Feeling down

[purpleme12]

Feeling so down about my child.
She's been having behaviour problems, mainly these outbursts that she can't control for some months. She's 8. I have been in contact with school who have referred her for to see if it's autism based on the behaviour at home.
They organised 3 sessions with an NHS person to help her manage her emotions (which has done nothing)
If anything it would be adhd I think?
But I don't know is it?
Maybe it's my fault.
Maybe I'm a shit mummy.
I'm so upset by it all. I don't understand why it happens, why she's like this.
It must be my fault mustn't it?
I want her to help me tidy the house tomorrow how do I word this so she listens and doesn't resist? Cos sometimes that's all it will take for her to go off on one.
Is it my fault?

It's not your fault. It could be asd.
When a child with asd has to spend the majority of their day holding in their frustration with the world it comes out when they are home around people who make them feel safe being themselves. She knows you love her and accept her whatever so can express her frustration freely. Look up 'behaviour as communication' as that might help you see things differently, she's trying to communicate with you and the only way she knows how is this behaviour.