Does anyone have any CF guest stories?

EinsteinaGogo · 2022-07-30T17:16:47+00:00

I'm having a hungover day, there is no decent crap food in, and CF guest stories are my favourites 😎 I'm trying to think of some of my own but we pretty much don't have overnight guests any more.

Confusedpossibly · 30/07/2022 18:42

We had a guest who found some change under the sofa seats when looking for keys, then exclaimed “ohh, x amount of pounds” and KEPT IT 😂

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 30/07/2022 18:44

A Canadian cousin (male, 50 ish) who I’d never met before stayed for 10 nights. I took him all over. London and elsewhere to see the sights - he never once put his hand in his pocket for anything. He got a dd (20 odd years younger) to go with him on a pub crawl and only eventually bought a round after she’d paid for two - and then only because she said ‘Your turn.’

After he left there was not so much as an email to say thanks for having him.

LunaLemon · 30/07/2022 18:52

I know two totally unrelated people - both Australian - who have bought tickets to England and informed friends they are coming to stay on X dates WITHOUT CHECKING BEFOREHAND.

From Australia. They bought tickets all the way from Australia without asking if the dates suited, if the hosts were going to be away etc!

LunaLemon · 30/07/2022 18:53

I mean I know OF two people who did that

Peoniesandcream · 30/07/2022 19:39

My "d"F came round not long after I had ds empty handed, late. When I got the pizza out the oven for myself she said she would have to steal a slice! I literally gave her one slice and ate the rest. Another Friend visited, asked to go to the shop with DP and came back with a half eaten pack of doughnuts. I was fat and breastfeeding 😅

Original poster

EinsteinaGogo · 30/07/2022 20:12

Confusedpossibly · 30/07/2022 18:42

We had a guest who found some change under the sofa seats when looking for keys, then exclaimed “ohh, x amount of pounds” and KEPT IT 😂

OMG.

What did you say?

OP posts:

Stillsmartiesaftereight · 30/07/2022 20:18

NC for this. Long standing but decidedly eccentric friend that I hadn’t seen for over two years came to visit. Won’t go into details but she is definitely ND with condition she takes some serious meds for. We are used to allowing for a lot of her social differences.

That said, this time we had to go way off our pay grade. She arrived with a scratchy throat, but thought nothing of it, and we chatted on into the night, though I did notice her asking for extra covers as she was cold. The next night she started to throw up. When I saw blood, I got scared and took her to A&E, where we spent six hours, to be told by the hapless youngster on duty that there was nothing seriously amiss and we should be discharged. (NHS of course; we had Doogie Howser while Dr Doolittle was dealing with the fighting animals round the corner). I have never felt so useless in my life.

She started to perk up when we got back, and over the next day DH told me quietly to get her on a train home, where for some reason she was reluctant to go. I felt really mean encouraging her to use a local hotel, but we were due to go away that weekend and she had already overstayed by several days.

In the event, we never made it. Friend messaged me from the hotel to let me know she had Covid. DH caught it and DS caught it. We had to wash bedclothes, bleach loos, sterilise bedrooms and replace a mattress. Does this make her a CF? I don’t know, but LFTs were still free at the time so I reckon she should have tested before visiting.

I am never having her overnight again.

Clymene · 30/07/2022 20:22

You replaced a mattress because someone had Covid? or because she'd ruined it in some way? @Stillsmartiesaftereight

When I was sharing a flat in London in my 20s, one of my friends was working as a tour guide for one of those expedition type companies. She wanted to leave a huge pile of bags in the corner of my bedroom and come and sleep in our living room for a week or so every 4 or 5 weeks when she was between tours. She was most put out when I told her that wasn't going to be possible

4intheCorner · 30/07/2022 20:31

Planned to go away for 4 nights and neighbour had previously offered to feed cats so DH popped next door to ask if they would mind feeding cats. Neighbours lodgers answered and agreed to feed cats. All good.

