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Original poster

Anyone else noticed this when they visit the doctors?

41 replies

mathsQuizMe · 01/08/2022 08:01

In the past 18 months I have visited the doctors twice. Both for separate, new problems.

Both times I have gone, the doctor has asked me what I think the problem could be. I found this odd as I'm going there for them to diagnose me, not to give them my suggestions.

When I gave a suggestion they both ( different doctors, different times ) gave a little laugh and tell me it's probably not that.

It then makes me feel like I'm being silly for even being there.

Is this something new that you have noticed? Prior to these two occasions I have never been asked what I think the problem could be, and definitely never been laughed at when voicing my concerns.

OP posts:

PaperMonster · 01/08/2022 08:07

Our GPs usually ask what you think it is - but they don’t laugh. But it’s been like that for a while. They assume people will Google! And my old GP said he likes it when people inform themselves about conditions. However if you don’t like them saying that then just say “I’ve no idea, which is why I’ve come to you to find out”.

FleasAndKeef · 01/08/2022 08:08

This is something doctors are taught to do so they can properly address your concerns. If you go in worrying that you have cancer for example, they would want to know so they can either consider this possibility properly, or reassure you as to why its not.

They shouldn't be laughing at you for any answer you give though. Perhaps you could give us some feedback to the practice about this if it's happened more than once?

LeroyJenkinssss · 01/08/2022 08:09

It’s not necessarily a new thing. I’ve been a doc for some years and when I was training there was a huge push on ‘ICE - ideas, concerns, expectations’. It was meant to be so that you could find out if a patient was worrying about a specific diagnosis and so could make sure you address it and also know what outcome they were hoping for.

I must admit I never really found a phrase for some patients that I was happy with as it just comes across as if I didn’t have a clue. Now I work in a specialty where it’s pretty damn obvious what’s wrong.

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PuffinMcStuffin · 01/08/2022 08:09

Mine often asks what I want them to do, my answer is usually along the lines of 'use your experience and education to help me establish how I can feel better' while trying to keep the sarcasm silent.

lljkk · 01/08/2022 08:16

I wasn't asked what I thought it was but as part of describing symptom history I said what I thought it was. Really don't care if they give a nervous laugh or not.

MyLifeIsFictional · 01/08/2022 08:21

PuffinMcStuffin · 01/08/2022 08:09

Mine often asks what I want them to do, my answer is usually along the lines of 'use your experience and education to help me establish how I can feel better' while trying to keep the sarcasm silent.

Hope you can keep the sarcasm out of that statement a bit better than it does come across!

KangarooKenny · 01/08/2022 08:22

Yes, it’s what they do now.

ilovebagpuss · 01/08/2022 08:25

More than " So what do you think this is" I hate the "So what do you want out of this appointment" I often feel like saying well give me the big book of drugs and I'll have a leaf through.
However I've come to realise they just want you to be assertive and ask for X treatment so they can probably state Mrs X came in today asking to start HRT.
Now if I ever go in I have learnt to be clear and just say I think I have X problem and if so I've read X can help or could you suggest any options.
You do seem to have to be direct and just go in and say I need further investigations please into this, Or I have symptoms of Menopause I am keen to try HRT.
Obviously if it's a more random symptom you are going to need blood tests etc so best to just say I'll leave it up to you Dr.

Blackopal · 01/08/2022 08:33

I had a consultant say to me 'and what is it you want me to do?'
(I was actually very ill and was admitted to hospital from the appointment)

I felt terrible, had brain fog and no filter, no patience I put my head on his desk and said exasperated
'i want you to find what's wrong with me and make it better, why what do you do??'
He laughed and said well yes, fair enough.

Think the approach is to gain more info, see where the patients head is at and reassure.

Thisismynamenow · 01/08/2022 08:38

I have no trust in doctors anymore. I've been having ongoing health issues with my Son. My doctor told me to stop listening to the healthcare professionals like HV, pediatrician and Doctor and to listen to my parents instead as they've already raised kids and should know, and he asked me what they've said about my babies illness.

He seemed shocked when I said my parents told me to listen to the healthcare professionals 🙄

alnawire · 01/08/2022 08:41

When I gave a suggestion they both ( different doctors, different times ) gave a little laugh and tell me it's probably not that.

If you are suggesting you have a serious illness when you have a fungal toe or something then I can imagine them doing a wee laugh as in 'no no don't worry it's not serious' - they are not really laughing at you but lightening the moody of someone who has been worried about nothing.

MyBrilliantFriend · 01/08/2022 08:41

I have such a strong memory of being in labour with dc1, it all going really pear shaped with alarms going off all over the place and the dr looking at me and saying ‘what do you think we should do?’ Even at the time after hours of labour & being so concerned for my baby I remember just thinking WTF? You’re the doctor, you should know this!

DD was born less than 10 minutes later by EMCS. I suppose they were trying to show me I had consented / maybe give me an illusion of control over a stressful situation? But it did not help me feel confident!

