I feel so shit about myself I don’t know how to go on

[Utt]

I Jose don’t want to be here. Im on maternity, ex nowhere to be seen. Hasn’t even asked about DS.

I am so worried about going back to work. Mortgage has just gone up. I feel so much stress. I just don’t want any of this.

my younger sibling has all her life sorted. Husband, children. Settled, happy.

I will never have these things and I just can’t cope with it all anymore. I hate it all.

Sorry you are going through such a rough time. That sounds very difficult. How old is your ds? What is troubling you about going back to work? Do you have visits from your health visitor? If you mention how you are feeling to them they can find out how best to support you. A lot of people struggle financially, more than ever lately so you are not alone. If you don't see a HV maybe an appointment with your GP will set you on the right track.
I know it's hard but don't compare yourself to other people. It may look like they 'have it together' but bad times happen to everyone. Focus on yourself and your ds. 💐

See your health visitor /doctor , I think they may be able to help

It's very hard as a new mother and it can seem too much but you will pull through abs things will improve. - especially if you tell the doctor how you are feeling

Sorry to hear you are going through a difficult time. Can you pursue your ex for maintenance through the courts so it is taken out of his wages directly to your bank a/c. Talk to Citizens Information who will help you through this process. As for your sister you really do not know what goes on behind closed doors and everyone has their problems and ups and downs and be happy for her if she is sorted and your time will come. Stop worrying about never having these things, all will be ok. Do you have any support and your sister could be a big support if you let her know how you feel. You have gone through so many changes after having a baby and emotionally takes a while for hormones to settle as all over the place and also you have been through a traumatic experience with your ex. Also contact welfare as you may be entitled to something also if your wages are low. Please reach out and talk to someone so you are not isolated. Take each day as it comes and you never know what is around the corner but for now build yourself up and if you get low talk to a doctor.

I've suffered depression and anxiety episodes all my life and to add to the good advice above , take one day at a time, find the smallest pleasure where you can and build on it moment by moment. You will have to make yourself do things even if you don't want to, get walking with your pram,it will tire you and get you out of four walls. Wishing you all the best for a hard journey. Xxx

www.home-start.org.uk has volunteers who help families.. maybe see if there’s a group in your area… can you switch to interest only mortgage? Remember this time will pass, change will come.. go seek help from your GP if you feel anxious all the time.. I did and I’m better..

Please fix your mortgage rate asap. Childminders are much cheaper than nurseries plus they work longer hours. Please find a childminder and claim Universal Credit alongside your income.

Pursue the CMS not that they are very efficient and many absent fathers do not pay any maintenance whatsoever. Nothing ventured nothing gained however.

Good luck.