Aibu

[Briar250]

I’m almost 37 weeks pregnant and due a c section in a matter of days.

I have since changed what I’m going to call the baby. Naively I told family what I was going to call baby, and was bombard with suggestions as alternatives. I changed the name to something amenable to all. It was a name I liked.

My mother began to buy loads of personalised materials and items which I was extremely grateful for, and had not expected.

Since having a break away, I have decided to use the name I love, not like. I also have had baby brain getting everything ready (single parent to be and by choice). I didn’t have the heart to tell my mum that I had changed the name.

So my brother offered to tell her.

well basically, ww3 has erupted and she has said she wants nothing more to do with me through very brutal and harsh telephone conversations and nasty texts (from her).

I apologised to her for her spending so much, that wasn’t even asked in the first place.

she refuses to accept the apology.

I really really wish I had Not told them and kept it to myself, But I am really upset with her, meant to be birth partner and lm anxious anyway about the birth.

Im just fed up of her making this out to be done on purpose. Surely if I have shared, she should feel flattered.

my own fault I know.

im not budging on the name though.

im not sure how to handle this as she is the most cantankerous woman on the planet and I always end up giving in. I feel tired.

Gosh no, you’ve done nothing wrong. Send a heartfelt apology (because I’m sure you are sorry that she’s spent so much wasted money even if it wasn’t your fault), mention that you hope she’ll still be your birth partner, and then back off and give her space. Nothing more needs to be said from your end. Can you get a back up birthing partner? She’ll have forgotten everything when the baby is here.

Maybe, use the liked-but-not-loved name as a middle-name? Whatever, use all the personalised stuff anyway - luckily babies can't read and they use stuff for so little time before they grow out of it.

Give your Mum a proper nice apology, listening to her feelings, and s nice bunch of flowers. You're not being unreasonable at all, but now isn't the time to be falling out with your vital support network.

Hopefully this'll all become a funny anecdote in the years to come. When they're older, you can show your DC pictures of themselves as a baby in an outfit with the wrong name, and tell them the story - they'll think it's hilarious.

It's also make it clear that you do still appreciate all the named stuff and would love to still use it. It really doesn't matter if Sienna has a blanket on saying Phoebe

All sorted now 🥰

🥰🥰🥰😍

Thanks all x