Planned to leave after work, but had to pop home first. Turned up to find camping equipment and lodgers stuff in garden. We were very confused so nipped over to neighbours to find out what was going on.

Turned out neighbour was having guests, and asked lodgers to leave for the duration. It just so happened we had asked lodgers to feed cats at the same time. Their plan was to live in our house while we were away without our knowledge 😲.

Until they agreed to feed cats they had planned to wild camp somewhere. We took pity on them and allowed them to stay. Cue mad rushing around to clean house, change bed sheets etc for our unexpected guests.

SpaceJamtart · 30/07/2022 20:40

After a works hang out at my flat, a woman who I didn't know particularly well asked to stay over because she had drank too much to drive, I said she was welcome to the sofa and left her with a duvet and a pillow.

She invited her boyfriend round after I had gone to bed and I woke up to them having sex on my kitchen table.
They were both naked when I walked in wondering what the noise was and he wiped his knob on my tea-towel.

whyohehy · 30/07/2022 20:40

A friend of my flatmate stayed on our lounge floor for months and never once offered to pay a thing or help with the household. I was kind and never said a word.

Same flat as above - when I decided to move out I had to take my name off most of the bills as I'd handled a lot of them (plus did most shit in that flat). My flatmates who I got on fine with suddenly went mental at me for telling them that I had to swap out names on bills. No one wanted the responsibility of being a real adult it seemed so I just told all the companies that they can work out a name but that I had left. Honestly it was such an unreal situation.

Gossipxox · 30/07/2022 20:47

SpaceJamtart · 30/07/2022 20:40

After a works hang out at my flat, a woman who I didn't know particularly well asked to stay over because she had drank too much to drive, I said she was welcome to the sofa and left her with a duvet and a pillow.

She invited her boyfriend round after I had gone to bed and I woke up to them having sex on my kitchen table.
They were both naked when I walked in wondering what the noise was and he wiped his knob on my tea-towel.

omg🫣

I would have went ballistic!! And made them leave!

Fuckitydoodah · 30/07/2022 20:51

A young relative from Canada came to stay with my parents whilst he was in the UK. He was about 23 and none of us had seen him since he was 10. He ended up staying about 2 months. He didn't lift a finger, contributed no money to food, never bought a round of drinks if taken out, he couldn't drive and had to have lifts everywhere and the worst was when he arranged a Tinder hook up one night when my parents were out. Got caught trying to sneak her out at about 6am. They live really rural too, so she'd had to drive quite a way.

SpaceJamtart · 30/07/2022 20:54

@Gossipxox
I told him to take her home, if he could drive to my house he could drive her away from it.
I made him take the tea towel with him.

She sort of laughed it off and I never mentioned it- just thought she was gross and rude

Mammma91 · 30/07/2022 20:55

I am 😱at some of these! We once had a guest whilst I was heavily pregnant who tried to insist she needed the bed (we were in a 1 bedroom flat preparing to move after baby was born) and said she would sleep next to DP but ‘not to worry as nothing would happen’. She put it simply that I was uncomfortable and won’t sleep much anyway so it didn’t matter where I slept.
She ended up not staying and I shouted at her.

Pudmyboy · 30/07/2022 20:58

4intheCorner · 30/07/2022 20:31

Planned to go away for 4 nights and neighbour had previously offered to feed cats so DH popped next door to ask if they would mind feeding cats. Neighbours lodgers answered and agreed to feed cats. All good.

Planned to leave after work, but had to pop home first. Turned up to find camping equipment and lodgers stuff in garden. We were very confused so nipped over to neighbours to find out what was going on.

Turned out neighbour was having guests, and asked lodgers to leave for the duration. It just so happened we had asked lodgers to feed cats at the same time. Their plan was to live in our house while we were away without our knowledge 😲.

Until they agreed to feed cats they had planned to wild camp somewhere. We took pity on them and allowed them to stay. Cue mad rushing around to clean house, change bed sheets etc for our unexpected guests.

