Best overheard row?

[chesterelly1]

Organised a rota for the DC to cook tea every night this week so of course I've had to go to Tesco for missing ingredients. While there I overheard a very exasperated mum saying to her DS "it doesn't matter if you would always give it back you must NEVER try and pickpocket someone". V hard to keep a straight face, reminded me of having to take DS out when he was in his James Bond loving stealth phase. Im sure I've given people cause to smile with some of my public rebukes. Anyone else got anything like this to share? I'm bored, on jury duty but not called today.

When my husband was on holiday with some friends (quite a few years ago), he overheard a couple rowing - it got to the point where the woman accused the man’s brother of being responsible for starting the Iraq war.

Heard two pissheads arguing in Devon once. First one eventually stated: 'well, your missus dumped you because you always disagree with anything anyone else says to you'. Second bloke replied: 'No, I don't'.
Still chuckle about that now.

I live in quite a busy area so I hear lots of random convos/arguments when my windows are open.

Last week a couple walked by while arguing. He must have accused her of moaning a lot because she angrily said...

"No I don't! The only time I moaned was that time you got hit by lightening and even then I gave you a tenner the next morning" 😂

I overheard 2 of my dc arguing years ago when they were playing. The game was dd being a dog owner and ds being the dog.

Dd wanted to take her dog (aka ds) to the vet and have him put down. Ds was objecting strenuously. Even some 20 odd years later I laugh when I remember that argument.

Walking home from the pub and walking towards me were two guys having a very heated conversation. As they walked past me, one just lost it and snapped at his mate "I said asteroids, not haemorrhoids".

Oh this reminds me of a page in every issue of this magazine I used to read, called 'Men Overheard' Every issue there was submissions from what women had overheard and it was both hilarious and fascinating in equal measure! I think the magazine was Seventeen? Not completely sure but I bought it just for that page.

Overheard a woman berating her small dc in a clothes shop, when they wanted a character t-shirt with Mr Blobby on it, and the mum didn't want to buy it:

"No!!! I've told you before - Blobby's dead!!".

Sitting on the beach watching a retired couple come in on their small sail boat, you could hear them arguing about which way to go and it got very heated. As they got close to shore the man obviously decided to literally jump ship but forgot he had a self inflating life jacket on which went off as he hit the water. He quickly got back on and they sailed off. We did chuckle!

Was once camping with friends and woke up around 3am because 1 couple in the group were arguing although it was mostly one sided.

It went something like this (names changed).
Woman: Dave wake up! Dave!
Man: hhhnnnhh
Woman: Dave I need a wee!
Man: uh what?
Woman: I need a wee, come with me.
Man: no I'm asleep.
Woman: Dave!! Come with me.
Man: No Tracey I'm comfy. Just go.

Went on in similar terms but escalating volume for another minute or so.

Woman (by now screeching): Dave do you want me to be raped and murdered? Do you Dave? Because it will be your fault if I'm raped and murdered!

At which point he capitulated. I don't want to minimise violence against women but we were on a family campsite in Wales about 200m from the toilet block so the likelihood of anything terrible happening seemed slim.

Not actually heard, but an argument I took part in.
A lot of years ago I was arguing with my boyfriend (now husband) in a large, busy department store.
We were both around 20, an age where it was very important to always look cool.
I can’t remember what the argument was about but boyfriend was losing it so he abruptly turned around and stormed off up the escalator.

Trouble was, it was the down escalator - so he stumbled over the steps & his feet for what seemed like a long time until he managed to recover his balance and get off it.

Loads of people were staring at him, the people coming down the escalator were looking at him worriedly and I was in hysterics.

I still chuckle to myself when I think back to that day.

@Speakingofdinosaurs , I'm crying 🤣🤣

Mine's not quite an argument, but I chuckled when I heard a woman moaning at her ds for not walking quickly enough, ' I cannot believe you were your father's fastest swimmer !'

Nothing funny in the dialogue though the end image was memorable. Saw a young couple on a train, probably early 20s. Don't know the background but she spent 20 minutes verbally abusing him badly while he sat and took it, very restrained. She got angrier and angrier. They got off the train and she got worse. He strode off. She was in a pencil skirt and no matter how fast her legs walked, she couldn't catch up. She screamed and swore at the top of her voice for him to stop and 'take it like a man'. He just strode away faster and she pencil skirted after him becoming further and further behind.

People must have wondered what the hell was going on one day when I was walking down the street with my ex and newborn pfb
’po’s a fucking girl!and your a fucking muppet!’

we where scrapping over the sex of the tellytubbies

best one I overheard was a lady and her husband
lady-I never thought I’d see those toilets again
husband-but I said you would!
cue-massive row over who was right

This is a brilliant thread.

I have a very deep love of 'half-overheard conversations' in general and it's even better when people are arguing.

Overheard in the garden as a couple turned the corner.

Man: Oh my God look at the time, we're gonna be late!
Woman: We wouldn't be if you didn't just spend so long in the fucking toilet!

DH regularly does the 'last minute loo trip' that makes us all rush so I completely understand her frustration!

From many years ago but I still fondly remember it.

A couple were passing by outside my living room window, about closing time for pubs.

He was a bit drunk and kept on about "Dave" in a childish "My bestest friend ever!" way.

Her: "Dave, Dave, Dave. That's all you ever talk about you know."

Him; "But Dave."

Her: "Shut up about him!"

Him: (Sharp Intake of breath and then almost sobbing) "You take that back! Dave..."

Her: (With some venom) "Dave's a fucking prick!"

He started crying at this point and she had to "There, there" him to get him to move on.

I once decided to investigate why ds2 and ds3 were fighting, and who had thrown the first punch. Turns out it was ds3 (aged about 5) who started it, so I asked him why he had hit his brother. His answer - “Because he was looking grumpy!” I don’t know why he thought this would make his brother less grumpy.

They are now both in their 20s, but it’s still a family thing - “He’s looking grumpy - can I thump him?”

Overheard down the alley next to where my ex lived at the time.
Him: You went out and there weren't any crisps. I didn't even have any Rizla!
He seemed very hurt about this