Are health visitors always so….hands off?

[Suprima]

I had my second HV appointment today, which was very similar then first.

Baby was weighed but I expected her to be checked all over. They also haven’t been interested in seeing where she slept or the state of the house.

I could have had her sleeping in a cot in another room, full of bumpers + soft toys and she would have been none the wiser.

Are they

Thanks for your post. My feeling was that by weighing them you’d get a good look. I sort of assumed if you had suspicions re the home and sleeping environment you might ask to look where baby is sleeping?

My HV did ask to see where the baby sleeps. Why is this such an appalling suggestion by the op?

Maybe my house seemed suspicious ...

Mine did a pre birth home visit at 36 (?) weeks to do just that. Checked where baby would sleep. Standard in the trust.

Before my first I had a community midwife and student midwife carry out a very detailed examination of my home. There were many recommendations that where never implemented but it did put the fear in me of they many, many possible accidents that could happen.

I don’t know why people are being so rude, OP!
My LO is 7.5 months old, HV only came to the house for the first 5 weeks and then as she was happy with his weight we’ve just seen her before his vaccinations which include weighing, measuring etc, development and asking if there are any concerns or questions, we also had a 6 month check where she came to the house to talk about weaning, development and the usual weighing etc.
She’s never checked where he has slept, just asked me, but one of my friends who has a baby the same age had hers look around her house.
Any health concerns such as rashes, temperature, viruses I’ve contacted the GP.
Hope that helps x

My experience of HVs has been excellent but I suspect thats because of the circumstances around my DD's birth (2021). She had sepsis and was in NICU for two weeks. We had loads of feeding issues and she dropped below 0.4th centile and was really not thriving. I also had awful PND i suspect due to the horrible circumstances around nearly losing DD.

The HV came weekly until DD was 12weeks - helped us get a referral to the infant feeding team, helped me self referral for some CBT, answered all my absolutely anxiety driven questions over every tiny change in DD. Between 12weeks and 12months, she slowly increased time between visits until it's now every couple of months. She's helped me get a referral to physio for an initial assessment as DD is potentially hypermobile and helped us with some very gentle sleep training (pick up put down so not cry it out) when DD went through a 2month period of hourly wake ups overnight. DD was slow on some of her milestones and she was been a great source of reassurance around her physical development.

I honestly cannot thank her enough. I know my experience is atypical and certainly i am the only one in my NCT group who has had this experience but i think that if HVs are prioritising their time and experience for circumstances like ours, then i am very grateful indeed.

Had a mix of HV and midwife visits in the first weeks so can’t remember which was which, but for one they checked my tear stitches and got a good look at the sleeping space then. When we were in the living room for visits the Moses basket was there so they could see sleeping arrangements I suppose. I did get asked about sleeping, how feeding was, (was a dec baby) was I looking forward to Christmas etc? I assume they got a lot out of those answers, i.e she looked worried at my lack of Christmas enthusiasm until my dh was just like, this is her personality!

They're just there to lecture you on birth control
And breastfeeding

@ShirleyPhallus how is it rude ? The op said the HV should be supporting her to keep her baby healthy and safe but failed in her duty. Therefore early help would be a useful resource.

Yeah you didn’t say this out of concern though did you: “Are you really incapable of keeping your own baby healthy and safe op?”

They should check , some babies could be abused or neglected and the HV is the only contact they get. My 3rd babies HV didn't even turn up so baby could be dead in a cot for all they knew. They are supposed to help not just tick a box and ignore mums

@ShirleyPhallus my first baby I struggled, then the HV turned up and said , las time I put you down as a cause for concern....my Mum was there at this point and was so mad because I did struggle but if she saw that why did she not try and help me, stop me from potentially failing . But she did nothing! They also did the Jabs and yelled at me to get out the room if I can't restrain my baby.
HV no 2 was amazing though. Can't praise her enough.
HV 3 was pathetic, turned up once, wrote a few notes aweful, all new mums should get better help , I was ok as my 3rd but not acceptable whatsoever

They look at the baby's body when they weigh them, they don't do a health check like a doctor who checks their heartbeat, hips, eyes etc because that's not their job - usually there's a 6 week doctors check-up for this in my experience.

I think they can usually get an idea of how well you're coping based on your demeanor, the way you interact with the baby, how you answer their questions, what they can see in the living room etc. But I have heard of them asking to see bedrooms. Maybe it depends on the region or the individual, or maybe they do it if they need a bit more details to make their judgements.

It varies massively by area. I don't think I even had a second HV appointment when my first was a newborn. I had one at 10 days old... Maybe there was a second a few weeks later. With my second she was born during COVID and hasn't seen a health visitor face to face in her whole life (2.5 in September). We had one zoom call when she was about 15 months which she slept through

I had my 3rd ds 11weeks ago and hv never asked to check where my baby was sleeping. My ds2 is nearly 3(born just before Covid) hv never asked to check then either

@LilacPoppy

Your first post reads: Are you really incapable of keeping your own baby healthy and safe op? Maybe you should refer yourself to early help.

Give over with the faux innocence and "I was being helpful and supportive" act. You were sticking the boot in because you judged OP - you, along with other posters too - to be PFB. It's not PFB to expect engagement, support and safeguarding from possibly the only HCP you and your baby will see from 6 weeks, barring 2 x 3 minute vax appointments at 12 and 16 weeks of course.

Do you not remember the uncertainty and nervousness of a new bàby? Health visitors are sold to new mums as a professional support system to build an ongoing professional relationship, a front line service who are "only a phone call away" - so OP is not unreasonable to ask if she's missed something with that messaging compared to the hands off approach of her HV

@BottlingBurpsForGrandma I was asking if she was incapable yes because she implied she needed support. Early help will provide that.

I think the level of engagement varies depending on where you live (and covid recently). Ds is 2.5 and I've never even met our health visitor. There was a 10 minute phone call at 5 months and a 15 minute video call at 16 months, certainly nothing asked about the home or sleeping arrangements.

Ds just turned three: we got a pre birth visit which felt pretty rigorous - cosleeping, feeding, questions but also a fair bit about our support: my husband is younger than me and American so I think she picked that up quickly. We also got told about some Grants and stuff, possibly as a way to check our income. But she didn't look round the house.

The visits after birth were fine: my mun got diagnosed with leukemia before the six week check so she had a really good chat with us.

Then covid hit and he didn't see anyone until my DD had her checks. We'd moves by then and the team did do a vague 2.5 year check on him while they were they. DDS recent check was on a zoom call though!

I had difficult births so the MWs and HVs did some home visits. The MWs had the opportunity to see my bedroom when they checked my various collections of stitches.

My mobility was still heavily compromised by SPD after DS2's birth and getting out independently by walking/ driving wasn't viable for at least a month. I remember the HVs coming to see DS2 to weigh and flagging up DS1's speech. They then returned to do an initial assessment, and while he wasn't sufficiently behind to need SALT at that point, it was on the radar and started the papertrail that 7 years later resulted in an ASD diagnosis.

If you're weighing a baby assessed as a low risk background and all those little observations are well, as are the public areas of the home, the benefits of scruitinising further are low compared to the potential issues caused by a more rigourous/ intrusive approach.