I know the answer is going to be it’s none of my business and it’s her life. Which it is but I just feel sad for my friend
We have been friends for 10 years, she is my best mate and we have been through thick and thin together. She has had boyfriends through the years and there’s always been some kind of drama, she has a very fiery temper but on the whole she just didn’t meet the right man
Anyway. she met her DF (I’ll cal him Max) last January on a night out. He was living with his parents (he’s divorced with 2 kids, he was in the process of buying a house but dropped out of the sale and moved in with my friend who I’ll call Gail). There’s been SO many things that have happened but to summon up a few:
-Introduced his kids to her 1 week after meeting (his ex wife hit the roof)
- dropped out of his house move and moved in with Gail after 6 weeks
- she has a 2 bed house, the spare bedroom is her wardrobe, refuses to make it into a proper bedroom for when the kids come so they sleep on blow up beds, plenty of room for bunk beds but she has made it clear it is her house
- got engaged after 12 weeks. Booked the wedding for a year away. Kid free wedding, she told him this included his own children which he said was fine (kids are now coming to the wedding)
- numerous drunken fights, they’ve split up more times than I can count
- she received an anonymous message to say he had cheated on her
- going on drink binges and not coming home for 2 nights
- she has told him she wants him to reduce his time with his children as she finds them too much hard work, he did not accept this so instead whenever the kids come to the house she moves out and stays with her parent
- he makes 0’effort with any of her friends or family, her dad cried last week and told her she deserves better
- he is terrible with money and has a lot of debt
- he is very jealous and possessive, the first time I met him he tried to fight my husband as he saw my husband give Gail a hug (hadn’t seen her in ages because of covid) and thought he was trying it on
- his friends don’t like Gail and think she is taking him away from their group
the wedding is in September, they had a huge argument this weekend over something trivial and again the wedding was called off. Her mum was upset on the phone, her sister has now said she’s not coming to the wedding and the other bridesmaid has said she cannot come either now. She is making a huge mistake, the relationship is toxic for everyone involved. She can’t stand his kids who are school age, after she tried to ban them from the wedding but eventually said they could come she’s now said they have got to be picked up straight after the meal. Max has agreed to this which in itself is a red flag.
I truly don’t know what’s she’s playing at. She is god mother to many of
our friends kids including one of my own and she has never been nothing but lovely and kind yet the kids just seem to piss her off. I told her this weekend that they cannot get married if this is what life is going to be like, that they need serious counselling and to take a step back. She agreed with me
bht this morning has sent yet another message to say everything is fine now and we are back to normal? I could shake her, she is not the person I have known and loved for 10 years. I think she got swept away with the whole
wedding thing and now that’s all she can focus on.
At this point I don’t want to go to the wedding or have any more discussions about him. We had the hen aboard 3 weeks ago, the grooms name wasn’t mentioned once which surely shows how much everyone there despises him. It’s such a mess and she is making the biggest mistake of her life but there is literally nothing I can do but stand back and wait for it all to implode.