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Original poster

Birthday Party Etiquette

16 replies

PokemonPasta · 21/07/2022 14:20

My DD has just been invited to a birthday party on her 4th birthday. What's the etiquette here? Ideally I'd approach the mum and ask if she'd like to do a joint party, but it's a whole class party at an expensive venue and there's no way I could afford that. Should I say anything to the mum? I'd hate her to think I'm trying to muscle my way into the party but at the same time I'm not sure I could trust a 4 year Old not to mention IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY!! If I don't say anything. Is there a graceful solution to this?

OP posts:
Mum4kids1dog · 21/07/2022 14:25

It's a bit awkward isn't it. I wouldn't suggest a joint party. Truthfully I'd probably just avoid the party and do your own thing with your child.

Kinsters · 21/07/2022 14:26

Are you doing anything for her birthday? If it were me I would probably do something with her/family on her actual birthday so I'd decline the invite and say it was her birthday and we already had plans. If the other parent then suggested making it a joint thing I'd consider it.

MozzarellaMonster · 21/07/2022 14:26

Depending on what your child prefers id either decline the party or if she still wants to go when it's on her birthday then go along if that's what she'd like to do Smile but she's 4 so no one will care if she mentions it's her birthday also which of course she will do at that age and then organise something for your daughter on the Sunday etc just for her , I wouldn't suggest making it a joint party though personally, hope your daughter has a lovely birthday!

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redskyatnight · 21/07/2022 14:28

Organise your own party at time and venue that allows the guests invited to both parties to travel between the 2. Up to you whether your DC attends the other party (I suspect DC might be keen to have two parties :) ). At this age it's not uncommon to have 2 or even 3 parties on the same day.

Triffid1 · 21/07/2022 14:32

Either decline party on basis that you will be doing something with the family if you thunk your dd will be upset to be at a party that's not for her on her birthday. Do a party at another time.

user143677433 · 21/07/2022 14:34

redskyatnight · 21/07/2022 14:28

Organise your own party at time and venue that allows the guests invited to both parties to travel between the 2. Up to you whether your DC attends the other party (I suspect DC might be keen to have two parties :) ). At this age it's not uncommon to have 2 or even 3 parties on the same day.

Yes, we saw a lot of this. We had most of the class with birthdays in the same month.

UWhatNow · 21/07/2022 14:34

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Carrieonmywaywardsun · 21/07/2022 15:00

Do your DDs birthday another day,let her go to that one too. Don't do 2 parties on one day, guarantee you no one will show up

ForeverandAlways4 · 21/07/2022 15:01

Mum4kids1dog · 21/07/2022 14:25

It's a bit awkward isn't it. I wouldn't suggest a joint party. Truthfully I'd probably just avoid the party and do your own thing with your child.

me to

ForeverandAlways4 · 21/07/2022 15:02

too*

Beamur · 21/07/2022 15:07

Go to the party. Tell party Mum it's your DD's birthday too and you'll return the favour (rather than share this one).
Make sure DD remembers this is her friends party and not to try and blow out the candles!
Have your own party and invite the other birthday child! Bonus party for your DD 😁

Lily7050 · 28/07/2022 12:09

Many parties we have attended this year were either before or after the actual birthday date.
Why would a child be upset if she/he knows that her/his party will be on another day even if her/his actual birthday is today?
My 3yo understood it. Cannot se why 4yo cannot understand it?

Soggycrisps · 28/07/2022 12:12

Can you do your daughter's birthday party a day or few days before her actual birthday so she's already celebrated it at her friends party. I really don't think it would matter of you're daughter shouted it's my birthday.

TeenDivided · 28/07/2022 12:20

I'd decline the party. Do your own thing with family on her actual birthday, and if you want a party with friends do that on a different day.

NerrSnerr · 28/07/2022 12:36

You can't offer for it to be a joint party now as she has already organised it! It's not an issue. If she wants to go to the party than accept. If you want to organise your own party then do it at another time or on the day before or after. It's absolutely no big deal.

Both my children have birthdays very close to their best friends and their siblings and we just work around each other, usually if they book the Saturday first we do the Sunday or the week after.

Northe · 28/07/2022 12:51

We has this with my six year old this year. We went to a library workshop with his brother and a couple of his friends first, had lunch at home with grandparents, enjoyed the other child's birthday party and held a small party for him the following week. Both he and the other child were thrilled they got to go to two celebrations and it took some of the heat off us. Lots of kids will have school or other non-birthday activities on their birthday so a party sounds even better. I would casually mention that it was her birthday too when I RSVP'd incase sharing would work. If I was the birthday mum, in this scenario I wouldn't necessarily want half the money since i chose the activity but hate making party bags so would probably give you a job like that and ask you to bring an extra cake if you wanted to celebrate together.

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