Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Would you allow this for your teenage DD?

38 replies

Londono · 02/08/2022 17:59

DD, 17, is an only child and some friends of ours are coming to join us for a long weekend in our rented holiday villa. I've said she can invite a friend for the weekend to fly out but none of them are available for various reasons. Apart from a male friend of hers who she admits to fancying and the feeling seems mutual. I've met him in passing at various things over the last couple of years - village fete/parties kind of thing and he seems like a nice lad.

This is making me feel a bit weird though but I'm not sure why. Am I being old-fashioned? I can't quite put my finger on it, I almost feel like it would be better if they were an established relationship.

OP posts:

Motnight · 02/08/2022 19:27

I wouldn't. What happens if they don't get on, or one of them turns out to be more interested in a romantic relationship than the other? They could both end up miserable.

clipclop5 · 02/08/2022 19:28

DD has just turned 18, and unless it was an established relationship I don’t think I’d allow it on a family trip. Would much rather her take one of her close friends that I at least know rather than a random teenage boy

SolasAnla · 02/08/2022 19:33

XSnoe · 02/08/2022 18:08

She's 17, over the age of consent and will be an adult in less than a year. I think I'd allow it, but perhaps talk to her about not wanting any drama ruining the holiday.

@XSnoe
Being very pedantic it depends on where the holiday villa is and what age the boy is too.🤷🏼‍♀️

But I agree the OP needs to set ground rules.

Bigchezemakeme · 02/08/2022 19:35

I went away with my ‘best’ male friend at 17 - with his family. I was basically in love with him and it turned out the feeling was mutual!

it’s a lovely age to fall in love. And have great sex!

WombaMaPonga · 02/08/2022 19:38

I think you must have a great relationship with her for her to feel comfortable enough to invite him
just set the ground rules as you would with any of her friends , then the rest is down to trust

Rinatinabina · 02/08/2022 19:42

Only on the condition of separate rooms. Dh would probably try to lose him at the airport though.

stevalnamechanger · 02/08/2022 19:45

Totally fine

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 02/08/2022 23:00

I wouldn't. They aren't in a relationship. Their flirting will change the vibe of the holiday. And will be cringeworthy to watch.

Toosadtocomprehend · 02/08/2022 23:06

I definitely would really not worry. If they end up having a fling / shag it will happen anyway! If that doesn’t happen they will just enjoy each other’s company..win win TBH !

ilovelurchers · 03/08/2022 00:24

Sounds fine to me.

What are your worries? Your worst case scenario of what might happen?

Original poster

Londono · 03/08/2022 10:15

Thanks all, I didn't think so many posters would be in favour. DD is going to invite him today and see what his family says.

OP posts:

Original poster

Londono · 03/08/2022 10:16

@ilovelurchers I think it will be fine, actually, he seems like a nice boy. I just wondered if it was a bit odd to invite him with him not being a purely platonic friend or a boyfriend.

OP posts:

thenewduchessoflapland · 03/08/2022 16:44

At her age I was with my husband who was my boyfriend at the time.If they have separate rooms then I don't see it being an issue,if they become a couple at least you'll have had a chance to meet and get to know this lad abit.

I do think the fact he wasn't her first choice and she asked her female friends first is a positive thing;she has her priorities right.

If nothing happens between them then she's had a good holiday with a friend.

Flip

1 2