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Original poster

Do you think your child is too confident?

21 replies

toohotforthistwinmummy · 01/08/2022 13:58

I have 3 year old twins. One of them is very very sociable. She loves to talk to other children and will have no hesitation about talking to the adults as well as children.

We were at our local park today, on a lawn there are several toys out. My DD tried interacting with the other children, some were up for it some were not, which is fine not everyone wants to play, but the looks one particular parent was given my DD was one of annoyance. My DD then ran off and fell over and and scuffed her knees. We had cuddles, I brushed her down and told her she was ok. She then ran over to one of the parents and said “look I’ve got a boo boo” the parent just looked at her and said “we’ll it can’t be that bad you’re still walking”

I couldn’t believe it, I just gathered our things and moved onto another part of the park.

My other DD isn’t quite as confident, she will play but is more hesitant. If it’s clear other children don’t want to play I’ll divert DT1 onto another activity.

Is my DD too confident or was the other parent a bit mean?

OP posts:
Goldenbear · 01/08/2022 14:58

The parent was mean and ridiculously childish- what grown adult responds to a 3 year old with such contempt.

Reallyreallyborednow · 01/08/2022 15:04

I don’t think it’s mean or contemptuous? Although it depends a bit on the tone in which it was said.

i quite often respond (in good humour) like that when my kids are hurt- well you’re walking so it isn’t broken kind of thing.

as for confidence? I don’t think kids can be too confident, but are you sure she wasn’t bugging the other parent? There’s a difference between a confident kid and one who attaches themselves to your group and expects you to entertain them, especially when the parent thinks it’s cute or whatever and does nothing to stop them annoying you constantly.

BendingSpoons · 01/08/2022 15:29

I've said similar to my children so I don't think it's mean. Of course I give them cuddles in the moment but it just sounds like a bit of a joke to lighten things afterwards. Plus she might have been caught unawares and said something without thinking.

Tbh it's hard to tell without being there. She may have been unfairly giving off vibes you picked up on. Equally I have got fed up with kids in the past that won't leave me or my kids alone. If my kids are happily playing, I want to enjoy 5 minutes peace rather than talking to someone else's kid!

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Cotherstone · 01/08/2022 15:39

I know what you mean, DS(5) is ridiculously outgoing and would have done the exact same thing. I find it a really hard line between not making an issue of it so he doesn’t think he’s doing something “wrong”, but also teaching him you can’t just talk to anyone and tell them your life story. I worry a lot that he’s just annoying people, even other children!

Maybe you would have said something different to a child who said that to you, but they weren’t exactly rude

SecretSnake · 01/08/2022 15:42

I can’t stand strange kids coming over and bothering me. You shouldn’t let her do that.

Original poster
toohotforthistwinmummy · 01/08/2022 15:43

Cotherstone · 01/08/2022 15:39

I know what you mean, DS(5) is ridiculously outgoing and would have done the exact same thing. I find it a really hard line between not making an issue of it so he doesn’t think he’s doing something “wrong”, but also teaching him you can’t just talk to anyone and tell them your life story. I worry a lot that he’s just annoying people, even other children!

Maybe you would have said something different to a child who said that to you, but they weren’t exactly rude

I totally agree, and maybe I projected my feelings of her not wanting to come across as annoying. I never just let her go off and latch onto another family but I also don’t want to break her confidence. It is such a fine line.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 01/08/2022 15:46

SecretSnake · 01/08/2022 15:42

I can’t stand strange kids coming over and bothering me. You shouldn’t let her do that.

If you go out in public I'm amazed you manage any days without a random person talking to you.

fruitflyhater · 01/08/2022 15:48

It really depends on the situation, but I don't love random kids coming up to talk to me.
My DH gets it all the time and he really just wants to concentrate on his own DC.
Of course would never be rude to a child. But if I were you I would have encouraged my DC away from talking to random people

SecretSnake · 01/08/2022 15:49

SleepingStandingUp · 01/08/2022 15:46

If you go out in public I'm amazed you manage any days without a random person talking to you.

