Do you put things off until the future? Dame Deborah’s philosophy.

[ColinRobinsonsfamiliar]

Just watched Dame Deborah in Convo on her podcast about putting things off.
Really interesting to think about.

Have you heard of the folk who work hard, save hard then a week after retirement get an awful disease or die?

Having had to stand on my own two feet from age 16 financially and in life I have habitually been a very cautious saver and careful person.

I had absolutely no one to fall back on or to bail me out , I got a job, any job because I had to feed myself and had to pay rent.

This continued into my 20’s, & 30’s.

I got myself a job in my 20’s that demonstrated daily how quickly life ends.
This changed my outlook.
COVID again brought this fact screaming into focus for me.

So to me, money is there for spending, life for living, once a year I do something wild!!
This year I’ve booked an extremely expensive holiday for us.
I’ve taken a new fabulous job because it came along and I thought why not? It’s a gamble and could go terribly wrong, but why not?
I have grand plans for next year too!

Do you live or are you cautious and what motivates you to be so?

I work with the terminally ill so the latter. Enjoy the here and now without being reckless obviously.

Heartbreaking seeing the elderly scrimping around in horrible flats with literally hundreds of thousands sitting in bank - some without children so going to random nephews and charity. I think extreme tightness and fear of spending can be as bad as profligacy.

Sorry meant I love and am not cautious! Enjoy life. Cliche but you can’t take it with you.

Live not love autocorrect

I get what you mean OP, DF was a hard worker who kept going until well past retirement age and never got to enjoy a retirement of any kind as he died suddenly. DF was one of these stereotypical baby boomers with a 'gold plated' pension so he didnt even need to work, think he was just afraid of change. He never took risks in life etc, just complained about situations which were within his power to change if he had actually taken some initiative.

The inheritance he left me has enabled me to make big changes in my life and I decided after he passed away that I didn't want to live my life like he did. I took chances instead and glad I did.

A combination of both . I have always had to rely on myself and over the years have enjoyed life whilst making sure I had a good retirement.

Two things shaped me , firstly years ago I followed a little old lady in the supermarket with a tiny yellow sticker chicken and half a dozen eggs and she said to the cashier they had to last her a week . I didn't want that for myself .

Secondly I was talking to a lady at work whose husband was due to retire and they had a world cruise booked . He was always a tomorrow tomorrow person and she sacrificed a lot for his career . 6mths before his retirement date his firm begged him to stay for another year and finish a large project . So the cruise was postponed . At his eventual retirement party they had a great time , got home and she said you go through and I'll make coffee . Yes you've guessed it she came in with the coffee and found him dead in his chair . He didn't have one day of retirement.

Both of those things shaped my views on striking a balance

Not anymore not since my lovely sister died six years ago totally out of the blue from aggressive cancer. She was planning her retirement she was only 59. Now I just think fuck it and live for the day !!

My DM used to save things "for best" until she divorced her 2nd husband (my stepdad) aged 56 when she started her life over again in her own home by herself.
She was then diagnosed with bowel cancer, stage 4 around her 58th birthday and was dead 6 months later (3 months before my wedding)

I was 30 when she died and it made me stop saving things "for best" and get enjoyment from things I buy or have.
I was able to use my inheritance from her to buy the most gorgeous bag to match my wedding shoes and that is the only thing I've been unable to use again because I don't want it to be ruined.

I have always been incredibly cautious and put things off. Felt I had to have a purpose and work my ass off to be worth something.

My friend died in April. They were 26. When I heard the news, it was like all my previous feelings about life just disappeared. I don’t care anymore what people think or if I have a respectable career or whatthefuckever. I just want to enjoy myself and be happy.

My first DH died of leukaemia aged 29.
We were still saving wedding presents for "best"

Everyday is best...

I try and remember that-I sometimes forget-but I try and live my life for everyday.

All of those cliches and painted signs are true-don't postpone joy!

I think I am happier knowing I have money saved for a decent retirement.
So if I died tomorrow and didn't get to spend it, I'd have overall felt it was worth it.

(Note I am not living currently on minimal spends but I do save a healthy amount into my pension)

I was always very cautious about family finances, we only bought things when they were urgent and put off buying things even then. However, just before lockdown my Godmother died, I was clearing her house and found a brand new canteen of cutlery, presented to her father in 1930s. Each piece was still wrapped in tissue, never touched. It made me feel so sad that not only my Godmother but also her parents kept this cutlery for best and that day never came. I wondered what I was waiting for, when did I think would be the best time to buy the bigger family car if not now- my children will leave for uni in the next few years, then we won't need it. We are still careful with money but I procrastinate less when buying the big purchases and I don't leave anything for best, each day is worthy of being best.