I fantasise about running away.

[ColinRobinsonsfamiliar]

And living in a tiny cottage where I go to a job I enjoy each day and come home and my tiny cottage is just as I left it, clean, neat, tidy, comfy and full of my things that love in the colours that I like.
Where I don’t have to make decisions about what everyone is having for tea, and the pile of laundry that needs doing and cleaning the kitchen after people and not tripping up over the pile of shoes at the back door when I bring in the washing that I swear, I put into the shoe box an hour ago.
may grass in my garden is green and lush and not bald and hammered from football, my plant pots are upright, not knocked over or smashed by a football.
Where I can invite people for lunch and they will have somewhere to sit and I won’t have to spend 2 days cleaning before anyone can come round and even then, within an hour it’s a shit hole again where people follow me making a mess.

I only fantasise about this every now and again. Today is one of those days.

Mostly, I just crack on. Today I’m having a bad day. I’m going to go for a walk.

@mosex that is perfect!

I hear you OP, I’m glad it’s not just me.

Sounds like you need structure and routine as a family to keep the house manageable and they need to play their part. There is seriously no need for the kids to leave toys about, unless they are toddlers. They should clean after themselves.

The football thing, well personally o would dedicate a section of the garden for that and then have your own place maybe (depending on the size)

I have just booked a weekend away for myself and I CANNOT WAIT! I have told my dh that I will text him when I arrive and then my phone is going off. Two nights of bliss and spa treatments!! Much needed!! Could you do similar @ColinRobinsonsfamiliar

Yes, during peak stepmother and stressed husband years. I got an allotment with a shed. And a greenhouse at home and gradually reclaimed bits of the garden.

it wasn’t a messy house but it didn’t feel like mine.

now they are grown up I rather miss it.

Oh and I used to go away for work and take an extra day or two, or visit friends who lived away,

My DH and boys do loads round the house but I still have this fantasy- was especially strong during lockdown - I have a very specific village in mind!

Yes. Mine is a sparse, empty old farmhouse that I gradually restore – sleeping on a single cast iron bed, my possessions in a single dresser, washing in a tin bath, the rest of the building empty of toys, clothes, decor, clutter, decisions, STUFF. Perhaps there would be some chickens that always laid, and a few acres to tend that got just the right amount of rain. Breakfast would be a simple step out of the door for an egg. Undyed linen would be involved, and bare feet. (Can’t have bare feet in my house because of THE FUCKING LEGO.) I would never ever ever have to have an all-team Zoom call about new ways of working. I might not even have the internet.

I go away myself every year. This year it was ten days in Sicily. It's mainly to stop me goi got jail as living with teenagers makes me want to do something I shouldn't. I am hoping that this feeling goes away when they do. But I would recommend going somewhere yourself. It's like a battery recharge.

We all have this don't we? On a bad day, we dream of running away to (what we think would be) our happy place.
My friend and I have a joke that we're going to run away one day, we have it all planned! I know she's had a bad day when she sends me a screenshot of the flight times. It gets you through doesn't it.
But in reality, I don't think any life is perfect, not even the one you describe op.

Are you me?!😂

Surrounded by males too. It feels relentless cleaning all the time.

I couldn't ever bear going away alone for a short break, because you had to return to all that fucking mess again and it instantly felt as if it was for nothing. It was never worth it. I had to do something permanent (separate and live alone) before I became a missing person or something more drastic. I wasn't prepared to sacrifice myself any more.

Perfect is never a reality though, is it. We don't want perfection. Just that everything in life is relative and this is a very attractive option. There is always only so far that something (someone) can bend until they snap.

Why are you letting your families treat you like this? Do you have a partner? If so, I wonder if you they also feel the same?
You are allowed to have a life even when you’re a parent. Can you get a break away? Or another adult (dad) take the kids away for a few days?

I have the same thought, often. House full of males, half not my responsibility. But as is typical of being female I'm the only one who cleans up. Because no one else actually gives a fudge and would happily live in squalor. My little DD keeps me smiling, mostly. And I have long term plans. But for now just the same daydream.