To me, your neighbours were CF to expect their lodger to make alternative arrangements to accommodate their guests, expecting them to move out of somewhere I presume they consider home!

Hadalifeonce · 30/07/2022 21:13

A cousin coming from abroad asked if she could stay for a couple of days until she could move into a flat in London (I assumed this was all arranged) When she arrived, she had a friend with her. I thought it's just a couple of days.
They did their own washing, despite me telling them to use the tumble dryer overnight as electricity was cheaper then, they kept draping wet clothes over radiators, staining wallpaper.
They did nothing else, no contribution costs or cooking.
After 3 weeks I told them they had to leave, they both seemed hurt and disappointed.
They said they would pay something to cover some costs, needless to say I didn't see a penny.

Wombat27A · 30/07/2022 21:17

We said to a French Canadian girl working in a hotel we stayed at for a week that if she was ever in the city we lived in that she should pop in & say hi. She did and stayed for 3 months plus moved her boyfriend in without actually asking. Took up smoking and sent him out to cook for her. Turns out he'd only just met her. We eventually paid her to leave, she went to work in a hotel in the Highlands and I think we ended up fetching her back from there as she hated it.

Jeez, typing this has reminded me how batshit this sounds and it really was that bad...

jiskoot · 30/07/2022 21:19

My sister, her husband and my two neices. I live in a relatively nice part of the country, lots of touristy things to do, they came to stay for a week. Did not leave the house, spent most of the time sprawled on our only sofa, watching tv, eating all our food and then had the audacity to ask for more food 'for the road' to save them having to buy food for the kids on the way home. I literally had nothing left. They'd gone through all the extra food I'd bought, plus my cupboard stores and the extras I'd gone out for during the week. I said no. Barely got a thank you when they left.

They keep hinting at coming back again next month. Nope

yesterdaysbread · 30/07/2022 21:23

DHs cousin came to stay for some days. One morning DH, DS and I were in the lounge together watching tv and chatting. She came in with her laptop, said hi then parked herself on the floor in front of the TV and started following a Pilates video on YouTube. The noise and the leg lifting in front of tv screen were very distracting. Bizarre

Takeitonthechin · 30/07/2022 21:23

We had 'friends' come around they stayed for 5 hours 😫.... other half was WFH, they stay sooooo long, I hate it

Danikm151 · 30/07/2022 21:24

@Wombat27A you paid her to leave?
was she the guilt trip queen?

Wombat27A · 30/07/2022 21:38

Danikm151 · 30/07/2022 21:24

@Wombat27A you paid her to leave?
was she the guilt trip queen?

I have no idea what we were thinking.

It was a good few years ago. I could have done with MN then...

OceanbreezeSun · 30/07/2022 21:44

One of our old next door neighbours used to empty his cat litter tray into our bin - he didn’t even put it in a bag first, just poured the stinky poo and wee mess straight in.
The first time, I didn’t say anything, thought it was a one off, let it slide… the next time it happened, I knocked on his door and asked him not to do it again, said it’s disgusting, smells, why can’t you use your on bin etc. (his bin wasn’t even full, he couldn’t give me a proper reason)
The 3rd time, I was angry & told my dh about it, who promptly went round and gave him an earful. Funnily enough, he never did it again.

Changechangychange · 30/07/2022 22:01

Wow some of these are mental.

we had two sisters over for dinner, and after dinner they started arguing about something (no idea what, both quite drunk and it was something family-related).

One of them flounced out of our flat, slamming the door behind her.

Unfortunately for her, our communal front door has a deadlock, so you can’t get out without a key.

Even more unfortunately, the lightswitch for the hallway is inside our flat (bad Victorian conversion).

So she had locked herself in our small communal hallway, in the pitch black, by herself.

DH and I realised that, and started giggling. Her sister had no idea what we were laughing about. The locked-out friend was too angry to lose face by coming back upstairs and asking to be let out, so she sat there in furious silence for about 20 mins until we took pity on her and went to release her.