Every waking moment of my life is a constant battle against my fraught mind, my mind that is fucking broken. Shattered into pieces with what it’s endured. My heart is also broken, shattered into pieces from what that has endured too, but i would NEVER EVER BAIL on anyone who is going through tough times. I am constantly on the phone helping friends who are having problems, I would do ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD to help other people not feel what I feel. I want to help others. That’s all I want to do. But what saddens me is that no fucker puts themselves out for me... I NEVER talk about my feelings, that I’m on the brink of suicide, that i’m morbidly depressed, that death would be a fucking huge release from this pain and suffering I endure 24 hours a day (yes I've had lots of therapy, yes I've tried alternative therapies, yes I'm on medication)........... but still, if I can listen to others, it gives me a glimmer of happiness. Not even my ex (who was meant to love me, clearly didn't) could put himself out to support me, and that FUCKING KILLS ME! He’d would rather go off and do shit that means NOTHING! I guess it shows that I mean very little to anyone ..... I’m just glad I am not one of those people, but on the flip side, why the fuck am I still here living a life that is worthless!?