I have just been to visit 2 friends camping in a woodland site. We are all mothers aged 45-55 and they go away for a few nights sometimes together, sometimes alone. I was surprised at how many middle-aged women were there alone with little tents, crochet or reading. Internet really poor and about 30 mins drive from home. It felt like another world and I could really see the appeal. It's a cheap way to escape temporarily.

I feel exactly like this almost daily! It's the endless drudgery of rubbing a house, being the main decision maker, carrying the mental load. It's exhausting and depressing. Peri menopausal too- must be a stage of life, once kids are almost grown up, marriage is in a rut etc . I try to do something every day just for ME- even it is just walking the dog !

Ahhhh you lovely lot!

I’ve cunningly managed to wrangle 3 days on my own away.
I’ve got books. Yes, paper books to sit in a comfy chair and read. There will be silence and cleanliness and my own thoughts in my head so I can breath.
As previous poster said, I shall wear no shoes as there will be no Lego or debris on the floor 😊

I love my lot, I do, I love them but I’m an antisocial introvert.
I crave silence and order and you get neither when you have wild boys.
Its good to fantasise every now and again.

Same. My teen had already started with school refusal meltdowns despite 4 weeks to go. I've woken up to a messy house as she was up until 4am. I have work so can't even tidy up. I'd take unpaid parental leave from work in Sept for a week if I didn't think it would put my role at risk.

Yes, absolutely this. I am burnt out by parenting, and my DC are too young to leave so in the school holidays they are with me 24/7 except when I am at work (before anyone asks, their other parent died so can’t help). I am so tired of deciding what to make for dinner and cooking it every single day, of DC who can’t put their own rubbish in the bin unless I get mad and shout about it, of vacuuming and the carpet immediately being sprinkled with crumbs and cat fur, of the moaning that there is nothing they want for lunch/ a snack/ breakfast when I ask every time I shop what they want. Right, moan over, I am going to hang the washing out and start packing because we are going on holiday tomorrow so I can be responsible for everything in a different place for a couple of days (and hopefully we will have a lovely time too).

Yes me too. I said this to my DH a few weeks ago but he doesn’t really get it and thinks it would be weird to go away without each other 🙄 not sure why. I said plenty of couples do separate holidays as well as together but he would be mega upset if I went off without him I think. Probably coz he’d have to think/make decisions for himself.

I am also an introvert and can easily spend time alone, listening to music/reading etc whereas he’d find that too boring.

My house isn’t too messy but it’s the constant responsibility of everything that I’m fed up with.

I will join you in your fantasy 😂

I fantasise about buying a campervan, converting it to my exact taste and going to france for a few months just me and DD.

It might even be doable in a couple of years, so that helps.

Can you book a cottage away for a week for yourself?

I did run away from my kids once - they were maybe about 14 and 11 and simply would NOT stop endlessly sort of mock fighting, which made the dog bark her head off non stop. After fruitlessly pleading with them to PLEASE stop! and give me some peace, I packed an overnight bag and drove for 2 hours to a friend I hadn’t seen for ages.
Should add that dh was away for work!

I arrived on friend’s doorstep saying ‘I’ve run away from my kids - can I stay the night?’
Had a brilliant, peaceful evening! With plenty of 🍷.

How old are your dc? Sounds like you and dh need to train them better to tidy up after themselves and do some chores.

Enjoy your break!

I have just been to visit 2 friends camping in a woodland site. We are all mothers aged 45-55 and they go away for a few nights sometimes together, sometimes alone. I was surprised at how many middle-aged women were there alone with little tents, crochet or reading. Internet really poor and about 30 mins drive from home. It felt like another world and I could really see the appeal. It's a cheap way to escape temporarily.

I'm working on purchasing some land (locally) so I can go there whenever I like (with dh looking after dc at home). This and a few other things in mind re. use of the land.