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Original poster

Teenage sleepover dramas

27 replies

millytint44 · 02/08/2022 19:11

Ok so it's my DDs 14th birthday today and she wanted to invite 4 friends for a sleepover. Dominos pizza, too many sweets that kind of thing. Anyway they're here essentially less than an hour and she comes down crying her eyes out that they're going through her drawers. I literally don't know what to do! I went up and told them to come down to the lounge and that it wasn't very kind but now the atmosphere is heavy. DD is texting me she hates the bitches. Help!!!

OP posts:
alnawire · 02/08/2022 19:15

It's 7pm just send them home. Your DD doesn't have to be bullied in her own home by a group of girls.

WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe · 02/08/2022 19:16

Call time on it and send them home. It’s early enough to get them home without inconveniencing other parents but so early that keeping them overnight will make for a LONG night ahead.

CheshGirl · 02/08/2022 19:19

Without making this too much of a big deal.
This is one of those situations where you need to show up for your daughter.
She is telling you she is unhappy with the situation.
It's your responsibility as her parent to deal with it.

GoodVibesHere · 02/08/2022 19:20

Yeh I think I'd tell them the party is ending early. I have two teen DDs and we've had tears and arguing at parties before now. Nightmare!

Original poster
millytint44 · 02/08/2022 19:38

I've said to her that I will take them all home but she's saying it's OK now. I am not sure if it's bullying or hi jinx, I know there is a fine line. She is so desperate to fit in with them, and I know she deserves better but it is difficult if not impossible to choose your child's friends isn't it?

OP posts:
Bobbybobbins · 02/08/2022 19:40

You are doing the right thing Op - your DD knows that you are there for her and you can step in if things seem to be going downhill again.

Original poster
millytint44 · 02/08/2022 19:55

It's so hard isn't it, knowing when to intervene, when to support? Where's the mum rule book when you need it??!!

Teenage sleepover dramas
OP posts:
Afterfire · 02/08/2022 20:08

Why on earth were they going through her drawers?? That sounds incredibly weird!

I think you have to be led by her and if she’s now saying things are okay I would go with that as if you make a thing of cancelling it now it could make things hard for her but tomorrow I think you need a good chat with her about what on earth was / is going on.

alnawire · 02/08/2022 20:26

millytint44 · 02/08/2022 19:38

I've said to her that I will take them all home but she's saying it's OK now. I am not sure if it's bullying or hi jinx, I know there is a fine line. She is so desperate to fit in with them, and I know she deserves better but it is difficult if not impossible to choose your child's friends isn't it?

4 against 1?

Doing shit she doesn't want them to and making her cry? I don't think it matters what you call it, having 4 girls invade another's space is not ok. It might be going fine now but it's along time until tomorrow and the potential for this to go wrong is huge. They have already turned on her once. The fact that she is desperate to fit in only means she is less likely to stand up for herself. Please do it for her.

Maltester71 · 02/08/2022 20:30

It’s so bloody hard, we will stay here and give you a hand hold.

I hate this stuff!

Original poster
millytint44 · 02/08/2022 20:30

Afterfire · 02/08/2022 20:08

Why on earth were they going through her drawers?? That sounds incredibly weird!

I think you have to be led by her and if she’s now saying things are okay I would go with that as if you make a thing of cancelling it now it could make things hard for her but tomorrow I think you need a good chat with her about what on earth was / is going on.

Agreed. This is my approach right now. God parenting teenage girls is hard!

OP posts:
Original poster
millytint44 · 02/08/2022 20:32

Maltester71 · 02/08/2022 20:30

It’s so bloody hard, we will stay here and give you a hand hold.

I hate this stuff!

Thank you. Hand hold gratefully accepted. I'm a single mum and this is where it really feels hard!

OP posts:
Maltester71 · 02/08/2022 20:43

Well you aren’t alone, you’ve got us.

mine has gone on a residential. She phoned me and doesn’t sound happy. I can’t relax

Original poster
millytint44 · 02/08/2022 20:48

@Maltester71 thank you so much - appreciate that xx

Hope your's settles, it's awful when you feel they are unhappy isn't it?

OP posts:
Jollygreen · 02/08/2022 20:50

Ahhh I don't miss being a teenager. One of my friends puked a bacardi breezer on my bed on my 15th birthday sleepover. I'm happy being a boring 40yo.

cariadlet · 02/08/2022 20:53

I'd love to know if a time comes when you can stop worrying.

My dd is 19 and she went away for her first girls' holiday this summer. I had a message halfway through the week saying that she wanted to come home. 😕

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 02/08/2022 20:53

I feel your pain, I'm also a single parent of a teen girl!

Can they go out for a little bit? To the park or something before it gets dark? I find letting them have a little bit of freedom calms them down in the long run!

Otherwise free reign on Netflix!

Try and get your dd on her own at some point to check in, is there one girl who is more of a problem than the others? That would be the one I'd be taking home if she pisses about.

Maltester71 · 02/08/2022 21:06

It’s rubbish.

remember, it’s worse for you than for her. I’ve had two teenage girls and I’ve felt every bump in the road along the way, they often get over it and I’m still upset.

Heebijeebs · 02/08/2022 21:33

I'm a mum to boys so different kettle of fish, but I feel your pain. I think your messages to your dd were spot on, and it's good the others have apologised. Even if things do take a turn for the worse again, she knows you have her back. Good luck with the rest of the evening!

Original poster
millytint44 · 02/08/2022 21:48

Thanks for the support everyone 🙏

They are squealing laughing now on the trampoline so hopefully it's all ok... God I can't wait til lunchtime tomorrow 😵‍💫

OP posts:
Undertheoldlindentree · 02/08/2022 22:10

Noooooo! Glad all improving, but be prepared to rethink a lunchtime finish. My DC always said by morning the sleepover fun was done. They're tired and grumpy and niggles start to resurface.

I shove some juice cartons and a bag of brioche through the bedroom door at 9.30am. By 10am all sleepers are collected and DD and I are breathing a sigh of relief. Then she goes back to bed. 😁

BlueWhaleBay · 02/08/2022 22:15

Lunchtime tomorrow? First lesson, send them home right after breakfast. They’re always a mess in the morning.

Original poster
millytint44 · 02/08/2022 22:23

They won't be awake til 11 at the earliest, they will be going as soon as possible after that!

OP posts:
Maltester71 · 02/08/2022 22:23

I agree with that.

last time we had a sleepover, they ordered delivery breakfast drinks at 11am to delay going home. Never again

Ylvamoon · 02/08/2022 22:28

Oh, I hope they will stay "happy "...

My DC are not allowed sleepovers in their own bedrooms. We are lucky enough to have a 2nd sitting room- that's where they sleep. It's easier to break up the party if necessary.

I learned the hard way with tears all round, shouting and accusations... but without the reconciliation at f 1am!

Teenage girls can be a total nightmare.