Give up or plough on?

[Tinfoilmushroom]

Sigh. Driving test coming up 10th August.

Help me decide what to do. Somehow get my mojo back, or just give up for now.

Started my lessons last year when pregnant. Took a break to have baby and recently started lessons again. I've gone from super confident to the exact opposite. I am just so tired and my mind is elsewhere since giving birth 6 months ago.

I have paid for next 9 hours of lessons but instructor reckons I will need a further 11 hours, at £50 per hour 😭...am I throwing good money after bad?

I am dreading my lesson today, I just cannot be arsed. I feel under so much pressure. We would like to move out of the city but we can't until I learn to drive. The pressure is giving me headaches.
All that extra money on more lessons is really getting me down. Ive already done 23 hkurs (spread out soncd November last year)

I feel like I'm going to fail.

But I've already spent so much money and time on this, if I give up now I will only have to spend more time and money in the future. Everything I've learned recently will be forgotten and I'll have to start from scratch.

My husband will support me in whatever decision I make but he thinks I can do it, that I'm just low in confidence. But how do I get the confidence back???

I don't know what to do.

Why have you never ever reversed before when you are 2 weeks away from test??!! Does that mean you have never done a maneouvres eg revers park, parallel park, 3 point turn etc?? Cos they take a while to master!
2 weeks out from your test you should just be practicing already known skills and just perfecting them not learning from scratch.

He just keeps making me do the same shit over and over. I mean I'm driving, I am able to navigate busy London roads, roundabouts, junctions, crossings, duel carriageways, I do a major A road every lesson at 50 mph. Yet I haven't even attempted parallel parking, and reversed the first time now.

I don't even know if I can change at this point. My husband reckons this guy is just trying to make money out of me. In the meantime my confidence is being dented every lesson.

I asked him at the end of the lesson if any of my skills had improved and he didn't say anything just looked at me with a raised eyebrow and a stupid grin.

I told him I would struggle to pay for loads more lessons and he didn't answer.

I have another lesson tomorrow

I've done none of these things

I've emailed the driving company let's see what they come back with

You need a new instructor!!!

Mine told me 40 hours is about average and had me reversing from about hour 10!

You've done 23 hours of lessons and never reversed?! Your instructor is crap.

Fucking hell I wish I knew this 15 hours of lessons ago!! He keeps saying I'm not improving but honestly I am doing the same shit over and over and not making any significant mistakes. Maybe he is nervous because I am.not confident in myself? But he isn't helping with his words...he said my driving took a nose dive after I gave birth. He hasn't given me any encouragement that I'm getting better and when I know I've done well he says nothing.

Let's see what the company comes back with

Keep at it!

You might never enjoy driving but it's a good skill. You can be good at something without enjoying it.

23 hours isn't that much. 30 plus is more average.
Keep going!

I didn't realise you only have 2 weeks to test! Deffo complain to the company and change instructor. Its years since I learned but as soon as I could handle the controls, we did driving and slow manoevring as part of every lesson. The amount of each depended on what needed practice and if anything new was being added. Even more I would say keep going though becuase it sounds as though a big part of your struggle is your instructor.

I have 18 hours left of lessons paid for and he wants me to do an extra 11, at £50 per hour.

I've so far done no maneuvering whatsoever.

It sounds horrible but I can't understand a lot of what he is saying as he has a very thick accent. I am too polite to keep asking what he's said and usually when driving things happen too quickly to ask him to repeat himself.

I have a lesson tomorrow at 6pm. I have had zero sleep tonight as I'm so stressed out about it. I can't afford to do all these extra lessons, especially with him. It's throwing good money after bad. Do I cancel tomorrow's lesson?? Amd I also have one on Saturday and Sunday.

The company send an email in reply to mine saying they will take up to 2 working days to respond. I will try calling them tomorrow but they are pretty crap tbh

Go online and watch the videos of the test routes. Then get your instructor : Dh to take you to those places. I watched 4 for ds1, realised that there were 4 or 5 roundabouts or traffic lights that they invariably tested. Took ds to all of them in 1 hour on a quiet Sunday afternoon. That made a huge difference because he knew what to expect. Passed!

Jesus, just read updates. Tell him you want a refund on what you've paid. Hire someone new. You are nowhere near ready yet.

