My best friend's new boyfriend is taking the piss out of my therapist.

[BarbaraOrange]

What do I do? I have a brilliant therapist who I'm getting along well with and my friend knows nothing about it. Best friend hooked up with this new man about 6 weeks ago. I chat with my friend daily so I hear a lot about this new man. Currently he's been royally slagging off his ex & lots of details of their sex life and things they've done together have filtered through to me. Then the penny dropped, his ex is my therapist. I won't explain too much as it's outing but I'm definitely not wrong. What do I do about this? I think the guy's a twat & I don't think his fling with my friend will last forever, but in the meantime? I hate hearing all this stuff about my therapist. I don't want to out myself & tell my friend so I have no choice but to suck it up?

Righto

See her less and change the subject when you can? Maybe a brief comment - 'lovely' 'sounds a real prince' after she's told you some of this stuff. Tbh she's probably a bit uncomfortable with it herself, aren't most women a bit uneasy when their partner slags off exes? So she'll probably overreact to your comments and storm off. But with any luck she'll be back once she's got rid of him.

I think you need to change therapists, to be honest.

Just tell your friend it's boring to hear about her boyfriends ex... isn't she fed up of his obsession too?

Yeah, just say you don't want to hear about her boyfriend's ex and their sexlife, it's really tacky.

And your friend should consider that this is how he boyfriend will talk about her when they've finished...

You recognised your therapist from tales of your best friends new boyfriend's sex life with his ex?
Sure you did.

Hang on. So you and your friend are A and B. B is dating C who used to go out with D, who is your therapist? And B is relaying to you what C says about D?

Say to your friend "why are you telling me this?". Sounds like way to much boring oversharing.

If the ex wasn't your therapist, would you want to be hearing about his sexual adventures with her?

I'd tell your friend it's awful that he talks about a woman like this, especially one he clearly liked at some point, because he had sex with her more than once. You could add - like he us with you now, or leave it hanging instead.

But really why is she badmouthing his ex?

Tell her you don't want to hear it.

So your therapist just happened to tell you all about her private life.
Sure 😂

No - the therapists ex is telling OP’s friend about the therapists private life.

I live in a small place and stuff like this happens all the time … I can well believe it!

How does op recognise the therapist from these lurid descriptions? 🤪

@BigCheeseSandwich I know, hence my post..... because unless her therapist has told her all about her private life, which I find extremely difficult to believe, then she would have nothing to compare her friends blokes description to.
So no, I'm still only giving the op 1/10 for effort.

Absolutely, no therapist shares personal information with clients.

I suppose the friend’s boyfriend could have said “my ex Alice, who is a therapist and works in an office on such-and-such a street, was really crap in bed” and she’s worked it out by the first bit of that description? Maybe?

any rate: Just tell the friend that it’s weird her boyfriend wants to moan about his ex to her, and it’s even weirder she wants to relate all this to you, so please stop it.

God, I never considered that...
Are you serious?? 🤣

Is anyone ever serious here?