Don’t know what to think/do

[RooRem2]

DS (6) is very good friends with a boy in his class. I have become good friends with his mum since they started nursery together. We go out for lunch/coffee sometimes whilst the kids are in school, go to each other’s houses, play dates etc then last weekend we went out together for a few drinks. She put a picture we had together from our night out on Facebook and I was having a read at some of the comments. She is from the Philippines so some comments and her replies were written in that language. Just out of curiosity I translated them. One man had commented “I need to take care of the kitchen” then friend commented back “haha there are big people over here” I presume they are talking about my weight as I am a couple of stone over weight and friend is very slim so I guess I look even bigger next to her. Bit of a kick in the teeth as I have been dieting and lost 2 stone recently. DP has told me not to read into it too much and thinks I may have misunderstood but I’m 99.9% certain I know what they are talking about. If I am correct I feel very hurt. I thought she was a really lovely friend and we get on so well. How should I act now? Tell myself I may have got it wrong and carry on as normal? Just ignore it? I don’t want to say anything as I am not a confrontational person. I guess I’ll just have to forget about it if I want to continue being friends☹️

Since posting I have realised my friend hasn’t necessarily said anything wrong personally about me and I’m not sure what I wanted her to say but I guess it’s the situation as a whole that has upset me

When I go to East Africa children yell at me UMZUNGO! meaning white skin, which I used to get insulted at but now see no harm and yell back UMSWAHILI ! Meaning black skin! Then we all laugh.. and interestingly in East Africa women of a larger size are cherished and considered sexy! Also in the same way there are nuances in English, there are plenty nuances in other languages..that non native speakers will miss… even English people have nuance that I as an Irish woman don’t understand when I’m with a group here in UK… and clearly no your friend is proud of you and wants to show people at home that you are her friend.. I think stay off google translate, because I think words alone don’t explain all that is being said…

The thing about auto translation is that it isn’t always right. It can miss nuance, idioms etc.

Well I wouldn't be able to relax round her, so would probably have to say something. I'd probably screenshot it and ask what it means.

Having travelled in Asia and could hardly fit onto bus seats or in clothes, I do know that we are huge, but I would not expect that comment from a friend.

I'd write something like "we have google translate here too" in their language . Friend should have deleted their comments IMO

In my experience, people from the Philippines don’t generally consider it rude to comment on body size, and as generally small-bodied people, think nothing of describing Europeans as ‘big’ or ‘fat’. Don’t let it get you down about losing two stone, OP. I used to have an older Filipina cleaner who would say things like ‘You’ve list weight —it doesn’t suit you at all!’😀

It’s nothing to be concerned about, just a general observation similar to saying many people in Holland are tall. When I was a UK size 8, in the Far East I was an L or XL, so think about how small the majority of people are. My children had a bad standing joke about elevator load limits being “3 Americans or 20 Thais”. The comment wasn’t personal.

The comment wasn’t from a friend, it was from a Facebook friend of the friends.

As the OP has pointed out in her second post, her friend hasn’t actually done anything wrong (except maybe not deleting the offensive posts).

OP you need to forget about this. Your friend is still your friend and she’s done nothing wrong.

It doesn't need to be a confrontation to just ask her what the comments said.

This is my experience too. It’s considered normal to comment on size, and the FB comments may be referring to your height. Most of the Filipino staff I work with are much smaller than me in height and build, and it’s common for them to comment on it. There’s no stigma attached to it in the way it might be perceived in the UK.
Your friend has done nothing wrong, her friends haven’t done something wrong either.

“haha there are big people over here”

It depends how you read this, I suppose! Friends friend was talking about being overweight and ops friend replied with this. The haha bit isn't very nice in itself.

Definitely this is a cultural difference. In the Philippines it is not seen as rude to comment on weight or appearance generally. Please try not to be offended!