Moving back to the UK

[Angelica999]

Hi everyone

We've been living in Australia for 12 years and it's been great. Recently both my husband and I have started to feel quite homesick, maybe due to the travel bans/lockdowns and have talked about moving back to the UK.

We have a 14 year old son who is really happy here and settled, he said he would think about moving too if we were keen too, but I have told him that unless we all agree we'll stay put. My dad is 80 and in good health, but at that age, you never know how long you have, my mum died when I was young so he's been on his own. I feel guilty about that most days.

For the first time in 3 years we are flying back to the UK on Thursday for a month and I know that my husband will be keen to look at areas to live in, we used to live in rural Chester and were very happy there also before moving. We would be open to places like Bath, York, Bristol and some areas of Cheshire. He works in tech so being able to commutable to a large city would be a bonus.

My questions are....

1. Has the UK nosedived in terms of quality of living in the past few years, I hear so much negativity about the economy, crime, schools, healthcare, etc.
2. If you love where you live please tell me, I prefer the countryside with market towns, great cafes/restaurants, good community, low crime (obvs) peace and quiet and space.
3. Is 14 a bad age to move a boy to another part of the world, even though he will be around more family? He's very confident and sociable so I'm hoping he would be okay.

So many questions! Thanks for getting this far!! 😩

So many typos. no glasses on

Agree!

UK is failing due to Brexit, nationalism and division. Australia has it's problems too but is a more accepting tolerant place to live. I have lived in both... No brainer stay in Australia.

100% this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is the reason for moving apart from "you're a bit homesick "

Can you not wait a few years , seems very very unfair to move him accross the world now

Having moved to Australia from the UK and taught secondary in both countries, I'd say that moving 14 year-old is problematic for schooling, as he'll be dropped into a public exam system, where the stakes matter in terms of progression to A levels.

In Australia there are no public exams until the last year of school, year 12 (UK13) , though the studies start in Year 11. There is also the advantage that English is compulsory in secondary schools years 7-12, so these skills don't fall by the wayside after Year 10 (UK 11).

I'd move later for your son's sake. He'll also cop foreign student university fees in the UK.

I'd still have a look at the dependent adult visa for your dad.

I'd stay in Australia to be honest

OMG OP do not do it please. You will come back for a month of summer in the UK and no work and think oh wow this is great, it isn't for all the reasons on this thread that will people will post.

Your DC is settled and probably has a lovely lifestyle with sun and sea involved. Now imagine the UK with probably less than 50% of the sunshine hours of Oz, grey and miserable for half the year, everybody behind closed doors with the TV blaring. No doubt this will offend but this is the reality of UK for many people.

I say this from experience having moved back overseas after several years back in the UK - I moved back with rose tinted glasses but all of the old issues came back and luckily my DCs were only little so they are now growing up in a much better place.

Just please think long and hard.

Oh gosh, where do I start?

The education issue is paramount and I would definitely not risk this crucial stage of his education.

Apart from that biggie, the UK is awful to live in at the moment. I've never known it to be so bad.

Healthcare is difficult to access and not great when you do manage it. Expect to wait 13 hours for an emergency ambulance or years to find a dentist.

Housing is extremely expensive.

The criminal justice system is woeful. 70% of Met police officers didn't arrest a single person last year. Say that last stat to anyone and their reply will be "that doesn't surprise me!"

A third of children live in poverty (inequality is a big problem here). Despite this the government vote against giving poor kids meals in the summer holidays then waste the money on failed initiatives like Eat Out to get Covid.

The government are corrupt (eg, PPE/covid loan scandals and something new each day, eg, a new £70 BILLION contract awarded to a company with two employees, assets of ~£300K and no experience in the brief revealed just today) and it's hypertension-inducing just to listen to the news.

The country is divided due to BREXIT and culture wars stoked by said government.

Scotland seem to want to leave and who blames them and the government insult them at every opportunity while claiming to value the union.

We have fucked it for the younger generation. We call them Generation Rent, but I think a better term is Generation Debt. They'll never be able able to afford their own houses without help from their parents and unless your parents are wealthy you have to take out tens of thousands of pounds in debt to go to university. The current interest rate for student loans is set to be 7.3% in September despite our interest rate being 1.25%. It was meant to be 12% but they actually stepped in and capped it.

I could go on 🙄

We couldn’t wait to get our 13, turning 14yo DS out of the UK education system tbh. Maybe we were unlucky (and I know not all kids get assaulted by a teacher in what was considered a very good school in a nice area) but it really was the best thing we ever did for him and as an adult he openly says that. We were able to afford private schooling for all three of our kids here, something we couldn’t have dreamed of in England. If your son is happy and settled don’t do it to him, it won’t be too many years before he finishes school and you can follow your dreams then.

In think the uk is a fine place to live. No worse than anywhere else. It has its issues but it's not that bad!

However your son is not at a good age to move. Presumably he considers himself Australian now? If you must move back I would wait until he's finished school at least and then give him the choice to stay in Oz.

This

Hi OP,

I've just moved back from Aus 6 months ago.... best decision ever!

Yes the UK has it's issues medically and politically, but Aus isn't perfect in those respects anyway.

