Family fall out

[lavenderlove]

Hi just wondering if anyone has any advice.. a couple of months ago my auntie, uncle and my mum (all siblings) fell out. The family has now split in to 2 halves with auntie on one side and the rest of the family (including uncle and me) on the other side of it.

I haven't been apart of this and my cousin who I was really close with (aunties daughter) has been reaching out to me to meet up. Thing is, auntie has been horrible to my mum and so has cousin so I feel stuck in the middle. It's all anyone in the family talks about all the time and I'm finding it so overwhelming and stressful. Seeing my mum upset also causes me a lot of stress and upset. Should I meet up with cousin or just stay away until things cool off?

Sorry to hear this OP.

I think you should meet up with your cousin. Do you know exactly what happened? My mum often falls out with her siblings and her account is very different to theirs.

Is there any chance of reconciliation? Its very stressful. Im going through something similar and I am dreading Christmas already. Would rather spend it aboard than with my warring family.

Its awkward but I also think you should meet up with your cousin. It isn't you two that had a falling out.

Don't meet up with your cousin. You would be betraying your mum. Only meet up with your mum's blessing which she has no reason to give if your cousin has been terrible to her.

You're not your mum, your cousin is not her mother. Draw that distinction, meet up and agree not to let it affect your relationship, it sounds like you both need each other.

If I was your mum, I wouldnt want to drag you into the fight and I would want you to still meet up with your cousin. Have you spoken to your mum about it?

This sounds so like my FOO. My mother and siblings would regularly fall out with each other leading to years of unresolved estrangement. I wasn't allowed to see my cousin who I was close to because battle lines were drawn. Hopefully that won't happen on your family. Is this a one off, or periodic fall outs?

It's not your circus, not your monkeys but as you have mentioned that your cousin is part of the nastiness towards your mother, meeting up with her may be seen by your mother as dismissing her hurt. Can you ask your mother how she would feel about a meet up? All in the open, no secrets to drag you into 'sides'.

If she objects, perhaps better to keep your distance until apologies have been exchanged or the issue resolved.