Marriage Proposal?

[HarmlessPotato]

Hey Everyone.

Is it strange to propose to your partner if you currently don't live together?

I want to propose to my partner but we don't currently live together. We've been together a number of years and are currently looking to buy a property. We get on ridiculously well - I can genuinely say I've never had such an easy going relationship. We date, go to various events, spent alot of quality time together. We currently each have our own properties, however for various reasons each of our properties wouldn't be suitable for the other to move into permanently, although my partner does stay with me alot, for longish periods of time. Long term my house just wouldn't be suitable and she co-owns with a family member.
I don't want to go back to renting again even if it is only temporarily because we are already looking for a property to buy (we keep missing out with how the market is right now - we need to buy a bungalow or a property that can be extended/adapted). I've already got an offer in for mine and she is being bought out by her sister. I also don't particularly like her sister so don't fancy moving in there temporarily.

We've spoke about the future alot, including marriage. We have a special date coming up and I want to propose to her on that date in a few weeks, I've got this plan in my head and it just feels completely right but someone who doesn't know my intentions put this niggling thought in my head that it would be odd to propose without living together.

My thinking is if we are engaged we aren't going to be rushing to get married like the following week or whatever. We need to sort house and then we can focus on the other stuff. So we will be living together engaged, hopefully by the end of year, potentially planning a wedding.

Am I now overthrowing this?
What are all your thoughts?

Sorry that was meant to say overthinking this.

You are definitely overthinking this and maybe it’s important to ask yourself why you are doubting yourself on this?

You say you don't particulaly like her sister, but does she get on with her sister? Presumably that's the relative she's currently living with? If they don't get on then you not liking the sister doesn't sound like a problem. However, if they are close and its just you who doesn't ike her then I would be more cautious about proposing. Complicated family relationships really affect a partnership unless the couple are firmly on the same page...

Also, have you talked about marriage before?

I don't think the not living together necessarily matters, but personally I'd want to have at least discussed the idea of getting married one day and have any family issues settled before getting engaged to anyone.

Sorry just realized I skipped the paragraph where you said you talked a lot about marriage

Sorry just realized I skipped the paragraph where you said you talked a lot about marriage

If you want to propose then propose. There are no rules. The right time is when you feel it is right. Just do it, if that's what you want to do.

No. My partner doesn't get on with her sister at all. Bit sad really as they were once really close but there was an issue with the house after some work and rather than taking the problem up with the builder - the sister blamed my partner.
The sister also messed her around for a couple of thousand pound that was owed to my partner. It's never really recovered, they barely talk now. She really is a spoilt brat. I'm not even joking when I say their mum still goes there to change the sisters bed and do the sisters washing. The sister is 35! She genuinely just isn't a very nice person. She's never wrong, she has an answer for everything, even if it's the most ridiculous answer that makes no sense.

@PinaColadaSunset
I'm abit paranoid about jinxing it. I've never proposed before. I'm also not a fan of rejection. Lol. But before even reading these few reply I have started putting things into action. Booking things ready! 😁😁

My thoughts are:

What’s the hurry?

You don’t know someone nearly as well seeing them only for “quality time” as you do when you live with them and see them for all the shit bits as well.

I’m not a romantic 🤷‍♀️

I don't think you need to have lived together. You've seen how she lives, how she runs her home. She's seen how you run yours. My advice is: if this person is messy or lazy around the home then it will probably get worse if children come along and you don't arrange for extra help in the home.