Can someone give me a grip? Passage of time.

[whiteroseredrose]

My wonderful, wicked, mother in law, my partner in crime, can't remember that we went to visit her in Spain a few weeks ago. I can now climb a hill faster than my DF, and DDog died at the end of February.

I'm so sad about the passage of time. It feels like the best years were 10 years ago. I'm actually feeling very tearful. Can someone please pass me a grip?

I've had this constantly throughout my adulthood.

My father, who was so bright, so strong, survived landing a plane in his first solo flight and the landing gear failed, survived a shark attack whilst deep sea diving, survived a hurricane on a small island, survived being a reporter during civil unrest, now expresses fear and vulnerability.

My Mum, lost her parents at a young age, disowned by the wider family, raised to be "a wife" and nothing else, left her abusive marriage with nothing and no one, learned how to work, keep a budget, keep us fed, keep a roof over our head, now struggles to manage stairs.

My grandparents, all long gone, survived so many events, but now they're memories.

And someday all of those who've gone before us will go before us. It's mind boggling to me that it's both current and past in my mind.

Ah those lyrics are some of the few that have the power to really make me sob. Like you said, so incredibly deep.

Also, @whiteroseredrose like pp said, you don’t need a grip.

Loss is difficult. (((Hugs)))

For me it was the moment my dad handed me a jar to open. He was always big strong dad, barrel chested, tough as old boots, could build or fix anything. But now he's in his 80s and he needs me to open his marmalade for him.

My therapist said to me, that everyone in our lives will leave us somehow. That has really stuck with me

A big thank you to everyone. Sometimes these things can overwhelm us and it's nice to be able to support one another.

DH has pointed out that the future may hold great joys too. Retirement, travel, grandchildren... who knows.

Excellent advice.
OP I've been mentally composing a similar post for months. The phrase 'existential dread' has parked itself in my head.
How old are you?

I had these feelings when younger. I don't even think about it now I am nearly 70. I hope that is some comfort to you all. I was constantly thinking how much time I had left in my 40's especially. I sometimes felt quite panicky. The feeling relented in my 50's. Maybe nature conspires to make you not think about the end when it is closer. DH and I are quite matter of fact about it (down sizing, moving nearer to amenities) but not sad.

MIL left us last week at a grand old age. At the funeral directors on Monday, SIL said "I suppose we've got to be the grownups now". Made me quite thoughtful.

Actually, the grownups are actually our children, who have been berating our housework, IT skills, mapreading etc. for at least a decade now. My older niece runs eight figure projects, her sister does niche educational stuff for the worried wealthy, and DD does Terrifying Northern Matriarch straight out of Last of the Summer Wine.

It must be a week for it. I had a bad day on monday about the same thing.

Carpe fucking diem.

I feel for you OP. You're sad at the moment and you know why. Nothing in that indicates a loss of grip

Dropped youngest at an indoor sports club. My eldest teen also came along in the car with for a ride. There is always alot going on in the field. High energy music and either dancing type keep fit classes or circuits on the field.

I just commented on 'maybe we should get involved in some fun exercise classes ...he was horrified.

He said...this is wired it's full of old people. So many old people doing exercise 🤣🤣

I announced they were prob 35-50 . He said exactly "old" lol

I’ve been the oldest in my family since I was 33. 😃 It was sobering knowing that.

The hardest thing about getting older is the losses on the way. I have just two elderly relatives left, lost my wonderful, MIL, who was better than a mum to me last year. Lost a good friend in March.

My two DS’s have now grown up, DS1 is away with his lovely girlfriend this weekend. I will miss him, one less plate of the table at dinner feels so strange, I will probably take four plates out of the cupboard by mistake, just an automatic thing to do.

Life changes, but it takes some getting used too, when all you can see is your world shrinking.

The realisation of passage of time is one of the worst things about getting older. When you’re young you think everyone will be with you forever

@Saucery It can swallow you up if you let it, so I just allow myself 10 mins or so of exploring that feeling, then make myself do something else

You’re a wise woman.