Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Would you consider a 17 year old an adult or a child?

101 replies

Clarke1979 · 01/08/2022 12:30

A lot of people on here seem to think that 16 is still only a child but 17 is practically an adult. What do you think? When you think of a 17 year old do you think of an adult or a child?

OP posts:
Biglumpycustard · 01/08/2022 13:33

Child

fatlazycow · 01/08/2022 13:34

I will never forget a post on a similar thread where somebody (completely seriously) believed you shouldn’t be able to drive or live alone until 25 🤣

Itsincidental · 01/08/2022 13:38

Young adult. As PP have said, can marry at 16 in Scotland. And vote in the Scottish elections.

However I think many still need support/ guidance into their early 20s.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

17 years old
RedRobyn2021 · 01/08/2022 13:38

I think the prefrontal cortex doesn't even finish developing until around 25, so at 17 there would still be immature judgement and impulse control. A 17 year old would still need a great deal of guidance, support and patience.

SherbertLemonDrop · 01/08/2022 13:54

I'd completed an apprenticeship and been in full time work for 2 years (plus part time before that), was renting a flat and had a baby by then so I felt like an adult at 17. My teen son will definitely not be an adult at 17 🤣🤣

lljkk · 01/08/2022 13:59

I don't believe anyone age 13+ should be called a child.
"Teenager" is fine, it covers the space well between child and adult.

Oblomov22 · 01/08/2022 14:00

Depends on the child. Some are immature. Others aren't. Ds1 was a young adult. Passed driving test early, he was off....

Lightning020 · 01/08/2022 14:01

My ds is 17 but I have tried to treat him as a young adult from age 16. However bearing in mind young people are adolescents until the age of 25 I firmly believe they still need a lot of support and guidance until that age.

TheMoth · 01/08/2022 14:02

I think it's trickier after 16, as there are so many variables at play. Amongst the friends I've known/ meet along the way, 17-18 yr old experiences have been vastly different.

I was living the life of Riley- doing whatever I wanted, but not having any adult responsibilities. As were a lot of my friends. I totally felt like I was an adult and couldn't understand why my dad didn't take my political arguments seriously.
More than one friend of mine was pregnant with her 1st. A fair few girls were pregnant by the end of yr11.
Another was working in holiday camps in Europe.
Another was thrown out at 16 and sharing a flat whilst studying.
Yet another went prematurely middle aged and was working/ saving for a house.

I teach 17 yr olds. I would say they are most definitely children, but with emerging adult qualities.

I also find the adult at 25 thing interesting too. I was definitely doing a lot of stupid things, even as a young professional.

Justmore · 08/12/2022 07:05

You do realize the world adolescent exists. It’s what comes after child but just before adult. It’s completely it’s own thing by fact. At 17 you are towards the later end of your adolescents and much overall a young adult then anything transitioning. There is nothing factually, biologically, emotionally, physically, child about someone that old or around it. They are factually, biologically, emotionally, physically, adult/or adolescent depending on which one you point out or talk about. Now if we we’re to talk about a 7 year old and a 57 year old clearly one is a actual child and the other a full blown adult. 🤷‍♂️👍🏼

lifeinthehills · 08/12/2022 07:09

Depends on the 17 year old.

AmberGer · 08/12/2022 07:17

It really does depend. I look at my 17 year old now and he really is a child in so many ways.
I was living with his dad when I was 17 and he was 18, paying bills, working full time. We were adults.
That still made silly decisions sometimes, when we had paid our bills but spent everything else on nights out and were eating pasta and cheese for a fortnight until payday- and repeat 😆

piedbeauty · 08/12/2022 07:19

An adult when it suits them, a child when it suits them...

Depends on the dc.

OppositeNumber · 08/12/2022 07:24

Trainee adult

fUNNYfACE36 · 08/12/2022 07:28

GeekyThings · 01/08/2022 12:33

Child. Just a really tall and smelly child.

What a horrible thing to say.i have a 17 year old who ls not that tall and definitely not at all smelly

inappropriateraspberry · 08/12/2022 07:29

In between. Can have moments of maturity and are old enough to drive, but still have little experience of the world and life, they could still be in school education or not long out of it.

gruffalosbrother · 08/12/2022 07:30

Child. My 20 year old is a young adult, making most of his own decisions but still needing guidance from me and still financially dependent on me as he’s a student

Managinggenzoclock · 08/12/2022 07:32

Depends on the circumstances. For food purposes, an adult. For making big decisions, a child. However I’m pretty forgiving of adults who mess up too. Adults are just slightly older kids.

Beetlewings · 08/12/2022 07:33

I left home to work at the other end of the country when I was 17. Still very much a child. I struggled to slot into the world of grownups. I wish I'd been given a bit more of a gentle start, this inbetween stage is a good opportunity to prepare for adulthood and in the best circumstances ought to be a slow transition (it never works like that irl 😂)

PAFMO · 08/12/2022 07:33

Clarke1979 · 01/08/2022 12:30

A lot of people on here seem to think that 16 is still only a child but 17 is practically an adult. What do you think? When you think of a 17 year old do you think of an adult or a child?

As others have said, on Mumsnet a 17 year old should either still be sleeping in a cot and you should still be walking them the 5 minutes to school (and doing the "livid" thing every time they're told off (with the teacher obvs)) or they should have been paying you board and lodgings since the day they turned 16 and cooking their own meals in your kitchen using their own pans and only allowed to eat with you if you've split the bill.

In real life and far less dramatic: depends on the 17 year old.

canyouextrapol · 08/12/2022 07:38

I teach sixth formers. They're definitely children. Children that think they're adults which is prob the worst state to be in :D

Abraxan · 08/12/2022 07:39

I've taught 17y in the past, and have had my own along with knowing many of their friends.

They are older teenagers, technically still a child - but don't dare call that that to their face.

Even the most mature seeming ones, are not 'proper' adults yet. They have a lot more learning to do, a lot more growing up. Even their brains haven't stopped developing at that point, and there are times when this really shows.

They think they're adults but when it comes down to the nitty gritty they are still very much children.

Yes, some may be living adult like lives. It doesn't mean they are an adult, legally or not.

DancedInClover · 08/12/2022 07:39

A child. That’s important in some circumstances. But on a most things, when my son was that age, he made his own decisions like an adult.

CrapBucket · 08/12/2022 07:45

Jeez my 17 yo is more like a toddler than any other age group! Obviously I outwardly treat him as though he is an adult but privately my expectations of him are very low.

shivawn · 08/12/2022 07:46

Closer to an adult I would say but then I don't really know any 17 year olds.

I moved 12 hours away for college a few months after turning 17, of course this was almost 20 years ago.