Not a great relationship with my mum right now

[Abbiewilliams96]

Me and my partner currently rent one of my mothers properties. But I feel like my relationship with my mum is not great at the moment. We have a 6 year old son and due baby no2 in 4 weeks. I feel like we get no privacy at all, my mum has her own key obviously she would but she comes in everyday whenever she feels like
it. She constantly criticises where I keep things,
how I organise things and tries to re arrange my things to how she would have them at her house , goes through our letter drawer and throws things out without asking if we need them. Whatever furniture I buy is rubbish to her, she keeps telling me I have to many dining chairs at my table I’ve heard the same thing now for the past 4 months. I say I like my things how they are it’s not messy at all everything is clean and tidy. And then she always states that it’s her house and that is always used against us with everything to try and get us to keep our stuff how she would.
she comes to the house everyday single day at the same time 3:30 and takes my son up my nans house and brings him back at 5:30. Even my son is starting to say I don’t want to go up today again we went yesterday. I feel like we get no time as a little family. The only day we don’t see my mum and nan is a Saturday and now my mum is even asking to take him out on a Saturday too. Saturday is the only day we get to go out as a little family and plus my in laws like to see their grandson too. My partner is getting really fed of it. We’re due our second baby in 4 weeks and have told family that we would like just the first day for just us a family to have some time with our baby. My in laws have said of course it’s your special time and when your ready for visitors let us know. But my mother and nan have not respected this and said they will be down as soon as we’re home. My mum has said it’s her house and can come whenever she wants. Has anyone experienced something similar to my situation? X

Change the locks if you need to but standard LL rules apply here.

No way should she be letting herself in! LL need to give 24h notice of visits minimum and should limit these to necessary visits.

I'd certainly get internal locks for the doors (chains/bolts) to prevent her accessing the property while you're home at least but you need to be having an unequivocal conversation and laying down some new ground rules.

Not acceptable . You need to sit down and calmly work out with your Mum something you are happy with. You need space and privacy. It will annoy you more when the baby comes!
She needs to have some boundaries clearly laid out. It may be her house but you are tenants, any other landlord would not be able to wander in freely.
Have a look online for some tenancy agreements and see if you can put together something that meets your needs. Ultimately she needs to understand she is being unreasonable and overbearing.

Oh dear, this is out of order & must be suffocating.

She may own the house but it is your home.

Next time you’re over at hers, try sorting out her cutlery drawer, saucepan cupboard! See how she likes it. I’d hope she takes the hint.

Can you ask your DP parents to visit you so that when she comes over she’ll feel like a bump on a log & intrusive?

Would you feel able to change the locks? It’s a bit drastic & in reality, as your landlord she should have keys, (for emergencies) but she is usurping all the usual landlord rules so you, as a tenant, could usurp the tenant rules and change locks without recourse to her.

You could be devious, get locks changed & say there’s only keys for you & DP & be very very slow at getting extras cut?

You could at least put a chain on the door! You say “Not today Mummy” as she pushes open the door & gets stopped in her tracks!

Tenancy rules are that you are “entitled to the quiet enjoyment of your home” so everything you describe is tantamount to interference, control and utter rudeness.

Can your DP have a word with her & Nan? Head of the household & all that!

Good luck with your confinement & new baby.