To be secretly envious of parents who love the school holidays.

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All I've seen is posts all day, with excited parents that schools out and they can have lots of fun with their kids.

I am jealous. I wish I could feel the same but I don't. I'm dreading it, I love the idea of a long summer but it just doesn't happen like that.

I am currently not working, Dp works long hours but a great hands on Dad, but a lot of it comes down to me in the holidays. Both my children have additional needs, DS is autistic, has severe anxiety, ocd and learning disabilities. Dd has undiagnosed asd. Both can be quite challenging, particularly as they don't get on or like the same things.

my mental health is at all time low too.

they don't do well with staying in. They climb the walls. Taking them out can be challenging as my oldest is prone to bolting off, my youngest has a mild physical disability and can't catch up.

we live in a sleepy little village with not a lot here, have to drive everywhere really. The fuel costs will add up . The cost of everything will add up.

they eat everything and the food costs too!!

plus, we live in the southwest in a very touristy area and it's so damn busy everywhere.

I find it hard to meet and keep friends because DS's behaviour is challenging. He wouldn't hurt a fly but he is full on.

my mum lives 10 miles away but she's not the type of mum you can spend a long time with, she just starts moaning she's busy so we don't see her more than once every couple months. She looks forward to the holidays because she has two secondary age teens, they stay in bed til midday and she gets to lie in too!

for me, the days start early and so bloody long!

dp's mum lives close by and she is more welcoming but she works all the time and I don't want to take up her free time!

I don't get a break at all. Dp will come home from a 12 hour shift and do baths and we put them to bed between us - which takes hours. I am exhausted

I am feeling very stressed and alone at the thought of the holidays!!

Aww, I had one year when I wasn't working over the summer holidays. DC were 4 & 9 and money was tight then.

It was the year Pokemon go came out, so we spent a lot of time catching the beasts in different local locations. We went every evening to the same battle stations (?). On top of that we had camping in the garden with & without friends. I did a lot of cooking with the DC. We went for bike rides and picnics - basically just doing the usual stuff!
An other great way of entertainment is, just involve the DC in everything you need to do from cleaning to meal planning. Yep, it takes a lot of time, but don't forget, you have all day plus the one after that!
I would really just live from day to day and not worry about anything.

That sounds so tough. Are there any of the free holiday clubs/activities on in your area from the catch up fund? Might give you a bit of a break, even if one could go, just to take the pressure off a little.

Thanks both. It's my oldest that is the struggle. He's not easily entertained and doesn't really have any interests.

I have looked into clubs and activity days. I've managed to book one for children with sen, but there doesn't seem to be much else around. There is a holiday sports club that would be perfect For Ds, but it's only for children that get free school dinners (which I totally understand, but it would have been perfect for DS who struggled with over eating and being motivated to exercise).

You've got teenager brothers, could they help out to entertain your DS? Or a teen in your village? Even a few hours twice a week might make a difference.
Have you been in touch with the local Council to check what they are offering? Ours sent leaflets home from school giving info about various events, some free, some paid for. There are also online coding and animation-type courses that might be worth checking out.
You mentioned a holiday sports club, maybe it's worth approaching them to see if they will take DS , given his vulnerabilities. They may have some discretion.
It sounds tough. Could DH take some leave, a day or 2 a week to make it easier for you during the holidays?

They’re probably lying.

School holidays are great for holidays and days out (if can withstand your family for that long!) but the long days at home where routine is shot to bits and everyone is bored - no one loves that

two sisters but neither would be interested. They on a different schedule. Up all night and sleep til the afternoon!

I have been looking tonight. There doesn't seem to be much around. Seems that there is naff all in my area!!

he will have some time off already planned and booked but it's just the long days he is working.

some days I feel like I'm losing my mind and feel guilty they j haven't done enough!

thank you!

Any older children in the village who would like to earn a bit of pocket money by coming into help for a couple of hours a day?

Would they be interested in Geocahing? It's like a treasure hunt and all you need is the app.

It'a quite fun and can look for the treasure all over the world so when we have found the two in our village but when we go out we look for another. Download the app and have a look to see some in your area.

My mood has plummeted this last week. Partly due to no sleep due to vomiting children because my last 3 days of quite disappeared with one or both children off school but mainly the dread of the summer holidays with ds who has suspected asd as the holidays are dreadful.

I can't even throw money at it as the cost of living has taken any spare away.

I get it.

