Hi
I am been meaning to post this for a while but haven't gotten around to it. Its a post about surviving reflux. Its long but hope it has something in it that might help a first time mum struggling with reflux.
I had my first baby in August 2020. He was the perfect baby for two full weeks. And then he wasnt. He wouldnt sleep for longer than 20 or 30 mins during the day and he cried all the time he was awake. Literally all the time. Feeding was a nitemare he cried and fought the whole time. He seemed very uncomfortable, clawing at me and arching his back. I kept ringing the health visitor. It was wind she said it would settle. It didnt. I rang again. Feeding issues were common with babies, it will get better. I spoke to her about the fact the didnt sleep much at all during the day and cried til he was horse. Babies cry she said. Did I have postnatal depression she queried. This was during lockdown, we werent allowed to have anyone to the house, I didnt know whether I was just an incompetent mother, failing to look after my baby or whether there was something wrong with him that was being overlooked. One day I noticed lots of spit up around his mouth. I discussed it with my sister over the phone. She thought it might be reflux. It was the weekend I got through a doctor on call who looked about 12, saw my baby and his vomit coated mouth and said it was thrush and gave me thrush medication. (It wasnt thrush).
Anyways to speed this story up, it basically took about 6weeks and full blown vomiting to develop before my HV or my GP would consider it was reflux related.
These were the signs of reflux with my baby:
- symptoms set in at two weeks. baby stopped sleeping during day but continued to sleep at night (apparently some babies are in a deep sleep at night for the first 13 ish weeks so can are less disturbed by reflux at night).
- baby fussed and fought at every feed, very uncomfortable, arms flailing, back arching, stopping and starting, wriggling around almost like he was having a fit
- baby HATED lying on his back - the pram - forget it !!! No chance of getting out on a walk went clean beserk if put into the pram
- baby HATED the car - everyone said if hes not sleeping put him into the car - it will work. My god he hated the car! No matter who long I drove it only seemed to make him worse . I thought I had the hardest most difficult baby in the entire universe. Why he is so upset all the time? Why wont he sleep? Why does he hate the car? Basically it took me months to find out that car seats put babies legs in a certain position that causes more pressure on their tummies and it makes reflux worse. Lying down (in the pram) also makes it more likely for reflux to occur. Wish I had knew these things. The reason my poor baby was so unhappy was that he was in pain.
- Unless he was being upright at all times, my baby was crying.
- Lots of little small spits, constantly. (people told me this was normal so I didnt realise it was reflux, feel stupid now looking back)
Treatment
- As my baby was luckily gaining weight doctors werent massively concerned about reflux. I was prescribed gaviscon and carobel, feed thickeners that aim to prevent the milk from coming back up. Didnt really help for us.
- As my baby got older his reflux got worse and more obvious (apparently it can peak at 4 or 5 months). Around two to three months old at one point he was being sick thirty times a day. Days were a blur of feeding, vomiting, crying and washing. I mean non stop. It would have been common for it to be 5 or 6pm when my husband finished work before I had time to brush my teeth. One day I broke down to my a different lady GP on the phone and she prescribed anti acids for my baby - omezpraole or something like that (probably spelt it wrong). These were a game changer !!!! within two weeks I had a much improved baby (however I think they are primarly adult medications which I think leads to a reluctance in prescribing them, which I do understand). There was still vomiting but my little guy didnt seem so angry all the time. It was such a relief.
- Over the winter my LO developed severe eczema and the lady doctor suggested a milk allergy ( I had previously suggest this to my other doctor who said as baby was gaining milk it wasnt a milk allergy and he wouldnt prescribe specialist milk).
- Within about a week on the non dairy milk the vomit episodes reduced from about thirty times a day to about 10 times a day. This gradually reduced as baby got older.
- Baby still suffered reflux and vomiting until he was around 1 year old but after we got the anti acid and specialist milk he was a different baby - still being sick but not crying not stop anymore.
Anyways I wanted to say to anyone in the same position - trust your instinct! if you think there is something wrong there probably definitely be vocal! change doctor if you can if they arent listening - i wish I had earlier.
Also reflux is awful, for mum and for baby. People says oh its really common etc etc. But for a baby with severe reflux it can be really really really traumatic for the whole family. Its ok to not be ok. BUT please remember this it will get easier.
Fast forward two years I have the most wonderful happy boy who is an absolute pleasure! he now loves the car ironically (not the buggy he thinks hes not too big for it!) Hes a great eater now , we did the milk ladder with no issues. He is the light of my life. So for anyone with a reflux baby thinking how to cope please remember it will get easier. Its cliched but it will.
Disclaimer! Also finally as you can probably tell Im not a medical expert I'm only telling this as my personal story I dont medically know the best options on how to diagnose or treat reflux I'm just sharing my this as my experience as a mamma not an expert!!