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Partners health kick, should I be made to feel guilty for snacking??

6 replies

User52637274 · 30/07/2022 18:51

please no re posts anywhere, had a few things posted by newspapers and I am sick of having to change my UN constantly recently.

Hi all, basically Dp has recently been for a health check. He is 44. He is very slim (11 stone) doesn't drink or smoke at all but his diet isn't great. He's weakness is pastries, cakes, thick slices of cheese, thick spreads of butter on bread, lots of Mayo with chips and adding salt to stuff!! He likes fizzy drinks too. None of this stuff is what I regularly eat, my weakness is more chocolate and portion sizes!

His BP is a bit high, as is his cholesterol - nothing too high but needs to be monitored and reduced obviously. He doesn't need to lose weight obviously. He eats at night just before bed too which I don't as would be sick in the night if I did the same. I don't eat late.

I am certainly bigger than him. I've never been naturally skinny and was up and down for a while after having our two kids. I have now reached a comfortable weight, I've stayed at the same weight for a couple years, my diet isn't the best, but not the worst either. I had some blood tests back along and mine were pretty good. I admit it would still be good for me to eat healthier, maybe lose a stone but I'm at a point my weight has stabilised without too much effort and I'm happy and comfortable.

Dp has gone from one extreme to another. He's literally cut out everything, I feel that he could still become healthier without starving himself of everything, as above he doesn't need to lose any weight, his bmi is very good.

he wants me to do the same. I admit that I could be healthier and lose another stone or so but as above I'm not putting much effort in to maintain my weight at the minute. I used to binge eat but I do not anymore. I am happy.

Dp isn't fussed on my weight and never has been big or small but wants me to be fully supportive eating all this super healthy food, with no treats. I'm up for healthier meals for sure, but cutting out snacking will be a challenge for me.

the irony is all those times I was trying to lose weight (the key for me was to stop the binge eating) he still ate everything as normal as he was skinny and didn't need to. But now I'm expected to?

dp really isn't pressurising in general and I think this has come from shock and he honestly thought his meant weight he was really healthy but it's not always the case.

I don't feel he should be starving himself of everything. He just needs to cut down and eat everything in moderation rather than eating a whole 4 pack of doughnuts. He tends to eat small meals, lots of snacks whereas I prefer bigger meals, I still snack but a smaller quantity and not so much cake or pastries.

we both need to make improvements but my MH is at an all time low at the minute. Being strict with myself (I've been too strict with food in the past) will not help things at all. I don't want to be giving too much thought to what I'm eating!

he's driving me mad. Yesterday he had one slice of toast all day until tea time!! This is not healthy for him as he gets up early and needs energy. He's gone from one extreme to another.

OP posts:
ImAvingOops · 30/07/2022 19:07

Remind him of how unsupportive he was when you were trying to diet!
I think it's good to eat healthy meals but if you fancy a snack then that's your business. He's unlikely to stick to this anyway if he goes too extreme all at once - mind he doesn't try to blame you if he can't do it !

Id probably compromise on having a snack but not mainlining chocolate on front of him.

ImAvingOops · 30/07/2022 19:10

Also toast is total crap. He needs meat/fish/green veg/eggs - food that is real and filling. Cut right down on the ultra processed and sugary and he will be fine.

35965a · 30/07/2022 19:11

“If you want to just have a slice of toast all day go ahead but I’ll eat what I want, thanks” and repeat

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User52637274 · 30/07/2022 19:15

ImAvingOops · 30/07/2022 19:07

Remind him of how unsupportive he was when you were trying to diet!
I think it's good to eat healthy meals but if you fancy a snack then that's your business. He's unlikely to stick to this anyway if he goes too extreme all at once - mind he doesn't try to blame you if he can't do it !

Id probably compromise on having a snack but not mainlining chocolate on front of him.

He doesn't even like chocolate much so I thought it would be okay, it's been a long week and I wanted a treat 😅 thank you!

OP posts:
User52637274 · 30/07/2022 19:19

ImAvingOops · 30/07/2022 19:10

Also toast is total crap. He needs meat/fish/green veg/eggs - food that is real and filling. Cut right down on the ultra processed and sugary and he will be fine.

100 % I think this is all new to him so he's a bit stuck in a rut at the minute.

he likes meat (lean now of course) and fish so shouldn't be an issue. We've had fish for dinner tonight. Does need to eat more veg (he eats fruit quite a bit anyway). We love poached eggs anyway and have them a lot but I feel the guidance on eggs isn't clear though? Some places just say 3 a week!

he drinks a lot of tea and coffee too. Yes with semi skimmed and coffee with coffee mate which isn't ideal! He has no sugar in his hot drinks but is a fan of the fizzy drinks. I've just bought him some no added sugar squash to try (better than fizzy for sure) and some sparkling water to compensate the fizzines.

OP posts:
User52637274 · 30/07/2022 19:24

His downfalls are thinks I don't really eat! Plus he eats quite late in the evening which I never do so I don't think I'm being too unsupportive at all!

I have already for a food shop booked with lots of healthy meal ideas.

he's guilty of going to work and nipping to Tesco for a pastry or sausage roll for breakfast. But he's bought Alpen to take to work with some milk (which is better than a pastry).

he loves bacon and stuff too but I've told him he can still have it for a treat sometimes but to grill it instead of frying!

He was told his level was 5.7. I really don't know what this means. Was told more than they would like but not too bad? Anyone enlighten Me??

OP posts:
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