I, like you, had overwhelming home sickness after feeling trapped in Aus during covid. Being back, I feel so much more "content", so many people thought we'd hate it but we love it. People tend to be negative on here about things, but a lot of the issues mentioned (bar schooling and GPs) won't impact your day to day. I know a few other expats who've moved back in the last year and similarly love it.

Our view moving back was that we could do it and try it and see how we felt, with the door being open to go back to Aus - then at least that burning desire to move back would be gone and you know where you need to be in the world.

The areas you've mentioned are great - love Chester! Houses are expensive but heck, they are in Aus too. The best thing about the UK is that life seems to have a bit more meaning, can't really explain it very well but there's more stuff to do that's not just walks/coffee/beach (I was in Sydney). Also, being nearer to family is everything.

I guess practicalities that people are talking about are important, but so is your emotional state and how you feel about being there, having that gut feeling that you want to move and you feel too far away isn't nice to live with day in day out.

Hope this perspective helps!

I think a teen can potentially live a happy life in either country but agree that 14 is probably one of the worst ages for a move.

My aunt travelled to Australia when she was 85! So maybe your dad can visit you too if he’s in good health and stay for as long the visa allows. My aunt travelled to Australia, Japan and Thailand - she loved it and was treated like royalty at all airports and on all planes (even the UK ones)

I'm afraid I agree with many others about it being a bad age for your son to move. Unless all goes right for him in the UK (unlikely as moving country is never easy) this could have an impact on him for the rest of his life. A member of my extended family, now in his late 40s, had this happen to him at the same age (but opposite way UK-Australia). Now obviously there will be other things going on, but his mental health has never been great and just before the pandemic it really nose-dived (many suicide attempts, hospitalisation). Based on many conversations with him over the years, I'm pretty convinced the move aged 14, combined with anger at his parents for doing it and then not understanding the extent of impact on him, have had a detrimental affect on his MH.

Anyway, it pains me to say the above because I sympathise with you massively. Homesickness and missing family is horrible.

As for the brexit / state of the country stuff, am afraid there is something in this. Public services all seem to be less well functioning and there is quite a febrile doom round the corner atmosphere. The anniversary of the 2012 olympics the other week really brought it home to me how much the tories have wrecked the country over the last 12 years: austerity, brexit, undermining our democratic system. I think with a change of govt things will get better, but we'll probably be waiting til early 2025 for that. So OP, see if you can get through til your son is at Uni and then contemplate a move back!

What on earth for? Have a more practical think about social fits, money, careers, quality of life, rather than one based on rose tinted glasses.

The U.K. has been divided deliberately into rich and poor and anger here is growing. The economy is tanking, understaffed public services are collapsing, and workers are hopelessly demotivated. Crime appears to be growing. We have a form of inverted totalitarianism here, where the opinions of the rich politically correct middle classes rule and no one is allowed to question anything even as it collapses. I can’t imagine why anyone who has a choice would be here.

The anniversary of the 2012 olympics the other week really brought it home to me how much the tories have wrecked the country over the last 12 years: austerity, brexit, undermining our democratic system

Absolutely this. It was quite shocking to take the moment to remember what the mood was like in the country back then and compare it to the state we're in now

The U.K. has been divided deliberately into rich and poor and anger here is growing. The economy is tanking, understaffed public services are collapsing, and workers are hopelessly demotivated. Crime appears to be growing. We have a form of inverted totalitarianism here, where the opinions of the rich politically correct middle classes rule and no one is allowed to question anything even as it collapses. I can’t imagine why anyone who has a choice would be here.

This poster put it so well. Nobody would be surprised if there's riots soon. Least of all the ruling class. That's why they've banned noisy protest and Sunak has announced plans that speaking badly of the UK will be considered extremism. So these kinds of comments will get us investigated as terrorists!

Hey everyone!

THANK YOU all for your messages, I have read them all as they came in and pondered on all your points. We've been back in the UK now for 10 days and I think we're all agreed that Australia is better for us right now. I feel bad saying that - it was home for 39 years, but I see things here have changed and generally not for the better. I think I will make do with getting my UK family and friends fix on a trip home once a year. Feeling pretty deflated x

Hey at least you've realised that on a holiday, not after spending thousands moving then potentially moving back, leaving jobs, moving schools, etc.

OP you’ve done exactly the right thing and can still enjoy the U.K. each year. Well done 👍

You have definitely made the right decision.

OP, I'd suggest you speak to any relatives you and your husband still have in the UK as you should get a good handle on quality of life here. Its pretty fashionable on this forum for posters to put down the UK.

Other than that, think carefully about moving a 14 year old as GCSEs will be well under way. Adjusting to a new culture, new school, new curriculum AND new educational pressures might be too overwhelming for your son.

@DownNative yes for good reason as the OP has now realised!

I think you've made the right decision OP.

I left the UK 20-odd years ago. I love my home country so much, but I can't imagine ever wanting to move home with things as they are. I'm in the EU and I'm here to stay.

No, the OP did not elaborate on reasons why.

Generally, the attitude on this forum regarding the UK doesn't match the HDI rankings, for example. Australia is only 0.012 points above the United Kingdom and both countries are regarded as "Very High" in terms of HDI. This is not a gulf.

Of the top 15, only the Federal Republic of Germany has a population comparable in size to the UK. In other words, the UK is still a very good place to live.

So I'd take the posts on here with a large pinch of salt. Of course, individuals will have their own set of priorities and reasoning for their lives which is fine.