Child not wanting to play at friends house

[Peonypetalperfume]

How would you handle this. My 7 year old has been invited to play at their school friend’s house but doesn’t want to go. There are a couple of reasons, the friend wouldn’t share their toys and let my child play on the swings, slide etc. apparently the mum was smirking whilst this happened and didn’t try and help the situation. I think I would try and encourage my child to go if it was just this issue, but also the parent apologised when I collected due to a shouting argument that had gone on between the parents whilst my child was there. I want my child to retain a friendship with this child but they just don’t want to go round and play. Should I go with their wishes or try a bit more encouragement? To be honest, I would feel the same. We try not to argue as the parents, I get it happens of course but not whilst looking after someone else’s child surely?

I wouldn’t send them. They have made it clear they don’t want to go. Based on what you have written their reasons are valid. Keep them home

Child refusing to share toys is a bit meh, but adults fighting that your child witnessing, no I wouldn't make her go back. I grew up with warring parents and I wouldn't wish it on anyone

Your child has said how they feel. I don't understand why you would force your child into something that makes them feel uncomfortable.

I wouldn't go or send my kids where they didn't share toys and the mum smirked! How rude! What was it? A session where the kids could show their house and flaunt their toys etc but no touching?! Plus the parents arguing in front of the kids is also a big no no

Please don't force your child to go if they feel uncomfortable. I think most adults would probably feel uncomfortable in the same situation!

No I wouldn't agree to a play date at this child's house

It sounds like the child doesn't share and will exclude your DS a bit when he is on his own home ground - and you can't trust his parents to

Also parents who can't control their behaviour and end up shouting at each other- when they have other DCs around are not parents I would trust with my child

So just say no. The children can be friends and play together at school

You never have to agree to a play date - despite the invite- if you don't feel it's right for your child. On top of that your boy doesn't want to go!
That alone is reason enough to say no . For DS to say he doesn't want to go, speaks volumes - as usually DCs Jump at chance at play dates to spend time outside school with their friends!!

Encourage DD to play with other friends at school and arrange play dates with those who you and DS feel confident with

Sorry didn't finish sentence in second paragraph
*And you can't trust his parents to intervene ..

Why aren't you listening to your dc?

Why on earth would you want encourage your child to go ?! They sound really horrible.

I wouldn't send my kids anywhere they felt uncomfortable.

Why are you so desperate for your child to go to this person's house? They said no 🤷🏻‍♀️
Weird...

Listen to your child, they are open and honest with you. If you override them and their feelings now they won’t tell you big stuff in the future or when they feel unsafe.
why do you wan them to retain a friendship??

Athe friend wouldn’t share their toys and let my child play on the swings, slide etc. apparently the mum was smirking whilst this happened and didn’t try and help the situation. I think I would try and encourage my child to go if it was just this issue
🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I agree with PP

This is good enough reason alone not to agree to play dates at this child's house
Nor at yours!

You don't have to facilitate friendships for DD that a. He doesn't want and b, aren't healthy let alone c. d and e reasons..,

Zero chance I would send my DCs in a play date with bossy DCs who exclude my child and bully them

Would you like to go round if they’re going to fight and not let you use anything in their house while smirking about it? Your child is right and their instinct to stay away should be acted on (and tell them well done). This is how you teach them to stay safe as they grow.

How would you handle this.

My 7 year old has been invited to play at their school friend’s house but doesn’t want to go.

I would respect their choice not to go.

If my child didn't want to go I wouldn't take them.

Listen to your child.

If it is just this one friend's house they don't want to go to, I would accept their preference.

If they were unwilling to go friends houses in general, I would encourage them and work with the other parents to help overcome the anxiety (eg short playdates, me being close by etc). But in this case it seems a wise decision anyway.

That's a good point
@TheYearOfSmallThings

It sounds like it is just this child

As said before your DC can decide who they want to go to for play dates and if the friend isn't kind and the mother doesn't support them when there to intervene, your DC is calling it exactly right. So big fat "thanks for the invite but we have to decline" response