical advice I'm so sorry for your loss

DappledThings · 08/08/2022 18:49

Rest as much as you can. I was about the same timing (10 weeks, showed growth stopped around 7) and was determined to treat it as just one of those things and go out for day trips. Ended up bleeding through everything I was wearing and crying with pain in the middle of Brighton. Daft.

At one point I fainted when the blood loss was at its heaviest and DH carried me from the bathroom back to bed. So I would try to keep someone with you all the time if you can.

And do keep an eye on how the pain is. I soldiered on not accepting that the pain was actually increasing and by day 7 I was in A&E in agony. Turned out everything had got stuck and the on call gynae had to get it all. If you don't feel you've passed anything significant and pain is increasing after a few days don't hesitate to ask for help.

Original poster

Dowisetrepla · 08/08/2022 19:16

Thank you everyone - you’re all so kind and it’s so helpful to feel less alone and to hear what you’ve all been through. I’m sorry you’ve all experienced similar. Life can be so cruel. 💛

I feel prepared for pushing the sac/foetus out but really really really do not want to see anything if I can help it. I had a tfmr at 14 weeks last year with medical management (but in hospital with pills) and accidentally caught a glimpse, it’s an image that will never leave me and made everything so much sadder. I understand lots of people will feel differently of course.

OP posts:

Cynderella · 08/08/2022 19:43

I miscarried at about 12 weeks, but it was a long time ago, so details are sketchy. I remember it building over a few days, but on the day it happened, things moved pretty fast. I ate dinner and then started passing huge clots - all over by about 9pm.

There was a lot more blood than I expected, and it was certainly uncomfortable. Don't remember it being painful, but it may have been - nothing compared to a full term labour though.

I was much less upset than I expected to be - I think I'd more or less resigned myself to it by the time it happened, and I was relieved that it was over. GP tried to encourage me to go into hospital for a D&C (don't know if they still do that), but I didn't want to, and he was fine about it - just gave me a list of danger signs and I promised to go in if any of them occurred. Affects everyone differently, of course, but I am glad it happened at home, and I could sleep in my own bed that night.

drkpl · 08/08/2022 20:23

I had a MMC where the baby stopped growing at 8 wks. I passed a lot of blood and clots one evening, it was quite painful but manageable. I passed one clot that looked to me as if it could have been the foetus, it wasn’t more painful to pass than any of the clots. It was more emotionally tiring than anything. You might find having childcare for the children helps if you need your partner’s emotional support and attention to get through it. If you can, put some comfy clothes/pjs on and try to distract yourself with a film/book or however you like to entertain yourself and take it easy for a few days.

I’m sorry for your loss, op.

Flip