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What to do about Mum?

3 replies

Diversion · 05/08/2022 23:47

Mum has had a form of cancer for several years, very nearly lost her 5 years after diagnosis with major hemorrhages and she spent many weeks in critical care after she underwent a major operation which lasted hours. They warned us that she would not make it after 5 resuscitations, but she did. She is a very strong woman, stubborn, extremely private and opinionated. She has had a few relapses since and continues to tolerate treatment so far but refuses to report any new symptoms, just as she refused to see anyone when the initial symptoms presented. Her bloods are currently showing some abnormalities and she was asked to present at A & E tonight for some treatment. She went, nobody seemed to know what was what and she was sent home with instructions to phone another hospital tomorrow. I have insisted that she speak to her consultant on Monday to ask for advice but she is refusing and insists that she knows what is what and that the Doctors know best. The doctors did not scan her for months and I insisted that she request a scan, which she did not do due to new symptoms, only to find out a few weeks later that she had relapsed. I have begged her tonight to phone her consultant on Monday and she just responded that she will see what they say tomorrow. Do I just need to accept that she will do whatever she decides and respect her opinion that the Doctors know best or continue to badger/nag/encourage her to speak to someone because things are not as they should be.

OP posts:
birdling · 06/08/2022 07:50

It must be very sad and frustrating for you.
I'm not sure that there is anything much you can do, except encourage her and be there.
It's her choice, no matter how much you disagree with it.

KangarooKenny · 06/08/2022 07:54

It’s her choice, perhaps she’s fed up with all the medical procedures and just wants to accept her fate. As long as she has capacity it’s her choice.

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 06/08/2022 08:07

Do I just need to accept that she will do whatever she decides and respect her opinion

yes, yes you do. It sounds to me like she’s just had enough.

ultimately, it’s not your medical care and not your decision, hard as that is.

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