Public proposals

[GratefulMe]

What do you think? I find them toe curling and whilst I wish the couples well, would prefer not to have to witness what should, to me, be a private moment.

I'm away on holiday atm, a small group tour. The guide has just told us we must all be ready with cameras when we visit a certain place this afternoon, as one of the men is going to propose. They seem like a lovely couple, I'll say all the right things, but it's not something I'd choose to do on my holiday. However, I accept that there has to be an element of going with the flow on these holidays and usually I'm happy to do that.

It is a very beautiful place and I'm sure will make lovely photos, but it will also be very busy and they/we will be in the way!!

I would absolutely KILL my other half if he did it in public and that is no joke. I would not even take a hit out on him I would beat him to death right there on the spot. NOBODY needs to witness another persons proposal. Good grief is nothing private anymore? Makes me totally shudder this public proposal thing.

Completely agree, really cringey to make it a big public announcement- ugh I would’ve absolutely killed DH if he’d done anything like this, I’d be so embarrassed.

I hate performance proposals or anything like that which involves a public audience.

It's so arrogant to assume that the recipient is going to say yes.

Although, from many mumsnet threads I have read on the subject of proposals, I wonder if they have already discussed marriage and the recipient of the proposal has asked for the proposer to do something like this.

Embarrassing and cringe.

If anyone publicly proposed to me (and god forbid, did one of those embarrassing rehearsed dances) they better be prepared to go viral because I would walk away from it and leave him there.

Bit rude of the guide to say you must be prepared with cameras too. Why the hell would I want to take pictures of a random couple I'm never going to see again?

The guide has possibly been asked by the person proposing so that pics could possibly be sent to them afterwards?

Really cringey, really posey and also slightly bullying in that the proposee might feel they have to say yes as it’s so public.

I don't like public proposals so DH proposed to me in our kitchen one evening after dinner. It was perfect for me. I do know plenty of women who would have found it very unromantic and been disappointed. Some like the public display, they enjoy the attention and the story to retell. I can't judge them too harshly, it's what we're brought up to expect and like.

I meant to add that I also find them ridiculously attention seeking.

Embarrassing and cringey. There's one on TT of someone trying to propose at Disney and a member of staff completely ruins it apparently. I can't even bring myself to watch it.

It’s not something I would like to happen to me but I know I’m a very private person compared to most.

It doesn’t bother me if other people choose to do it but I am aware that my congratulations are tinged with a bit of wonder about why they would want a big public show.

It wouldn’t be something I would appreciate, I hate attention seeking stuff like this. I definitely wouldn’t be told I had to take photos of a random couple getting engaged, that’s really weird. You have said you’re in a beautiful place on holiday, I’d be enjoying the surroundings and just walk away when the proposal was happening.

Yes, either it's all just for show because the answer is already known, or what a horrible position to be put in if you'd like to say no.

Anyway, she seemed genuinely surprised and thrilled and others obliged with the photos.

DH knew from prior conversations that I wouldn't have liked something public and showy so he proposed in private and it was lovely.

That said, we were at the Trevi fountain a few weeks ago (at the crack of dawn so far fewer people around than normal) when someone proposed and I thought that was nice. A beautiful setting, no big fuss. The few people around them who noticed cheered when she said yes, I suspect they'd have ignored it if she hadn't.

They make me cringe so hard. On my last holiday a guy proposed after being selected with his partner to take part in the games with the holiday reps. He proposed and then had 60 seconds to do as many sex positions as possible to win a jug of cocktails. Imagine that being your story!

Then the guide should be the one taking it.

Was it a Club 18-30 holiday?

I'm with you OP!

DH proposed in public in that it was a public place, but it was so subtle that nobody noticed. I would have wanted the world to swallow me up otherwise.

So last decade!!

I'm going to come on to get flamed.... because my DH proposed to me in a "public place"...

.. he actually did it at work.

We met at work and he came in last thing on a Friday and I didn't have a clue. He just said "A little and I met at work so I thought it would be appropriate to do this at work..." and then got the ring out...

I didn't have a clue he was doing it and it was a complete surprise.

I'm really sorry - I didn't find it "cringe" or want the ground to swallow me up or anything - I don't think I'd have asked for him to do it that way but I have no regrets.

We got a lot of cheers and claps when he did it from our colleagues.... but maybe they were all thinking "OMG what a pair of muppetts"...!

@alittlequinnie had you already discussed marriage at all with your DP first?

I think a lot of what I struggle with about these is the 'pressure' to say yes / respond in a certain way because everyone's watching – especially people you then have to see every day at work.

If you hadn't been sure about wanting to marry him (which it sounds like you were), would you have felt comfortable saying no?

Hi there - yes - it was pretty clear for years that I wanted to marry my then boyfriend so he would have been confident!

I'm no shrinking violet and would have said no if I hadn't have wanted to marry - but you're right - it would have been awful to come into work the next day.....

Later on he told me that he had been planning on proposing to me at Runnymead (apparently they signed the magna carta there?) so he obviously had somewhere in mind that wasn't so private no matter what.

I told my partner from the beginning of our relationship I'd say no to any public proposal! To each their own but would be my worst nightmare.