Am I going to get in difficulty at work with this?

[haioop]

A couple of years ago a colleague and I were close friends (since drifted apart) and she used to complain a lot about her manager. She was a few years my senior. She mentioned Sexist allegations against her manager etc to which I responded in texts agreeing that it was terrible, how could he etc etc. He was awful and what a sexist bastard. I don’t remember specifically what was said but it was along these lines.

Anyway she’s since brought a grievance and told me two weeks ago that she’s going to send these texts as part of her evidence that stuff happened and that another woman agreed with her that it was wrong.

We’ve not been friends for a while now as I distanced myself from her a couple of years back as I thought she was quite dramatic and odd.

I’m really worried!

Could you get her to anonymise your texts?

Your texts shouldn't be of much interest to the investigation as you didn't actually witness anything. They may be more interested in HER texts to you, as they form a record of the events at the time they were happening.

Who is actually investigating the claims? Hopefully it should be someone neutral ie not the manager in question.

Yeah it’s someone neutral not the manager. She is crazy though and can’t be trusted. I feel like an idiot for saying anything but felt I had to agree with her at the time.

This happened to me soon after starting a new job, a colleague latched onto me to start airing her grievances about our manager, possibly a bit naively I did agree the manager was a bit of an arse etc (he was). She left and put in a claim for unfair dismissal which she didn't win. Although I hadn't texted anything she had recorded private conversations and meetings and transcribed them. Senior management called me in to ask if I had said what she said I had said, which I agreed I had, that was the end of it as far as I was concerned. Manager left soon afterward too.

If she’s using it as evidence in a grievance, the manager has the right to know who the texts are from.

I’d tell her you don’t want them used.

Though it sounds like she’s unlikely to respect your wishes.

@EspeciallyDeIighted thanks, that’s what’s happened here basically.

@SchoolTie strangely she hasn’t named me in the grievance itself as a witness, I know other colleagues who had to go in for a meeting, I haven’t. But now she’s saying she will throw everything at the situation and my messages to her show want happened on the day and that i also agreed he was sexist. I was probably very emphatic about this to try and support her but I don’t remember exactly what I said.

Urgh so stressed