I’m so very sorry OP, and yes your life would have been different if the abuse hadn’t happened. Your low self esteem will have been a direct result of the abuse.
That’s a very extended period of time for abuse to occur and it will have affected your entire childhood. No child should have to experience something so horrific. It is no surprise you didn’t tell anyone - abusers groom their targets so they feel it is their secret to carry, their shame, their fault. And a child doesn’t have the perspective or maturity to know any different or process what’s happening. And so you reach adulthood with a difference to the people around you, damaged and feeling “set apart”.
Your DH’s muted reaction is unhelpful, perhaps he didn’t fully understand what you were telling him or perhaps he was so shocked he didn’t know how to respond or perhaps he felt it is ancient history and you’ve dealt with it. In any event you needed something better from him, and I’m sorry about that too.
I don’t think you ever fully deal with it but you can step back through what happened and apply your adult brain and emotion to it all, and that helps - but you need professional help to do it effectively (in my opinion). NAPAC.org is a charity supporting adults who experienced child abuse, they have a free helpline. I haven’t used them but if I was starting out finding support, that’s how I’d start nowadays. It’s tragic that it is necessary but thankfully there is a lot more awareness these days, and so you can find support out there.
Please don’t let your DH stop you from seeking help, you can answer a lot of questions about your life and live the rest of it feeling a measure of relief from the burden you’ve carried with you all this time.
good luck, sending you a big hug.