We put in a lot of structure. Write a wish list for the summer together, strike off anything unaffordable and try to get most of the rest in. We have a rule of no TV before lunch, and after lunch we will go out if we haven't already done so, and I can then let them gorge on screens to their heart's content without too much guilt. Having the blanket rule is v helpful for autistic DS who will literally not do anything until he KNOWS there is zero chance of getting a screen. Once he is convinced, he will go and find a book or something.

Get them involved in jobs like making dinner, because it's easier to tell them you need their help than to convince them they want to do something for fun sometimes.

I have seen on here the idea of alternating busy days and quiet ones. I like that - not that the quiet ones are necessarily easy either.

There's no harm in asking about the holiday club, if you haven't specifically mentioned DS's needs. They are probably nice people who will help if they can, and they may have eg spaces on Fridays or something.

I’ve always loved them. Never any money to go anywhere but we’d play in the garden or at Xmas do things inside.
DC2 year 11 in sept and DC1 just left school. 3 years and they’ll both be at uni. I’m dreading it

It's hard. I have one teenager with additional needs and the school holidays are always hard work. He needs constant close supervision ( from 2 people if out of the house), can't entertain himself and there are no suitable activities, even those aimed at children with special needs and with me with him, that he can attend. He gets lonely and bored and negative behaviours appear.

Your story is simillar to my friends. She's a single mum. In the end she bought xbox for the boys. They play all day and she has her life back.l and her smile too. they are 11 and 13

Where in the South West are you? Can you go on a cheap camping holiday locally? I have a 'wild' child too and the best thing is a field with trees to climb. I just let them go off and enjoy the silence and listening to the birds.

I hate summer holidays too. The only time both dds aren't arguing eachother is when they gang up and try and argue with me. They will claim they are bored but will not want to do any of the suggestions.

Should I be lucky enough they are dressed before 4pm any day out will be rendered pointless as i will spend it in.canteen queues buying lunch because that will be all they are interested in doing. Eating lunch. To be fair I.wasng gonna.lug a picnic around London zoo but at over 75 quid to get us all.in ot would have been nice if they didn't just spend the time.moaninh they were hungry 🙄

I cant offer any practical advice i clearly suck myself.

I will however offer you 🍪🍪🍰🍻🍫🍷🍬

I hear you OP and I sympathise, I really do. And I had it much easier than you. Some of us are just not cut out for being in "on" mode all the time. I like a lot of time on my own doing more or less nothing. The long summer holidays never suited me and DH would often be working abroad for a chunk of them.

OP I hear you. We're over half way through our holidays in Scotland. Just bought new uniforms for them and booking the haircuts etc. Looking forward to getting some time to myself when school is back.

Just take one day at a time, is my advice. I have one child currently being assessed for ADHD. It has not been easy.

I love being with my DDs. But the 6 week summer break is long IMO. Sorting out how to entertain kids for weeks on end isn't the most enjoyable time for anyone really.

I made a pact that as of this next academic year (DD aged4) will be at school, I am doing a career change and will be putting the girls into camps next year for 1 or 2 weeks out of the 6.

Muddle through this summer. Research potential options for next year to suit your children's needs and don't allow yourself to forget or not plan ahead. Budget accordingly as well.

Good luck, OP. It's not just you who feels this way, regardless of what other parents say.

Sounds like your biggest problem is social media. The posts you see are not always real, they are there to show off and you will probably find the reality for a lot of people is different.

Don't compare your self with others based on social media

İ have two with ADHD and one with ASD. Not had major problems with school holidays apart from before I learned to drive! One summer when DS3 was a newborn I did hire a local teenage girl, who was very sporty and going to uni to do physiotherapy, to take them to the park to do fun exercise. It worked quite well but DS1 is an active person.
I'm at the other end now, they are all grown up and just stay in their rooms gaming.

There should be a "local offer" on your local authorities website with activity days for those with special needs.

You're absolutely not alone OP.
I think most act like they're excited because everyone else is doing so on social media and they want to look like the fun parent!
I've been doing that to a certain extent 😂
I love the thought of my child being home etc and I'm absolutely thrilled about no school run but I'm really feeling the pressure of a new routine and keeping him happy 😳😳😳

It's been holidays for 3 weeks where I live and I actually am starting to feel really depressed. Weeks and weeks ahead of trying to entertain young children, I feel like I'm not doing enough and I'm not good enough and they're spending whole days watching tv and I just want to go and sit and cry but I can't because they're always always here.

Your council should have a discretionary fund to offer the vouchers for the HAF (the programme for children who receive free school meals)programme to other children, most of these go to children with additional needs. I would try and contact your local council or any professionals you are in contact with to ask about this.