5 yo DD Just made me cry laughing

[PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog]

Just in the kitchen carrying things from the pantry and trying to do something else, anyway I dropped everything... and this little voice says 'For pity's sake! That's why we do things one at a time, who's going to have to clean that up? Me, that's who!'

She obviously pays more attention to what I say than I thought...

Took my nephews to the railway museum at York. Sitting in the cafe having a cuppa. Littlest nephew, who was three at the time, sipped his tea (which I'd checked and was a fine temp), splutters a bit and then exclaims in a very loud voice. "Watch out, auntie. This tea is fucking hot!"

I wanted the ground to swallow me. I swear, every head turned towards us 😬

My just turned 3 year old DS whenever he nearly falls or trips says 'I should be careful!' 🤣.

The best one last week was he watched me clean and pick his toys up in his room. Toys all picked up then he pulled his car basket out again. Walked off, stood in the doorway and proceeded to tell me 'I have a messy room Mummy, can you tidy it up please?' I made him pick the toys up that time 🤣.

When my daughter was 4 we were trying to send a load of parcels at the post office, she was helping by carrying several little ones.
She stumbled in the doorway, and they scattered across the floor and just as two women bent down to help her pick them up, she said very loudly "Oh Bollocks Mum! They gone everywhere!"

I was not aware I had ever said that when she was around, but at least she used it properly.

These are hilarious! My then 3 year old DD was playing a shop game at preschool with her friends where they all took turns in saying what groceries they wanted to buy from the supermarket... when it was DD's turn her teacher told me she said vodka and beer! 🤣

These have made me chuckle especially the vodka and beer. I remember being in Tesco and my son (aged 5) announcing "I guess we've come to buy more champagne for you mummy". I've got countless 'swear in the car' ones too but nothing that beats the ones above. 😂

I was telling DS (3) off for trying to poke me in the face while in the car and he looks at me totally seriously and says 'do you need a cup of tea, mummy?'. At least he seems to have picked up 'oh my gorgeous' instead of any other exclamations from me.

Driving through London in the traffic and a little voice from the back pipes up "What's a wanker Mummy?" 😩

Too funny 🤣

Mine was about 5 when he said ‘ I’ve just trod in dog sh poo mummy’ He came to me to get it cleaned, grinned and said’ I was good for not saying shit wasn’t I?

Out of the mouths of babes...

My 4 year old in the back of the car at traffic lights waiting to go and to the driver of the car alongside, he says “get back you bast..d”

In church with my 5yo and the vicar was showing a picture of one of the congregation, who is 96 as part of the sermon.

"Is that a ghost, Mum?" Came a voice, loudly.

To be fair, she didn't look well 😬

My 3yo said a couple of days ago - "come play with me! I've told you a million times!" She also tried to shoo pigeons away and they didn't react (she was indoors) so she turned to me and said "mummy, the pigeons have cloth ears!"

😂😂😂😂

It was just after my DS's 4th birthday and he'd had a party. I decided to take him to Mass one Sunday. When it was time for the collection basket to be passed around, he waited for a totally quiet moment to say, very loudly. 'Are we playing Pass the Parcel?'

For those with filth repeaters, even the elegant Keira Knightley's daughter has done this: << 3 mins. in 😁