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Original poster

Everyone scaring me about single parenthood, is this accurate?

28 replies

Orttu · 01/08/2022 08:29

I won’t ever sleep, won’t cope, will have no social life, will feel totally trapped, will be bored, will be lonely, I won’t have time to even stop for a drink let alone food… I’m so depressed.

Ive organised a night nanny for two weeks from the fear and also a cleaner once a week and laundry service once a week. I feel like this horrendous task is coming and all joy has just gone. I never felt like this before. It honestly feels like everyone is waiting for me to collapse and not manage.

OP posts:
Whatafielddayfortheheat · 01/08/2022 09:54

Sorry that was meant to reply to your nursery question.

orbitalcrisis · 01/08/2022 09:54

I brought up 3 autistic children on my own on benefits with no child support. It was hard while I was pregnant with number 3, then when I had her and her brother was going through the terrible 2s, but it was ok, I got through it.

By the time the eldest started school and the middle was in nursery I loved it! Even started studying for a degree and doing voluntary work. My part was the summer holidays. I even started to regret sending them to school and not home-schooling all of them.

People can be arseholes though. They kept telling me I wouldn't cope and all I could think was, why? I've been coping for the past few years, why would I stop now!

Purplehonesty2 · 01/08/2022 10:34

viques · 01/08/2022 08:55

What really wears you down is not the tiredness , the sleepless nights and the relentlessness, what wears you down is always being the one.

The one who makes all the decisions, the one who does all the grim stuff, the one who never gets a lie in, the one who is always at the end of the phone, the one who is responsible , the one who has the responsibility for cleaning, for cooking, for shopping, for working, for bill paying, the one whose job is remembering everything,the one who does all the playing, all the reading, all the bathtimes, all the bed times, all the toy picking up, all the interminable favourite video watching, all the park trips in November, all the school stuff, the one who answers all the questions, the one who does all the worrying.

Its ok to say oh you are the one who gets to have all the joy, that’s true, but sometimes it would be nice to share the joy, and share the grunt work of parenting too.

To be fair I think that's most mothers whether they are single or not!

I do all of that and yet I am married. My husband isn't the kids dad and he's great at providing for us, good company etc but he's not a parent. And I wouldn't ask him to do those things.

My ex didn't do anything for them and he is their dad.

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