Husband cheated

[2020apple]

Hi guys,

So me and my husband have been together for 8 years and been married 5 years. I just found out this weekend that he cheated on me at the beginning of our relationship;
He slept with someone 3 months in and apparently just kissed a girl a year into our relationship.

He says that he did this out of retaliation of my actions because he felt that I was never into him and I didn't love him.

I'm finding it so hard to get past these points and feel like I've been living a lie. I don't know where to go from here? Would you forgive him? He keeps saying it was early on and didn't mean anything?

Please help

Um what? He shagged someone else three months in as he felt you’d never loved him? Well clearly you would not have ever loved him at this stage, it had been weeks.

how very odd.is he a bit thick?

It sounds like excuses to cheat to me.
You can either say it was a long time ago, and he’s not done it since - or has he ?
Or you can say that he’s a cheat and you’ll never get over it, so you need to end it.
I know which I’d go for.

Retaliation is a pathetic excuse for poor behaviour. He chose his actions and they are in no way attributable to you.

Only you know if you can move on from this. He sounds incredibly immature

The cheating is one thing. If he wasn’t committed at the time and strayed- that’s no good, and is one issue.
If he was fully committed AND HONEST about it since, I think I could possibly forgive. However.

Your husband has NOT been honest, and has tried to shift blame. That is a bigger worry; it suggests he feels there are loopholes to faithfulness in relationships. That’s a much deeper issue, and in your shoes I’d be wondering if there were other times he felt he deserved a shag off someone else

Hello,

I read your post.

Once the trust is broken it's simply very difficult to replace. Now I know this isn't helpful as you already know this. If he told you about what he did then fairness to him for being man enough to be honest. Quite often men won't own up in fear of losing their partners. Now that you actually found out about it, it's not a good sign. So you have two choices, either go to couples counselling & talk it out so that he understands that cheating isn't the answer & it's unacceptable. If he's all for it then great & I wish you luck. He's not wanting to go then you have to consider what you really want . I have been cheated on & it wasn't fully resolved due to blame shifting & refusal to attend marriage counselling. We've never been right since 7 yrs on. Don't make the same mistake as me hun.

He doesn't seem remotely sorry. How did this all come about?