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Childcare during emergencies

23 replies

MyGiddyAunt1 · 06/08/2022 08:32

What happens if I have to go to the A&E and no one to leave my 8 year old with? I have no one I can call for help…if say my husband is travelling and I need the A&E who cares for my daughter until he gets back?

OP posts:
MyGiddyAunt1 · 06/08/2022 08:33

Posted too quick- will I have to let the hospital know if this if/when I make a call to the A&E? Surely if I’m unconscious etc they wouldn’t have time to take care of an 8 year old- will the council step in then?

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 06/08/2022 08:33

Your 8yr old goes with you

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 06/08/2022 08:34

Huh- you’re unconscious but calling 999?

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welshweasel · 06/08/2022 08:34

Child would come with you then hospital would call social services to arrange emergency care.

TellMeImNotWrong · 06/08/2022 09:03

I would, and have, take any one of DD's classmates in this situation. You ask a neighbour, or call DC's friends. If you genuinely think you have no one, then you need to start cultivating some acquaintances quickly, do a couple of favours for other school mums, help a neighbour out.

theillustratedmummy · 06/08/2022 09:09

8 year old would go with you. Then if you couldn't care for them or they couldn't stay ss would try find one of your friends and family and would be asking your dh to come home obviously. If no friends or family or dh available they would go into emergency care. They will likely be sat around in the hospital or office for a very long time while all this is arranged as its not a quick process.

DenholmElliot1 · 06/08/2022 09:14

You need to make friends with a neighbour or a school mum so that you can call on them in the event of an emergency. Yes, even if you suffer from social anxiety you still have to do this. The worst case scenario is that your dc would be taken into temporary foster care if you are unconscious and she cannot stay with you.

DenholmElliot1 · 06/08/2022 09:16

Have you got a medical condition that makes this scenario likely? If so, you do need to put a plan in place. Perhaps it's not do-able for your dh to have a job that involves travelling.

CMOTDibbler · 06/08/2022 09:19

Is everything OK? Has something happened to make you ask so specifically?

INeedNewShoes · 06/08/2022 09:23

If this is something you might need imminently, do you have anyone at all nearby who you know well enough to ask? If not, it'll be a social services thing.

If it's a more general wondering, start building a network now. I'm a single parent so it's a bit different but I see it as one of my parenting responsibilities to have a network of people around us who DD knows and who would be happy to help us in this sort of scenario.

I recently had to go to hospital plus various appointments afterwards and friends, relatives and neighbours have been happy to look after DD.

I've also made clear to our neighbours with kids that if they ever need childcare in an emergency to ask me.

LionessesRules · 06/08/2022 09:25

I bodge jobbed it.
So, rang nursery, and got them to collect as a one off (they didn't usually collect that day). Then rang friend, and got them to collect from nursery with their child. Then rang Mum, and got her to drive up the M1 (thankfully she had a front door key). Gave her really dodgy description of where DS was (X road, about 20 houses along, there will be a red car in the drive....), and she looked after him overnight until I got out if hospital with other DS.

I've also done it the other way - answered phone at 6am, asking if I could have child for breakfast and take to school.

Is there really noone's number in your phone who would help out in an emergancy? A mum of your daughters friends? Most people will help where they can in a proper emergency. Otherwise, she goes with you, and social services will sort it if you can't.

TeenDivided · 06/08/2022 09:26

They would end up in emergency foster care.

This is why people need to make the effort to have at least some social contacts, e.g. the parents of DC's best friends. I think most people would have a friends DC for a few nights in an emergency.

Tiani4 · 06/08/2022 09:28

I'm a lone parent of 3 DCs

I used to take my other DCs with me to A&E if it was something like broken foot or arm

If it was more serious I'd ask my neighbours to take my other DCs

Obviously in covid times you can't take other DCs with you when I was admitted for covid to hospital my older DC 17 1/2 looked after 15 year old and the youngest went to a friends house.

I always had contingency plans
If anything happened to me each would go to their friends house and stay over - so no one had all 3. As it was my older ones wanted to stay home and refused to go anywhere even when my friends/ and their friends mums turned up to take them!!

NerrSnerr · 06/08/2022 09:55

We have two children, I have a husband who is often abroad and no family who can help. We have made some local friends, parents of other children etc. if we needed them that's who'd we call.

We've only used them once and that's when I was heavily pregnant with child 2 and had to be admitted, someone came around to stay with the eldest who was in bed while my husband drove me to hospital.

Goldbar · 06/08/2022 09:57

Ask a neighbour, friend or DC's friends' parents.

Do you have your neighbours' contact details or are you on the class whatsapp group (if there is one)?

