What is a "single dad"? and a "single mum"?

[ChinBristles]

Following on from the thread about if a mother were to leave/die, would the father cope on his own...

I see a lot of guys online dating who refer to themselves as a "single dad". I had initially assumed this meant the mother was dead/otherwise not in the picture and he was therefore the main carer but that appears not to be so. It appears this is just shorthand for "I'm a dad btw" and he may only have EOW or whatever.

Of course there are also dads on there who are NOT single and are cheating but that's a different thread.

What would you take "single dad" to mean?

But then if someone says they are a "single mother", to me the man may or may not still be around somewhere.

I guess this all comes back to the general assumption that a mother, whether with the father or not, does most of the childcare.

Interested in any musings.

Single mum/dad to me is shared care in some way or another, lone parent I would assume one parent died etc

Single mum to me has the kids but is not with the dad
single dad, has kids but they don't live with him

I know there's exceptions but most of the time this is the way it is...

Lone parents have the kids and the other parent isn't in the picture at all.

Single parent – shared care. Solo parent/lone parent – full time care.

Words mean whatever you want them to mean.

Single mum/dad could be a woman or man who has children and is either the resident parent or the secondary parent. It could also be someone with children and no partner. We had a lady at work who described herself as a widowed mum and a colleague we dealt with who was a single dad ( wife dead) they could have been lone parents if that's how you want to describe them.

It's not easy to know unless they make it clear.

Single means not in a relationship. Dad/Mum means they are a parent.

Single parent = person with child/ren who is not in a relationship.

I referred to myself as a single mother this week - meaning, not in a relationship with the child’s father. Can’t even remember the context, it was pretty banal though - wasn’t a complaint at all. My second husband got quite huffy at me saying I was a single mother 🤣

He doesn’t have a parenting role at all - though he was a fab single / lone parent to his own boys, sadly widowed.

So he wasn’t objecting saying he was doing parenting too - but huffy (mildly!) cos I said single 🤣

Single mum = not in a relationship and is the principle carer for the children
Single dad = not in a relationship and is the principle carer for the children

Single mum/dad means to me that they are the main carer

A single parent is a resident parent who lives alone with their children so even if they have a partner, they don’t live with them and are in turn their child’s primary carer. A parent who doesn’t live with their child and has less than 50% access is not a single parent, they’re a parent who just so happens to also be single.

To me it implies they’re the main carer.

And single parent = other parent not in the child’s life.

To me it means that they are single and a parent.

I agree with Sartre.

I would be very pissed off if my ex referred to himself as a single dad.

I prefer one parent family.

Any man on a dating website who said ‘single dad’ instead of dad to 2 boys etc wants extra praise for looking after his children on his own some of the time and probably called it babysitting when he was with their mum. Red flag IMO.

I think they are still a single dad, however I would laugh if my ex referred to himself as a single dad as he hasn’t seen our kids in 2 years, but mind you he doesn’t tell anyone he is a father as he would rather pretend he didn’t have kids but a dad that sees his kids eow is still a single dad imo.

I just always considered a single parent being either parent who is single.

Although the more I think about the term... why should my title tell everyone my relationship status 😅

I'm proud of being a single parent as I work really hard!

I remember a contestant on X Factor going heavy on the ‘I’m a single dad who’s chasing his dream’ thing. When it turned out the child lived mainly with his mum people were a bit eye rolly.

The meaning of single has changed over the years. When I was young, being single meant you weren't married. You could have a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner and still be single. Now it means without a partner. So a 'single dad' to me means a father who is not with the mum through separation or bereavement but i can see it is nuanced and may mean different things to others.

Single means you are doing the parenting mainly or completely solo, it’s not a relationship status thing

i remember deadbeats on OLD telling me they were a ‘single dad’ when they only saw their kids on Sundays. LOL

The single mum/dad title should go to parents who have the kids the majority of the time. 50/50 and you are a ‘co-parent’

unfortunately men use the title single dad to gain sympathy and advertise that mum isn’t in the picture when the only time they have their kids solo is to take them to the cinema on Saturday mornings

Single mum/dad if the children live with them most of the time.

If someone described themselves as a single dad/mum, I would assume they were the primary carer.

Yeah, see what's the point in saying you are a "single" dad if you are on online dating? ! I mean, I'd bloody hope you're single or why else are you on here! Just say that you are a "dad".

Agree with pp who says they are wanting extra brownie points for looking after their kids when chances are they just dump them on their own mother anyway.

<bitter> <cynical>

Oh but I see what @Suprima says - that the "single" bit is NOT about rship status.

All very confusing!

The single bit is because they’re not with the other parent of the child.
You could have a boyfriend and still be a single mum.

To me it does imply that they’re the main cater.
My ex told his uni class (he’s an adult student) that he’s a single dad and got a lot of praise and people asking “how does he do it”. He doesn’t.
He was single and a dad. Not a single dad.

For me, I say “single mum” to let people know I’m doing it on my own so things are a bit different for me. I definitely don’t mean single as in “available” because I have zero interest in dating again.