When did you have 'the talk'

[sweeetpotato]

Not so much about sex, but more about periods, changing bodies, puberty etc...

I have an almost 9 year old (starting year 4 in Sept), and I'm wondering if it might be wise to have an age appropriate chat before going back to school.

I know although it's not that common it can happen as early as 9/10 so I want to make sure she is aware but also not worry her and freak her out!

I got DD the Usborne "what's happening to me?" book when she was about 9/10 and said if she had any questions we could discuss afterwards. We're quite open about it now, periods anyway, not the sex bit.

I'm picturing my mother sitting reading ''... and Daddy gets an erection'' in her Queen's voice on and a face like she's sucked a lemon. - you've got it!! It was a source of much amusement.

I think at 9 I would have a talk about periods and hair and body changes. I've told my (Ds) who is younger about periods as he was asking for the sweets. Bless him. I just said that when babies are in mums tummy they need a cushion and every 4 weeks if a baby isn't in there there is a very small bit of blood.

He literally went 'oh that's ok. That's a good idea for babies'
They know about body hair and stuff. I haven't talked about sex or anything. Probably wait until 10

I've just slipped it all into conversation since dd was about 4.

My experience was that PSHE at school didn't cover puberty/periods etc until many girls had already experienced them. They didn't cover periods until late Year 5, for example, and quite a few girls had already started by then. So I think it should be considered as "reinforcing information" rather than providing information.

Throughout their whole childhood, really. They kept following me to the loo when they were little, so we had chats about periods, saw me getting changed (I still do in front of them - but now they go 'eeek').
They're both boys, 11 and 13 and just this week we happened to have chats about sex and whatnot. I'm glad they trust me to ask questions.

We had this too. It's very good in that they can read it themselves and then ask any Q as and when they want to. DD1 would NOT talk about periods but I know she read this

Don’t have kids so I’m not sure if my perspective is useful or not, but…

I was an early developer…… mum got me a book. It was a pop up book…. Not sure I’d recommend a pop up book! To this day I remember finding it a little too graphic!

I also remember my first period. I thought it would be like having a wee, so I sat there waiting for it to be over.

In contrast, my sister who is 4 years younger than me had a much ‘better’ experience - The 3 of us in the car, driving somewhere and she asked question… mum answered some, so did I. As an adult she doesn’t remember finding out.

I love my mum, she is wonderful…. I can see now how anxious she was telling me, and that did mean some key details got missed, but I turned out ok… and I’m incredibly thankful she told me when she did (by the time school gave ‘the talk’ I was already a period pro!)

I think what I’m says is that however you have the talk will be fine… even if it’s not ‘perfect’. You’ll probably be more nervous (not sure if that’s the right word) than she is so maybe consider what you’ll need to feel comfortable having the chat too.

This is more adult-educational in tone but I found it interesting, it’s not what periods are, it’s why we have them & other animals don’t etc. I didn’t seek it out, it was an email recommendation thing, but it could help you if she has questions (I have 30 years period experience and found it interesting) - www.ted.com/talks/ted_ed_why_do_women_have_periods?language=en