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Original poster

I don't want to dance at my wedding

48 replies

greenar · 25/07/2022 06:39

I don't want to have a first dance at my wedding, neither does DP, we are not in the slightest bit 'mushy' even our vows i can imagine being just normal rather than romantic.

Has anyone ever been to any weddings like this? Not the norm...

OP posts:

homarr · 25/07/2022 10:28

Do what you want to do!

I w

homarr · 25/07/2022 10:28

I wouldn't not

homarr · 25/07/2022 10:28

Try again..I wouldn't notice if someone didn't have the first dance

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Weddings

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 25/07/2022 10:31

You're not alone in your thoughts there's no way I'd be slow dancing and smooching with everyone gawping at me. I'm actually cringing just thinking about it.

GreenManalishi · 25/07/2022 10:32

There is nothing more cringeworthy than watching two people shuffling arround in an awkward circle for three minutes being stared at.

Scrap anything you don't want to do, the only thing you do need is the peice of paper.

RaininginDarling · 25/07/2022 10:33

There are countless threads on here about pressure to comply with various traditions. Instead, how about doing what you want? It's your day, enjoy it!

Riapia · 25/07/2022 10:42

Never been to a wedding where there was a first dance.
nor one where the groom was told “you may kiss the bride”
nor one where the bride threw her bouquet.
Thought that was all just done in films.

KosherDill · 25/07/2022 10:44

Battista · 25/07/2022 06:44

We didn't dance at our wedding. We didn't even have dancing! 11am ceremony, 12pm canapes and drinks with photos, 1.30pm long relaxed lunch with 3 courses and plenty of wine, we left at 6pm and everyone else left whenever they fancied (most stayed on a bit or moved to another venue in smaller groups).It was perfect for us.

So - it's your wedding. If you don't want to dance, definitely no need to. Plan it for whatever suits you best

This sounds perfect.

ThomasinaGallico · 25/07/2022 10:49

We didn’t have a disco or DJ. DH doesn’t dance and I have a hearing impairment (which comes with a fair degree of noise intolerance, paradoxically), so instead of a classic evening do, we had an ‘open house’ evening buffet at the ILs. A few of our friends did disappear to a nightclub late on - we were just too tired!

Just had our 23rd wedding anniversary. 😊

emeraldcity2000 · 25/07/2022 10:51

Same as lots of people here- we didn't have a first dance, any speeches (dad didn't want to speak and we didn't want it to look odd that he didn't), no best man or bridesmaids, no posed photos, no table plan.
We had a wonderful day and our friends and family had a great time. Do it your way.

Tree543 · 25/07/2022 10:57

We didnt have a first dance, really didnt fancy it. We had a disco but it just went straight into everyone dancing

Sparklingbrook · 25/07/2022 11:01

There is nothing more cringeworthy than watching two people shuffling arround in an awkward circle for three minutes being stared at

I totally agree. I don’t know why anyone does it at all.

FatherJacksBrick · 25/07/2022 11:10

Do whatever you want. We didn't have a wedding meal, speeches or anything like that. Just went straight from the ceremony to the party. Huge hog roast and buffet for food, available from the start of the reception right up to the end and cake a bit later in the evening. We did have a first dance, but it was very informal. No-one cared, everyone seemed to enjoy. It's your day, do what you want.

BlueKaftan · 25/07/2022 11:14

We both hate being the centre of attention so no first dance and no top table. Do what you want!

Abra1d1 · 25/07/2022 11:16

The first dance thing is something of a new introduction, probably from America (not saying that in an anyway pejorative way). You don't have to have it!

ihavenocats · 25/07/2022 12:08

Yes I'm like you. I declined a few things in my wedding including being "given away", and my husband met me halfway down the aisle and we walked together. I also did not want to dance with either of my parents so I didn't. I also had my two best friends give a speech instead of a parent.

You can and should do whatever you want on the day as it's a day for you to remember as perfect. Consider your guests but they won't care if you don't do a first dance. Everyone did enjoy my first dance with my husband but they "missed out" on seeing me dance with my dad (cringe) but I'm sure they didn't really miss it you know?

Parpophone · 25/07/2022 12:11

So don't then.

It's not an actual law.

feistyoneyouare · 26/07/2022 15:10

garlictwist · 25/07/2022 10:19

I find first dances incredibly cringe and can't bear watching them so I'd be relieved if you just skipped it! It's your wedding, you should do what you want.

I went to a wedding last week where the bride did a speech and the best man and that was it, as neither her father nor the groom were confident public speakers. I thought it was great that she didn't force them into it in the name of tradition.

I did a speech instead of DH at our wedding. He hates public speaking and I hate the tradition of women being silent at weddings, so it worked out pretty well all round. 😁

feistyoneyouare · 26/07/2022 15:11

Meant to say, we didn't do a first dance either, we both hated the idea.

SallyWD · 26/07/2022 15:21

I hate the fact people think they HAVE to follow the wedding rules and do what everyone else does. Do whatever the hell you want!

Beebumble2 · 26/07/2022 16:12

Battista · 25/07/2022 06:44

So - it's your wedding. If you don't want to dance, definitely no need to. Plan it for whatever suits you best

This was the way many weddings were, back in the day. In fact my own wedding was just like this.
Still married after 4 decades.

Ragwort · 26/07/2022 16:20

Agree Bee - too many weddings go on for far too long, I've been married twice, no dancing at either wedding.

MakingNBaking · 26/07/2022 16:55

I didn't want to either, back in the 80s.
We had D Train 'You're the One for Me' which starts with about four lines of slow mushy stuff and then launches into full-on disco. 32 seconds of mushy and then we were boogieing (sp?) with all our mates who had gathered around to watch the spectacle of the first dance.

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