I have thought about this scenario because my DH works an hour away and travels for work and I have had some pregnancy complications which could become serious and require urgent hospital treatment. Grandparents are all 3+ hours drive away. No really close friends who live nearby (two have recently moved).

In an emergency situation, I would ask my neighbours first if one of them could come and stay with DC until my DH or family could get back. If they were not available, I would ask one or two nursery mums who we frequently do playdates with and, if desperate, I would put out a begging message on the nursery parents' whatsapp group asking for help.

Earlymenopausesucks · 06/08/2022 10:04

MyGiddyAunt1 · 06/08/2022 08:33

Posted too quick- will I have to let the hospital know if this if/when I make a call to the A&E? Surely if I’m unconscious etc they wouldn’t have time to take care of an 8 year old- will the council step in then?

Are you ok @MyGiddyAunt1 ?

MarmiteCoriander · 06/08/2022 10:16

Years ago I worked in A&E and this scenario occurred. Might get done differently now though. No relatives or friends to take the child.

The child was admitted to the childrens ward as a 'social case' and stayed there until social services could find emergency foster care.

UpdateStoleMyProfile · 06/08/2022 10:59

I’m a foster carer. It’s not that unusual. If there were no one on hand at all when the paranedics came to take you then the police or social services would be called (ideally SS but if no time and you needed moving instantly the police would be involved and would care for your child until Social Services arrived.

m they would take steps to contact next of kin- your child’s father, any other contacts your child could give them. But if they couldn’t reach anyone your child would come to me. Ideally with a bag of bits from home, but not always.

I would look after them until family could be contacted or you were discharged. Sometimes that’s just a few hours - for eg a single parent admitted at midnight conscious in the morning and able to give contact details for the other parent. Sometimes that’s a few weeks - but if it were a longer hospital admission SS would definitely be looking for alternative family members to do the care, your child would just stay with me until it was sorted.

I would make sure your child was clean, safe, fed, comforted as much as they could be. If school age, I would take them to their usual school in the morning, and staff there would be involved along with SS in trying to track down a safe relative or friend. I’d be asking the teacher about any particular things I’d need to know about the child, assuming the only info I had was name address and school placement.

It’s really not an uncommon scenario. But once it had happened once, SS would encourage you strongly to find a decent back up option yourself - they should be able to help with that if you had a condition where it was a recurrent issue. But if you have a partner working away they would expect your partner to down tools and be the parent. Appreciate that’s not always possible - military service overseas for eg. But they would certainly expect them to be on the next plane home for any other working type thing.

MyGiddyAunt1 · 06/08/2022 23:14

@UpdateStoleMyProfile thank you! That’s really helpful.

for context- I’m not in need of support now- it’s just that I’m having some random thoughts and this came to mind…not having anyone to call upon is a concern of mine..

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MuffinMcLayLikeABundleOfHay · 06/08/2022 23:21

I lived abroad when my dc were little, somewhere I didn't know anyone at all so making friends was an absolute priority for me because of this scenario.

I insisted that their school had the phone numbers of my family in the UK.

I actually ended up having the children of a friend for three days and nights in an emergency situation.

BiscoffSundae · 06/08/2022 23:24

What do you think lone parents do? I’m on my own with 4 (no ex) if I go to hospital they come with me

DenholmElliot1 · 06/08/2022 23:29

MyGiddyAunt1 · 06/08/2022 23:14

@UpdateStoleMyProfile thank you! That’s really helpful.

for context- I’m not in need of support now- it’s just that I’m having some random thoughts and this came to mind…not having anyone to call upon is a concern of mine..

It's really good that you're thinking about this in advance. Start thinking about how you're going to manage that situation should it ever arise. You'll feel better and more confident knowing you're prepared.

MyGiddyAunt1 · 07/08/2022 12:04

@DenholmElliot1 thank you- that’s exactly my intention. I’ve trained my daughter in remembering our address, make phone calls by opening the phone using my passcode etc. but incase my husband is travelling for work and I need to go into hospital needed to know how to access support in the interim.

i am on the schools WhatsApp so in the absolute worst case scenario could put a request for help

for all the responses asking, why don’t you have friends, why can’t you make friends, don’t you know how social services etc work here?

im not born in this country- so there are some gaps in my knowledge as to how certain services work. Making friends is NOT easy in this country- acquaintances yes, ‘how was your weekend’ ‘where are you going on holiday?’ Etc is fine but when you try to cross that boundary then you are not really welcome. It takes a whole lot of effort to convince and get people to open up… when you are juggling full time jobs, childcare and all aspects if life with no support it becomes a challenge- chicken and egg I know…I’ll have to think of ways to make some connections

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