It's one of those days where life seems too much

[Namechangefail123]

It's one of those days...

-- my husband isn't perfect, in fact he's done his fair share of wronging me, but he's pretty fantastic in other ways so it sort of evens out. (Although I'm not sure at times).

--I'm under investigation for cancer

--I have a very rare (one in a million) condition that means I'll always be tired (unless the NHS does something about it but I severely doubt it).

-- I make enough money to not have to worry about money, but paying the debts that are a result of my husband not being a decent person, I still worry about it.

-- My dad is in prison (I think that worries me the least but, still not great)

-- I don't have real life friends to confide in them

-- My mother is OK but she is so distant and toxic at times that she offered for me to be looked after by her (for the cancer surgery) but I'd rather not, even if that means waiting extra time

-- My car is on the edge of breaking down but can't change it yet (see point above).

-- Work is OK but circumstancially I'm not getting any praise

Rant over

Hi OP, I'm sorry things are very difficult for your right now. A few things jumped out at me from your post -

Your husband should be prioritising paying back his debts, is he doing this? It really shouldn't be your responsibility, especially as you are undergoing health problems right now. He needs to step up and take this burden off you.

As for work, could you ask for some time off, or get signed off on health grounds for a few weeks or something, to allow you time and headspace to deal with your cancer surgery, especially since you have a condition which makes you tire easily.

Also, could you investigate whether there are local support groups in your area for people with health issues. Of a local charity where you could get some counselling. You may not think you need it, but it really helps to have a non judgemental person to talk to, or just be listened to.

Take care x

He could try to get extra ££ but that would involve having to go the childcare, so thanks but no thanks.

Oh, OP, what a lot to be dealing with. Any one of us would feel similarly overwhelmed at times, given all those competing factors.

Really hard when dealing with serious physical health complications, too.

Perhaps a charity-provided advocate might be findable. Just someone to fight your corner for once?

You have been heard here, at least.

If you ever need to offload to a friendly, non-judgemental, anonymous support, don't hesitate to ring Mind help/info line: 0300 123 3393

Am sure wise advice will follow from others, but I just wanted to wish you well in the meantime x

There are no charities for my condition, by doing an extrapolation there's only other 60 people in the UK with it (there's not even 10k of us world-wide) so obviously nobody gives a toss. In an ideal world a university/researcher would be interested, the GP said they would but right now I feel like I just need my bed / do nothing most of the day.

I go to therapy and hotlines do help but I've found that they normally help when I've hit rock bottom.