To find it hard work.

[CurtainAndCake]

Single parent with 70 pc custody. Lazy ex. Current partner has no children. Child is almost 5 and going to school. I'm not a natural parent but I try. I find as he's getting older I find it harder. He is mostly good but the drudgery is sooo much. I would like him to have a sibling but tbf I just don't think I could be arsed.

What do you find hard? I found the baby stage MUCH worse than 5yo. It gets easier for me but it sounds like it hasn't for you.

Sorry that sounded mean. What I mean is, tell us which the hard bits are and see if we can help (I'm a very lazy parent so I have a lot of skills!).

Just the organisation, everything is on me, the lack of time, the moaning

That does get easier. But trying to make as much as you can run without you works.

For example, we had DD's morning routine on the fridge. So she'd be getting ready and I just used to point. And she'd say, "oh yeah" and go and brush her teeth/hair/whatever.

Yeah I get that.

I'm not a natural parent BTW. Which is hard. But now DD is 11, it's pretty great.

I don't really want him to get older at the same time though.

When I told my mum I found it hard she just said 'well you didn't have to have children '

Well that's helpful!

No one knows how hard it is before they do it, I know I didn't. Does your mum at least help out?

She does help yes so I'm lucky in that way.

I never realised it was an option to remain childless

Of course it is. You can let your child know that. Or you can just have one. People always think they have to want two. You don't.

I am worried you sound depressed though. Do you think you might be?

If life was different I'd have 2 but they're not guarantees.

You do sound a bit down OP.

There is a lot of drudgery but can you find some fun moments as well? What do you and your DC like doing together - the small things that make you both laugh? Do more of those things and worry less about the chores and the house and the routines.

Sometimes it's easier to invite a DC friend around so you're not the playmate. Feed them pizza and let them play.

Don't let the ex get to you. Parent like he's not involved as much as you can. It does get easier as they grow, 5 is still very little.
Take care of yourself too.

Do you have him in any organised activities? They are good as he will be entertained and learning at the same time?

He’s young for some sports but what are your own interests? Could you start teaching him? That way you are doing something you like doing while he is being kept busy?

A lot of parenting is drudgery though many don’t admit that.

You can absolutely have one child. One child is far easier to fit into your lifestyle. Any more than one and it’s much harder and more expensive to slot into your own lifestyle.

He does classes and swimming. He's in nursery too so he's busy. I've got a cleaner recently too to help with the load.