What sort of man did you marry as a single mum? Feeling like I will never find anyone!

[Beru]

How old were you when you met them and how old was your DC?
Do they treat your DC like their own?
Are they dedicated and solvent?! (I ask as I have a nice home and want a partner not a lodger!)
Do you feel like a proper family?

I cannot imagine meeting anyone let alone anyone who would love my one DC and build a life together. It seems absolutely impossible and I’m 37 next week.

I met DH when my two were toddlers. No involvement from my ex at all.

He is their Dad in every way except biology. Very steady, solvent, great job. Very hands on with them and our shared child. We have a great sex life and he’s my best friend.

We’ve been together for 15 years with never a cross word which took some getting used to after an abusive short first marriage.

It’s not common, I don’t think, but it is definitely possible. Have hope (and high standards!)

An absolute diamond.

We met in the workplace, I was early thirties, had two very young kids and absolutely no intention of starting a new relationship. He was (is!) very good looking, with a big personality and he just won me over.

He was hard working and ambitious, which of course I knew because we were at the same company. He has been the absolute best step dad to the kids, gets along well with their dad, my ex. Married now for 14 years and we went on to have a child together as well. Very happy, and the man is ageing like a fine wine.

How long have you been separated OP? It took me at least 3 years to start to feel ready and decide that my one requirement was someone who is kind. And he's amazing and dedicated and financially solvent too. We met when DD was 5 and he's so amazing

@BrokenToy @bbqhulahoop where did you find them?!

we haven’t been together for 3 years. I’m quite lonely but enjoy my work. Just always wanted that family set up I guess. I’m based in a small town, is that the issue perhaps? More people in the city? I work in a city but only in once a week.

A kind one!

DC was 5, I’d been single since they were a baby. I was 37 when we met, 38 when we married and had another DC, just had our third (age 41).

He treats all three the same. I knew when he offered to go halves on the babysitter when we had our early dates 😍

We met on Elite Singles. I was against online dating. He was my first date from it!

An amazing one! We met on an app.

He treats DS like his own, he actually does his 50/50 on the house care and childcare. He's kind and funny. Has a great job and is good with money. He's a loving and involved father to all three boys.

I just assumed I'd stay single forever when XH left me pregnant. Turns out nope.

@Livingmagicallyagain he sounds lovely!

do you think it’s where I’m living?! It’s quite remote and I travel an hour and a half to the city once a week for work. I could meet people there but don’t have lots of time, more over lunch etc

DH is lovely. He’s funny, kind, steady, very clever and I love spending time with him. We’ve been together nearly 30 years, married 22 years. DD was 10 months old when we met, he adopted her after we married. They have a great relationship-she’s even gone into his field professionally.

We met on a blind date. My friend still takes all the credit for setting us up. 😀

Online dating! Found a few frogs first though

You don't need a man to be a "proper family".
13yrs lone parent here.

You don't need a man to be a "proper family".
13yrs lone parent here.

I met my DP 5 years ago but we don't and won;t live together until my tween kids are grown up and gone. For me, we are a family unit and I am not interested in blending or step families, and neither is he. It works for us, I like my autonomy and control and it means that the relationship is just that, MY relationship - it isn't a "package deal" and doesn't have to be.

A divorced dad of adult kids.

Well you don't get married for a start! Puts your assets at risk.

But yes found a good one online dating. Solvent, steady, loves the DC. I set very high standards and didn't compromise.

I have no desire to get married ever again or cohabit with a man full time. Possibly part time if we were suitable. I have my own home and enjoy my independence. Furthermore I do not expect a man to parent my son since he has his own dad who.he sees. Plus I have always given my son plenty of my time as I have always worked part time. So he is perfectly sufficiently parented as things stand.

Fair @Lightning020

As a widowed parent, I have always had to work at least 80 percent and my kids only had 1 parent. So I'm glad someone else now exists to given them attention

DS was two when I met my husband, three when we got together, he's 14 now. DH treats DS like he is his own son, they are far closer than DS is to his dad because he's made an effort. Of course he has his faults, don't we all, but he's an amazing man. And yes he's solvent and not lazy! He didn't have any children of his own either and we can't have a child together.

This is a great success story my ex fiancé also left while I was pregnant and when my baby is older and I start dating I will try to manifest this!

I met DH when my DC1 was 8 and DH was 28. He didn't have any dc of his own. I became single when I was pg so I'd been a single mum for 8 years. We dated for 18m before DH ever met DC1 - I've never wanted to confuse DC1 by introducing them to lots of men so they'd never met any other boyfriends. We continued to date but I wasn't ready for marriage until we'd been in a relationship for 5 years. We got married when DC1 was 14. We have 2 more DC now. DH doesn't behave like a Dad to DC1 and he doesn't treat them the same, as DC1 is an adult now so it wouldn't make sense. But everything is fair and we cover the cost of family needs from our joint income.