Show quote history

Why would random people come up and talk to me?!

thetombliboo · 01/08/2022 15:49

I feel the same as secret snake and I often wonder why some children have no stranger danger awareness.
Today in our park I'm left humouring a random very confident child showing me how he goes down the slide 80 times whilst mum sat on a bench smoking & having a chat on the phone.
I honestly wouldn't let my children go and talk to strangers I would call them back and redirect their attention.
Personally I find it annoying, I just want to play with my kid.

fruitflyhater · 01/08/2022 15:50

thetombliboo · 01/08/2022 15:49

I feel the same as secret snake and I often wonder why some children have no stranger danger awareness.
Today in our park I'm left humouring a random very confident child showing me how he goes down the slide 80 times whilst mum sat on a bench smoking & having a chat on the phone.
I honestly wouldn't let my children go and talk to strangers I would call them back and redirect their attention.
Personally I find it annoying, I just want to play with my kid.

Yeah this

BryceQuinlanTheFirst · 01/08/2022 15:57

I'm mixed on this. My son is autistic and hates contact with anyone except me and his dad so this isn't an issue I have to deal with, however we do go places with other kids and I'm always amazed how oblivious parents are to their kids coming up and wanting to talk to me. I do think they should be careful with strangers. I have my son 12 hours a day, as awful as it sounds I'm not interested in chatting with and playing with other people's kids too. If it was just one thing they said to me I would obviously be kind and smiley back but if they kept coming off inside I would be irritated.

Aria999 · 01/08/2022 16:01

If random kids chat to me I just give kind one-line responses.

If your kid is clearly annoying someone then sure you should rein them in but otherwise 🤷‍♀️

Aria999 · 01/08/2022 16:04

(DS6 likes to talk to perfect strangers, I normally give them an apologetic look and stand ready to divert him if they seem to need it but I think it's a shame to suppress social instincts that will be useful in later life).

TheLeadbetterLife · 01/08/2022 16:04

I would probably have said the same thing as that parent. What else should she have said? I talk to kids I actually know like this, let alone ones I've never met before. I don't do baby talk and toddlers are pretty dull, so if they don't want to talk to me, that's absolutely fine.

saveforthat · 01/08/2022 16:05

I think the lady's comment was not meant to be mean. My Mum used to say "you'll live" after checking out scraped knees etc. I'm always amazed when people say don't let your children talk to other people. What an awful world it would be if we all ignored chatty little ones. I always engage with children if they approach me. I was once told on another thread that I must be a man because I expected people to say good morning back if I said good morning to them. I expect it's the same type of people who don't want to give a tiny bit of their time to a child.

RedHelenB · 01/08/2022 16:07

Another odd thing about mumsnet. Most mums I know don't mind a little chat and interaction with a strange child. I don't see anything wrong in what she said about his boo boo, it's a standard response.

easyday · 01/08/2022 16:10

I don't think that was mean - it depends on her tone as the words themselves are fine.
As for those not wanting to talk to others adults - I don't get that at all. You are in a park with other people, surely it's human nature to have a chat? How do you think people meet other people? You don't have to talk if you don't want to. But I think it's a basic human skill to be able to chat to someone for 15 min and pass the time in a pleasant way.
Kids can be annoying though, I'd be less inclined to engage with them much - I'm minding mine I don't want to start feeling I need to mind another kid too.

Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 01/08/2022 16:13

My son is also super confident and will share every thought that passes his mind with any adult that shows the slightest bit of interest. I'm on a fine line between squashing his confidence but also not letting him wreck anyone's head with it. I'm also Irish so I'm trying to suppress the natural urge to make sure he suppresses any form of confidence

squashyhat · 01/08/2022 16:16

What the hell is a boo boo?

inmyslippers · 01/08/2022 16:16

Other peoples kids are annoying

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