"Excuse me! You're a woman, Where's your shopping?

[YouCanHaveAParty]

Im amazed! My wife would be laden down with bags by this time of day!"

For disclosure- I am in a retail outlet shopping centre killing time waiting to pick up my teen from an activity. Yes, I'm female. Yes, I've been looking around the shops since 10am and it's now lunchtime and no, I haven't bought anything bar a coffee.

How odd that this man would walk past me and say this - he was fairly jolly and non threatening but I was a bit non-plussed by it all.

‘Thank you for your comment random man’

That's really really weird

I get this too all my life, comments from men (usually middle aged) about clothes shopping. It’s very tedious. I have snapped back from time to time and said ‘I hate clothes shopping yet I’m still a woman, how peculiar’. It’s always said in a jokey way but drives me nuts.

Obviously one of those 'joker' type men who identifies as being the life and soul of the party. He probably expected you to fall over laughing at his wit.

Yes, so odd! I was walking along, happily in my own little world ..... just weird

A bit of a daft comment but he may just be trying to be friendly

Oh yes, no doubt trying to be friendly. I wasn't worried, I just smiled and carried on walking. Have found myself a nice little table with a view in a pasta restaurant overlooking water and boats and enjoying the scenery and just contemplating what just happened.

It's a friendly town I'm in.

He was obviously making a friendly harmless comment trying to make convo and probs hinting that he hates shopping because of his wife. I can’t believe small non issues like this bother people

Daft comment but I wouldn’t give it a second thought.

Harmless, daft comment. But think about it the other way round. Would you ever comment on a bloke in a similar fashion?
Would you even be looking at them to notice what they are doing and then comment on it?

He was obviously looking at you / all women he's passing. he thinks it's fine for him to look at them all. He thinks of funny things to say and says them out loud to get your attention. He's using you to entertain himself and thinks nothing of it - that's what you're there for.

So yes, harmless and daft - but also symptom of a larger imbalance in society where bloke thinks this is fine and women don't even start to do this even if they are people watching.

Its casual every day sexism. Its perfectly possible to be polite or friendly without perpetuating silly stereotypes.

Funny how this kind of experience is nearly aways from men directed at women. Perhaps more of us should go around saying "what are you doing in a shopping centre, my husband would be putting up shelves"

It's a nice comment. I actually miss times when it was normal that someone approaches you and start a conversation. This man probably just said out loud what he was thinking, and I don't see any harm in it.

Yes, what are all those men doing in shopping centres when you can tell by their body language and the way they get in everyone's way while they stare at their phones with zero awareness of their surroundings that they don't want to be there.

But it's not a non issue. He's made a woman feel uncomfortable and he wouldn't make a similar comment to a man, which means it's not OK.

Agree with all of this.

Stuff like this doesn't annoy me as such, but it is funny to reflect on the imbalance sometimes. I'm perfectly capable of striking up conversation with strangers in a friendly way that doesn't target outdated stereotypes.

Haha @C8H10N4O2 this made me lol - I'm actually shopping for shelves!

"I am a serial killer, looking for my next target!"

On the fence. Yes, it would be less likely for a woman to approach a man like this so you could say there’s an imbalance. But I agree that it was nice back in the day to have strangers sharing a bit of banter, passing on a joke. Are we throwing the baby out with the bathwater?

Sounds like a joke/attempt to be friendly! Wouldn't let it bother you!

'Yes I suppose women usually busy themselves shopping or winning major European tournaments'

“What’s a man like you doing hanging around a shopping centre without his wife supervising him? Hope you’re not up to no good!” Mumsnet (c) tinkly laugh

One of these thread again

FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Twat.

and he wasn’t friendly but obnoxious and obviously thinking he was above you.

To be honest I think there are people out there that feel they can't make eye contact or walk past someone without say something. I don't think they worry about what it is they say. They just have to say something. I think they must just feel uncomfortable with silence.

Weird. How did he know you weren't working there, and on your lunch break?

Are you I Portsmouth