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Original poster

What do yo do of an evening with teens in the house?

32 replies

Mooboo3 · 25/07/2022 22:08

What do you do of an evening? Now the teens are no longer cute and snuggly toddlers.
I cook, we eat in front of tv since lockdown, not good I know but I’ve run out of things to talk about.
dd 17 is usually out, ds may watch tv if it’s stranger things otherwise he legs it upstairs to play computers. Dh watches tv and will go to bed about 8.30.
I clean up.
I can’t help feeling there’s more to evenings than this.
what do you do?

OP posts:
UWhatNow · 25/07/2022 22:40

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mamaduckbone · 25/07/2022 22:45

@UWhatNow I would second that but am only just starting to realise this as ds2 has turned 13. I don't want to watch endless reruns of whatever box set he's into right now, and ds1 is either out or in his room doing god knows what...so I can go for a run, read a book, potter in the garden...I'm gradually adjusting to not needing to be in whatever room ds is in. I work full time so have always had the mindset of spending time together in the evenings when I'm home, but he doesn't need that now so nor do I!

IAmSantaOhYesIAm · 25/07/2022 22:45

We’ve always eaten at the table bar an odd pizza/movie night. I find it’s a good opportunity to chat and catch up and as they’re eating teens will spend that time with you.
Teens naturally get quite anti-parent unless it involves food, lifts or spending money on them. Use the evenings as a time to rediscover who you are outside of being a mum.

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VerbalIyIntensed · 25/07/2022 22:47

We've been watching a series together that we all enjoy and that sparks conversation and debate. I'm sure it will go back to more of a passing ships in the night situation after we reach the end of the series, but it's been fun. Sometimes we order takeaway or eat special desserts that the teens made earlier in the day.

But yes, you need your own hobbies too, op.

Original poster
Mooboo3 · 25/07/2022 22:56

Thanks all! Glad it’s not just me. We do watch stranger things together, and have the odd pizza night so I’m glad I’m doing that bit right.
I’m often knackered by evening so no energy to go to yoga etc. so it sounds ok if I go read a book.. just that this house feels so gloomy and I don’t know why.

OP posts:
Watchthesunrise · 25/07/2022 23:09

Schlep them around to sports training, music, friends' houses...

Nintendoswitchedoff · 25/07/2022 23:13

God mine aren't even teenagers and DH and I take it in turns to go out lots in the evenings doing our own thing. Time for you to start doing that too OP.

If you want time together as a family, how about a walk together after dinner? Or a family meal out? But TBH with teenagers, I can't see them being that keen. Mine are still the age I can force them to join me!

easyday · 25/07/2022 23:14

My daughter and I watch a bit of tv, chat, talk about plans for the next day. My 18 year old I text a few times to catch up with his day (he lives on his own). That's about it. My daughter usually goes up about 9-9.30 I walk the dogs then go up about midnight and read.
Your evenings sound perfectly normal.

EspeciallyDeIighted · 25/07/2022 23:23

We all go out a lot, partly driving them to their various sports clubs and partly doing our own things (sports, socialising and in my case an allotment). When we're at home we scatter around the house a bit but the teens don't spend much time in their rooms, typically one will be in the front room watching telly with DH, the other might be in the garden or in the kitchen with me. We don't always eat together as we are out so much but we do spend a lot of time in the kitchen and on the patio together.

JustJeans · 25/07/2022 23:35

Tonight was fairly typical. DC1, myself and DH had been at work all day, DC2 had didn't the day gaming or asleep.
5-7: Me and kids watched telly and had a chat while DH worked in the office. We all had a sandwich and a brew.
7pm: dc1 went to bed, dc2 went the gym while DH and I watched a film and had a snack
10pm: DC1 got up for a snack, then back to bed. Dc2 came home and started cooking, DH & I went to bed.

Sometimes we have a meal or do an activity together, but mostly it's a variation of the above.

