Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Trigger warning: sexual assault. Could anyone tell me what would likely happen if this was reported to the police?

19 replies

MariBear · 31/07/2022 10:14

I'm not here for the drama so please, no judgement etc just looking for advice if you have any idea about what would happen if I went to the police about this. What, if anything, they would do etc. Thanks.
I was in a bar with some friends. I was at the bar buying a drink. Random stranger offered to buy me a drink. I declined. I don't think I was rude to him. My group all left and went separate ways. It wasnt late, just after 10pm. I was tipsy after a few drinks but not completely drunk. Random stranger follows me. I was walking to catch a bus home. He tried to engage in conversation. I kept walking. He then grabbed me and pushed me up against a wall, put his hand up my dress and put his fingers inside me.

OP posts:
ReluctantCourier · 31/07/2022 10:19

OP that’s a fairly serious sexual assault and I think you should report it regardless of the outcome. Are you ok?

Choppies · 31/07/2022 10:20

so sorry you had to experience that - hope you are okay :(

I think it’s best reported as often with these kind of offences there is a pattern of behaviour. In a bar there will likely be CCTV of his face too. I wouldn’t get my hopes up of the police doing much but can really help if it’s a repeat offender. So even if the assault portion wasn’t on CCTV your report coupled with a similar one could really hold weight.

BerylBird · 31/07/2022 10:21

Well that's definitely sexual assault - so you should defiantly report it. So sorry it happened to you.
The problem would be identifying him and proving that he did what you said, and without your consent. If there is CCTV in the street, that of course would be a level of evidence - but you can see why so many of these kinds of crimes aren't reported or solved.
I don't know, but CCTV in the bar itself might allow him to be identified if he paid by card?

choolaboola · 31/07/2022 10:22

I think you should most certainly report it, regardless of outcome. He could be doing this regularly and it's completely sexual assault and against the law.

I hope you are ok.

ReluctantCourier · 31/07/2022 10:22

It’s worth reporting as he may have done similar to others and could highlight a trend

SwimmingOnEggshells · 31/07/2022 10:23

Please go to the police. I know it will be difficult to talk to them, but you need to in case he does it again - or worse.

Take care of yourself 💐

AlphaAlpha · 31/07/2022 10:24

Of course you should report it, and it will be taken very seriously.
He has digitally raped you (used his fingers)

If you've not showered or bathed yet - don't. If you consent to a physical examination they could swab you for DNA.
Also, take any underwear you were wearing.

So sorry this has happened to you, but please report ASAP.

TheLoftHatch · 31/07/2022 10:29

Please, if you can, report it. It's quite possible this is a person escalating their behaviour and he will most probably go on to do it to more women (all the while escalating in violence). You have been sexually assaulted and you need all the support and care you can get, not to mention giving the police the opportunity to find this man.

If you start to feel negative emotions too, then chat to your GP to get some mental health support. I wish you well! Let's hope they catch him.

HollowTalk · 31/07/2022 10:30

What a horrible experience. Please do report it if you feel able to.

Januarytoes · 31/07/2022 10:45

I once reported a similar thing OP. The police caught the man and found he was out on parole after being in prison for a similar offence. Because he re-offended and I reported it, he went back to prison.

I felt silly about going to the police.. they wrote everything down and I didn't hear back for ages.
A woman police officer called me a long time after to tell me what had happened, that they hadn't called me back as he had admitted to it so they didnt need me to identify him. And then the legal process had taken some time.
I stopped someone else getting assaulted

Later in my life I was raped and I was not able to report it as too upsetting. I am still upset by it.

If you are able OP please report it. When you look back you will at least know you did the best you could after the fact.

Im sorry this has happened to you.

igivein · 31/07/2022 10:52

This is a sexual assault as per the Sexual Offences Act (2003), specifically assault by penetration.
It carries exactly the same penalty as rape and should be taken very seriously by the police.
Please try and report it if you are able.

WudYouSayItInRealLife · 31/07/2022 10:56

It would be really helpful to report this if you feel able. There will be CCTV and the sooner you report it the better. You could have a chat with someone from one of the charities who deal with rape if that would help.

legosunqueen · 31/07/2022 11:03

Sorry that this happened to you, it must have been frightening. It's a serious sexual assault, please report it Flowers

LilyMarshall · 31/07/2022 11:05

MariBear · 31/07/2022 10:14

I'm not here for the drama so please, no judgement etc just looking for advice if you have any idea about what would happen if I went to the police about this. What, if anything, they would do etc. Thanks.
I was in a bar with some friends. I was at the bar buying a drink. Random stranger offered to buy me a drink. I declined. I don't think I was rude to him. My group all left and went separate ways. It wasnt late, just after 10pm. I was tipsy after a few drinks but not completely drunk. Random stranger follows me. I was walking to catch a bus home. He tried to engage in conversation. I kept walking. He then grabbed me and pushed me up against a wall, put his hand up my dress and put his fingers inside me.

The police will be able to get the cctv from the bar.

Witchofthedales · 31/07/2022 11:05

You MUST report this, you were sexually assaulted, I hope you are okay, OP, good luck 💐

WombaMaPonga · 31/07/2022 11:13

Please report it if you can. Thinking of you @MariBear Flowers

Rainbows89 · 31/07/2022 11:16

OP I’m so sorry this happened to you.

It’s 100% sexual assault.

But, as the person it happened to, you get to decide whether you report it or not.

One option would be to call a Rape crisis centre (just google for your local one) and they can offer you support and talk your through your options.

bluegardenflowers · 31/07/2022 11:19

Of course report it its a sexual assault. Also inform the bar of an incident (no details) and ask them to hold the recording of inside the bar and outside as the police will be getting in touch. The police take this sort of thing seriously. In fact I would have reported it immediately as there may have been DNA left on your body. Dont wash your clothes, bag them and leave for the police. Also don't wash (probably too late but thats what should happen).

Blue4YOU · 31/07/2022 11:20

You poor woman. Can you contact your local SARC ? They can look after you, talk to you and guide you through the initial stages. I’ve reported assault to the police. They were very good

New posts on this thread. Refresh page