However there have been other times when I have been glad drs have taken more of a consultative / collaborative approach rather than authoritative…eg during fertility treatment & also when DC1 needed some investigations & I was able to push for them to do a bit more than they were initially planning.

maranella · 01/08/2022 09:00

It's weird isn't it OP? I guess they're trying to meet the expectations of the patient and without knowing what those expectations are, they can't do that. Every time now I get asked something along the lines of 'What would you like the outcome of this appointment to be?'. To each one of us, that question seems to have a glaringly obvious answer, but it clearly doesn't, or they wouldn't ask it.

Isittimef0rbedyet · 01/08/2022 09:04

Mine does this all the time. I always thought it was really strange but can see PPs points. I never thought of it that way.

Limecoconutice · 01/08/2022 09:14

They also do this when they suspect you have something serious like cancer, or it has just been diagnosed, to ascertain how much knowledge and understanding people have about their condition. You can get two patients emerging from an appointment with the same consultant, and one will have taken on board what the consultant said, asked questions, and read up about the illness and put two and two together, whereas another patient will have a poor understanding of how the body works, had missed or misunderstood the cues from the consultant and is totally unsuspecting and clueless.

badgermushrooms · 01/08/2022 09:16

I recently visited the GP about bleeding mid cycle, convinced (for a whole lot of other reasons) I had ovarian cancer. The fact that I thought that (and why) massively changed the nature of the visit - rather than sending me away with a prescription for the pill she set up tests and was able to provide actual reassurance.

I'd rather they asked than assumed, like the GP I went to with a painful ganglion cyst which was affecting my ability to use my right hand but who just decided I was a silly young woman who thought it didn't look very nice.

Icecreamandapplepie · 01/08/2022 09:20

I would like to be asked that. Would make me feel respected and listened to.

Part of a normal conversation, no?

Of course they will then proceed to attempt to diagnose and treat you according to their knowledge and training.

Why do some have to get so het up about every little thing? And as for answering them sarcastically, why so rude to someone trying to do their (very difficult) job?

Makegoodchoices · 01/08/2022 09:24

I once had “so YOU think it’s broken do you?” in a patronising tone. Then “and what would you like me to do about it?”

Yes I had a broken foot, and yes I wanted a bloody X-ray and appropriate treatment!

TBH I’m just grateful he didn’t try and weigh me and tell me if I lost a few lbs I’d be better off.

Snapplepie · 01/08/2022 09:31

IMHO this is a really important question. Medicine is often not as simple as diagnose and cure. People go to the GP with all kinds of worries or thoughts about what is wrong and its important that they feel they have permission to articulate them and have them addressed. Of course you should never be laughed at for what you say.

For anyone who thinks that there is a glaringly obvious (cure me!) answer to these questions, if you take the example of new back pain and ask patients what they think or want you might get answers as diverse as:

my mum died of cancer and I'm scared that the same thing is happening to me
I think I have cauda equina syndrome
I just want you to check it's nothing serious
Work said I needed to see you and get a sick note
I want some pain killers
I definitely don't want pain killers
I want to see a physio
I want to know if it's ok to keep going to the gym
I need help leaving my abusive in law's home

beanphone · 01/08/2022 12:51

@MyBrilliantFriend I think you're right in that situation it's about consent

I started to haemorrhage 20 hours after giving birth due to left in placenta. I remember it so well. Between the pain, the screams, the look on my DPs face as he held my newborn hoping he'd see me again ... and the doctors asking me to verbally consent to the lifesaving surgery I was about to have and potential of a hysterectomy. I couldn't speak but I could hear. I had no pain relief and all that was coming out was wailing (noises I hadn't made in labour!) and they 'couldn't' take me until I explicitly said I consented. I don't even know if they realised I'd turned non verbal. They were waving forms in my face too and I'm thinking to myself get me to the fucking operating theatre now I'm slowly dying

Itsincidental · 01/08/2022 13:04

I agree with PP, I think it's not that they want you to diagnose yourself, but want to know what your thoughts are so that they can address any worries.

And "what would you like me to do?" is an important question imho. A person might have gone to the GP with depression and really want antidepressants. Or they might want talking therapy, or both. If the doctor knows what the person actually wants, then they can provide it ( or explain why it's not advised, if it isn't).

bridgetjonesmassivepants · 01/08/2022 13:09

Asking the patient what they think the problem is or asking them what outcome they'd like is called patient centered medicine and is seen as the gold standard. It's meant to make the patient feel listened to and respected. This is how doctors are trained to talk to patients in a consultation.

Obviously though sometimes you just want the doctor to diagnose you and fix whatever the issue is.

easyday · 01/08/2022 13:09

That's the way it's always been surely? Unless you are there for a vaccination or exam. They say: how can I help you? Or : what seems to be the problem? Or: why are you here today?
Then you say: I think I have a uti or I have an ear infection or I don't like the look of this mole or I have this rash ...
Many people may have googled something and say: I think I have a blah blah blah.

Reallybadidea · 01/08/2022 13:11

I once answered that I was concerned that ds had tonsillitis and needed antibiotics and the doctor did the little laugh and said "almost certainly not". She did have the grace to apologise once she looked in his mouth though!

JosephineGH · 01/08/2022 13:15

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

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