‘When are you having another baby? I hope it’s soon’

[Goodnewsday]

How to tactfully say f* off to this question without saying it? It’s so far from anyone’s business but I feel like since my little one has turned one it’s all I keep getting asked. He’s still a baby! 🤦🏼‍♀️ my MIL does absolutely nothing to help out with our 1 year old but was saying she hoped it was soon the other day. It made me feel like some sort of baby producing machine who has just to grow babies to show to her for a 5 minute novelty. We were lucky not to have any issues last time but I know SO many people going through miscarriages etc, so it’s such an uncomfortable question to ask anyone when you have no idea what’s going on in someone’s life. How can I bat this question away next time she brings it up?

Most people are just being polite, trying to say something they think you are interested in. They won't care when you are having another baby so I wouldn't worry about it.

That's intrusive and annoying.
I'm saying that as someone who has a 13 month gap. I would never comment on anyone's childcare planning or anything fertility related ever.

Could you say 'thats so strange. Can you not just enjoy the baby we have ? '

Or what difference does it make ?

I suppose there's no point being rude. She might be just making small talk

@Hoolahulahoop oh she is very intrusive about everything 🙈 had something to say about the fact I had a c-section last time too! Again, not your business. Saying something about enjoying the one we have is a good one

My MIL does this. "Why aren't you having a third?"
"Hyperemesis wiped me out and I don't want to do it again. I literally nearly died."
"Kate Middleton had three and she had hyperemesis. You just need to pull your socks up."
"Kate Middleton possibly had nannies to watch her children 24/7 and cleaners to sort her house out while she puked her hole for another 3 months."
"Well you could get a cleaner."
"It's not happening."
"But don't you worry about not having enough?"
I mean what does she want me to say? Yes, it's heartbreaking, but it is what it is so STFU silly woman. If she really thinks it's so easy she should have had more kids so she'd have a better chance of more grandkids!

@PeekabooAtTheZoo totally! She only had one child (my husband) so I was tempted to ask when she’s having another 😂 It’s so insensitive, I just always think imagine you’d literally had a miscarriage that week and someone asked you that or even when I was trying to conceive last time it completely consumes you so someone asking that in the middle of it I wouldn’t have been able to hide my reaction I don’t think. Maybe do something with the grandchild. I already got you 🙄😂

I have 4 and still get asked if I’m having any more, it’s just something people say

How many people are "hoping it's soon"? It's a very odd thing for anyone to say, let alone multiple people.

I got asked on the way home from the delivery unit/hospital FFS.

There were no survivors.

I got asked on the postpartum ward literally a few hours after birthing dc2!

It's rude, it's intrusive and it's grossly insensitive. However loads of people apparently think it's OK.

"i don't really want to discuss my sex life with you"

@Whataretheodds 😂👏🏼

@Anothernamechangeplease It is! My friend got asked it all the time, often when I was there, especially because I had a baby already and they’d do the ‘when are you having one?’ Thin. She’d had 4 miscarriages and I used to have to try and help deflect the question but why do people think it’s their business 🤦🏼‍♀️

"You need to start helping with the first one before we consider any more!"