Do you feel 'successful'?

[ariesalien]

Just that really.

Career-wise, academically in terms of qualifications or in any other way - do you generally feel successful?

I always have, but today I've smacked into a major brick wall and on the brink of losing what would've been my breakthrough opportunity and I feel utterly unsuccessful. Not sure if I'm being too hard on myself - just curious to see what percentage does feel successful.

In some ways I do - academically a high flyer and I have a good job with a nice salary and prospects.

BUT I grew up wanting to live in a ‘nice’ house and by that I just mean a 4 bed detached on a leafy street (not a mansion) and that dream just seems to be getting further away. I think until I’m in the ‘forever home’ I’ll feel something is missing.

Thats just how I feel - I know other people wouldn’t care and see others things as a marker of success. OTOH I don’t care about clothes or cars whatsoever!

No, grew up on a council estate with no money, crap schools etc.

encouraged to get a job asap rather than continuing in education so I could pay board money.

I only have what I’ve got now due to dh being successful

A mixture of yes and no. I'm missing two key elements, but other than that I've got everything I want. Based on the hand I was dealt (childhood abuse etc) I think I'm extremely successful just for holding it together and feeling happy most of the time.

Sort of, but I'm content, so it's all perception.

Mostly yes - two lovely DC, DH who I sometimes want to kill but mostly have a great time with, nice house, decent job, respected in my field. But the most successful people in my field earn a lot more and at times I feel like I have sold myself short because I'm not pursuing one of those better paid jobs. I have to constantly remind myself that I made and am continuing to make a conscious decision to take a job that would allow me to spend lots of time with family. As DH reminds me, if I want to chase the money job I could do that once the DC are older or have left home.

Wait. It is darkest before dawn. Often we have setbacks but let the force of your will make success inevitable and natural. Take multiple steps to get closer to your goal, see setbacks as a learning experience and move forward with ever more confidence.

I’ve had some really amazing opportunities- mostly because I made them, worked hard, was humble and enjoyed the journey. To me, my life is filled with joy, success, interest and never ending opportunities. To others, they might not necessarily see that as success but I have freedom to work or not when I want doing jobs I love for good money and new opportunities thrown at me daily.

It’s all about belief. If you want a door to open, twist the handle.

Such a positive message and i can see feel you are so full of life.

Head up, I got knocked back for a similar job to I have now just over a year ago. It wasn't my favourite area but it would have been a promotion. 12 months later I got the job I really wanted. We also lost out on what we thought was the dream house at the same time, the month after I got the job we moved into our project which is turning out to be the best decisions as everything is exactly what we want not a compromise.

What I'm trying to say is everything happens for a reason, what might seem perfect right now can also be beaten.

Thank you! You are very kind. I know someone very successful and I’ve noticed they have faced huge setbacks, never complained, focused on other things until they are ready to try again and they seem to grow more successful by the month. Their willpower and self belief is incredible.

I could've done more but I'm happy with what I've got. I've got a job, good husband, two kids, nice house (not nice area) and we all have our health. The bills are paid every month and we have a bit left over for nice days out.

Yeah, I think I do - but that's new and came belatedly and still feels vulnerable. It's not the job, although I have finally got to a decent place with work and the start of a niche of my own which felt very important to me. It's having a house I love and am starting to feel has the right stuff in it, gorgeous kids and relationships I can build on and give time to.

As a kid I looked at one of my aunts with envy because they had their own business and just seemed to live a happy warm inclusive and slightly scruffy life. It was my dream and I feel broadly successful because I'm closer to that than I have been before. And I really struggled and got lumps knocked off me in my twenties and thirties.

On paper I probably don’t seem particularly successful, but I feel I am. A lot depends on your family/peers, if you’re comparing. In MN terms I may not have achieved much. But I grew up in a deprived area with abusive parents, so didn’t have a great start. I had my first child in my teens, then another in early 20’s. Not at all unusual where I was from, No one I knew had been to Uni, or even done A levels for that matter. I went to Uni, got a good job. DS also has a degree and DD will be starting one in September. We have a lovely home in a nice area, rented from a HA, but I have the old lifetime tenancy! So no housing worries. I’ve come a long way from where I started so I see that as success.

No but I am on the spectrum and struggle to work too many hours on health grounds. Though I am 60 next year so I think many of us are past their peak by this age.. So my income is quite low. I have no mortgage however and my overheads are quite low so I can live relatively cheap.

I do in terms of personal goals. My main goal in life was that I wouldn't go to bed at night worrying about bills.... that's all I want..to be happy and comfortable with my family and not worrying about costs etc
I don't need to be hugely successful in my career in terms of position, although I'm very happy in my current role.

I have taken a bit of a career break to dedicate more time to the kids so whilst I know I my career would be furthered had not done this, I'm not phased.

I feel like a complete and utterly failure.

I'm disabled and mentally ill. I worked and got my qualifications (Eatly years educator) for as long as I possibly could but had to quit two and a half years ago. My health has taken a real dip, and my son is now a young carer, and my mum is my carer. (She can't be here all of the time, although she is here every day, it's just when she goes home poor DS1 has to take over caring for me, getting me drinks and making food for himself and his siblings, making sure the alarm is pressed should I fall, babysitting the little 2 until someone else can take over if I do have to go to hospital.
He doesn't begrudge doing any of this but it can't be easy on him)
My mental health took a nosedive too, straight into the gutter.
So no I don't feel successful.
I used to. When I was working and gained my qualifications, I had everything. A job I loved, 3 amazing children, a partner I thought would always stand by me. (He left when I had to quit work. So much for standing by me)
Now I feel like I've failed at life, I've failed my DC, I've failed myself.

I think it's very difficult these days to match academic success and career success with material success. Houses make money faster than most people whatever they do.