You have a 6 mth old baby OP, you must be tired out, I don’t think I would have had the right headspace to learn to drive having such a you baby, If I were you I would put learning to drive on hold for a couple of years.

Oh for an edit button!

This is the main part of my email. Should I add anything when I speak to them today?

"My test is booked for 10th August. I do not feel at all prepared. I haven't once done a maneuver. No reverse or parallel parking or 3 point turns etc. I've only been asked to reverse once. My instructor isn't giving me any constructive feedback during or after my lessons. Each lesson is the same...driving around the test centre. I know how to do this and believe I should have been practicing maneuvers a while ago. I have lost confidence in my learning experience and indeed my instructor.
I am reluctant to say this but I also struggle to understand some of what he says due to his thick accent. Instead of pushing on with practicing maneuvers I am being urged to buy more lessons (11 hours and almost £40 an hour) which I can't afford.

I am very disappointed in the way my lessons have gone and have lost faith in the teaching.

Are you able to help? Can we postpone the test and cancel my lessons with my instructor? Book a new test and hire a new instructor? I have 20.hours left and I would like to do them with a new instructor. My next lesson is today, I am going to cancel it but I don't want to lose the 2 hours I paid for."

Keep going!
The test is a piece of piss compared to a long driving lesson. I was doing 2-3 hour lessons towards the end. Then the test is like 30 mins? It was so easy really.

I think you're going to need more than 11 hours if you are feeling this way.

I learnt when I was pregnant at 38 and passed when I was 7 months. I am so grateful to have my freedom now and be able take my daughter places and be able to live a little more rurally than I would be able to if I hadn't of passed. Driving comes into its own when you are a busy mum. Do it for your child if nothing else.

And get an automatic. Ideally with reversing cameras!

Good luck, sure you will smash it!

I spoke to the driving company and they are going to put the test date back a couple of months (for a fee of £30!) And try to find me a new instructor. They said they might not be able to, and in that case they would refund me the lessons I've paid for and I'd have to find my own instructor...

I feel so much better. The stress and pressure I was under was awful. So glad I don't have to see that man again and hopefully my new instructor will be better.

In the meantime I am going to get myself a little automatic on finance so I can practice with my husband.

I'm glad to hear you're not giving up, OP. Pardon the pun, but I think your now ex-instructor was taking you for a ride, destroying your faith in your own abilities in the process. Getting a new instructor, and your own car, will boost your confidence.

Please do come back and let us know how you get on.

That's really excellent news. Being so quick to say they will change your instructor or refund what you have paid says to me that this is not the first complaint they have had about him. Onward and Upward!

Thank you both

And yes to being taken for a ride 🤣 I just wish I'd posted about this sooner and got all your brilliant advice and thoughts. I knew something wasn't right but as usual blamed myself...well no more!

Interesting point about then being quick to change things or offer a refund. It wouldn't surprise me if he'd been complained about before. I am 100% convinced he just wanted to get extra cash out of me.

Looking back it seems obvious the things he was saying was designed to put me down "your driving has taken a nose dive since you gave birth" was one of the things he said. Yes my confidence was low because lack of sleep but my driving wasn't that bad!!

Only quickly read through your posts but I was taken for a ride by my instructor too. He kept me doing the same old shit lesson after lesson. No improvement and making comments that dragged me down. He even had me filling in his diary for him when he'd take over driving if he felt I wasn't doing what he wanted. I was around 20 so should have been able to stand up for myself but I was too meek and mild. He rinsed me for so many lessons and about 5 tests. I gave up in the end and he had a go at me for prioritising buying a house over paying him to do nothing.

I didn't start again for at least 10 years. The instructor was so different and amazing at working out what I needed. He said I was a fantastic driver for someone who hadn't driven for over 10yrs and that's what I needed to hear. I had 2hr lessons once or twice a week depending on what I could fit in. Didn't take me long to be test ready and he was willing to go over and over certain manoeuvres I worried too much about.

Sadly I still hate driving though. Lockdown and 2 pregnancies have meant I haven't needed to drive much so I'm selling my old banger and won't buy again unless I really have to.

I know it's hard to get driving instructors these days but you really have to get rid of the one who is fleecing you.

Ugh why are there people in the world like this...shower of shits

I'm glad you finally did it, I hope my next instructor is as good as your second one!!