Baycitystroller · 25/07/2022 23:39

Kids stay on their rooms. DH watches TV. I walk the dogs, go to the gym of meet a friend

Original poster
Mooboo3 · 28/07/2022 07:04

Thank you! This is reassuring to know! It looks like I need to get out more 😀

OP posts:
Festoonlights · 28/07/2022 08:02

In the summer we play garden games and Bowles etc and eat outside together when it’s sunny.
In the winter and term time we are usually doing homework and preparing for school, kids read from 9.45pm.
We watch things like Hunted and Catfish together but teens prefer to watch their own thing too. In the winter we light a fire have marshmallows and talk about life.
Some nights every one does their own thing. Kids might go out for a run. We don’t do everything together all of the time anymore, we have space to do whatever we want. Some nights together, some nights teens will chat to friends and enjoy some space/down time.
We play board games sometimes but they give me lockdown vibes now so we need to buy some new ones for this autumn!
Its relaxed here, and everyone can pop in and out of family room and do as they please.

knackeredagain · 28/07/2022 08:05

My house is the same as yours OP. I think of it as a nice thing that we eat tea and watch TV together. Often I go for a swim after tea, or just watch telly on my own for an hour or so.
We don’t really socialise together much, but their dad comes on a Friday to pick the younger one up and we tend to all have a brew together, so that’s one little bonus in the week. It’s pretty limited!

HauntingScream · 28/07/2022 09:57

We do the same as you but we eat at the table and then watch tv so it takes longer.
I'm watching Breaking Bad for the second time with my teens, we watched Walking Dead too.

Original poster
Mooboo3 · 30/07/2022 08:16

Wow, festoonlights I want to visit your house! Marshmallow and fires and boules sounds lovely.
last night we made pizza and watched stranger things together so that was nice. Dh joined in too instead of flopping on the sofa watching tv, which made a real difference to the family vibe, and took some pressure off me.
we got into bad habits of not sitting at the table in lockdown, I might try and bring it back occasionally.
hauntingscream thanks for the telly tip! We liked Alex rider, not scary, and dd like train to Busan, all of us are dead ( too scary!)

OP posts:
UmbaRumba · 30/07/2022 08:22

Get some structure so at least you all eat together and chat
Then relish the freedom 😁

LoveMuscle · 30/07/2022 08:43

We usually eat together then DC's go to their rooms or out , H to his tele room and I'll either watch tele or go to gym or have a bath

Northernsoullover · 30/07/2022 08:45

We eat together and that's it. I'm getting my own life back now and I'm so happy. My teens are great and I relish their company but we all have our own interests now.

Original poster
Mooboo3 · 02/08/2022 23:38

Thank you all! I’ve been casually putting dinner on the table on the odd night and am hoping to increase it. For some reason they accept that pasta is eaten at the table! So will just make more pasta. You are right though, it comes from us I think. A zoom with a relative left them full of fun, even though they said it was boring. We are too tired and dull, Dh too knackered and stressed to do anything other than slob out in front of tv.I’ve just run out of ideas. Maybe we should eat earlier.

OP posts:
DrMadelineMaxwell · 03/08/2022 00:03

If it's a roast or a takeaway chinese, we sit at the table. Bit weird, but a habit we have got into. Other nights food is more relaxed and people either eat together or suit themselves. Dh potters in garage or loft. I sit in the garden or the summer house, go to an exercise class or to a pub quiz with work friends. And the dds show their faces when they are bored to have a chat with us on and off if they aren't working in their pt jobs.

KarlWrenbury · 03/08/2022 00:05

Why do you have to do stuff? Eat. Tidy. Watch tv /go to the gym. Whatever

KarlWrenbury · 03/08/2022 00:06

always eat together. At a table. This is a given

StClare101 · 03/08/2022 00:53

We always eat together at the table and clean up together. After that it’s free choice…

LoveInNashville · 03/08/2022 01:42

We all eat together a couple of times each week, mostly at home but we go out for dinner once a week usually, watch a film or play on the switch together at least one evening each week, sometimes go to the cinema or all walk the dogs. We have a gym at home so sometimes me and my partner or my son will have a run or do some weights together. We have friends over a couple of evenings and the kids friends are over sometimes.

Other nights everyone does there own thing, out with friends, gaming, reading, sports, tv, internet, FaceTime family/friends. We like being with each other but also really like time to ourselves. I like to just put AirPods in and listen to music, read or meditate and just not think about anything, I definitely need that time just to myself and now the kids are teens, it’s lovely to just be able to do that in the evenings.