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Holidays make me feel depressed
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losenotloose · 06/08/2022 12:50

Is it just me? I have low self esteem anyway but holidays really bring it out. I wish I could just enjoy myself but I end up feeling fat, ugly, generally not good enough. Then when I get home, I have the blues. Like a hangover from the holiday.

It actually makes me worry about going away.

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Playplayaway · 06/08/2022 13:21

Have you ever had any counselling for your self esteem? It can really help. Also ther are a ton of books that can help. Are you going on holidays that you actually enjoy or are they tailored more to your partner/dc?

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losenotloose · 06/08/2022 13:28

No I haven't. I had CBT for anxiety but I didn't find it helpful as it was quite superficial.

This last holiday was to my husband's home country so a bit difficult, I don't speak the language and it was a lot of time spent with family (who are lovely). I just look around me and feel inferior.

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Afonavon · 06/08/2022 13:56

I feel the same, but I have never heard of anyone else feeling like this though. I love time off work, but hate going away from home type of holiday. Miserable, uncomfortable (as I am fat), mentally exhausting , worried about the house while I am away. I need a holiday after the holiday! I would never go away if it wasn’t for my family wanting ‘proper’ holidays.

I see holidays as a sacrifice I make for my loved ones.

I probably am autistic and have anxiety from as long as I can remember though, which most probably are the causes of my aversion to holidays.

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losenotloose · 06/08/2022 15:50

Sorry to hear you feel the same, Afonavon.

I'm also quite an anxious person in general.

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losenotloose · 06/08/2022 16:40

Anyone else?!

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partyprop · 06/08/2022 16:48

Yep same. It's a shame as I want to enjoy them but I do spend the time away feeling very inadequate. I can see that the change of scene does do me some good, so although I'm tired and a bit strained post holiday I also feel a bit better for it in the longer term.

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PandaOrLion · 06/08/2022 17:02

I remember that kind of feeling but from my early twenties. I had a lot of therapy and realised I was just wasting time projecting what other people were thinking about me and assuming I could mind-read!

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losenotloose · 06/08/2022 18:46

PandaOrLion what kind of therapy did you have?

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losenotloose · 06/08/2022 18:46

PandaOrLion

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PandaOrLion · 06/08/2022 19:23

Intergrative.

but it has to be with the right therapist and not just a short term thing

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losenotloose · 07/08/2022 09:56

Thank you, I'll look into it.

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OldWivesTale · 07/08/2022 10:11

I think if you're autistic then it's more normal not to enjoy holidays; you probably don't like the change in routine apart from anything else. But don't see this as a.problem that you need to fix. Just accept that you don't like holidays and that's OK. I like the idea of holidays but when it comes down to it, I find them a lot of hassle. I hate packing and thinking what needs to be taken (worse when the kids are young and you're packing for everyone!) Holidays are actually quite stressful. Just accept that you don't like them and then maybe you won't feel disappointed by them.

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TheScenicWay · 07/08/2022 10:16

Yeah I always regret not losing the weight to look all lovely in summery clothes but there's always next time.
Would you genuinely feel happier if you lost weight? If so, explore that and see what you can do emotionally, mentally and physically.

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losenotloose · 07/08/2022 13:39

I'm not actually overweight, but I think I suffer with some kind of dysmorphia, always have. I remember feeling fat at 7! I'm 5ft6 and weigh 10st4. I just want to not care....

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