Would it be wrong to end a marriage partly because of just wanting to live alone?

[Askingforafriend21]

I never have and I'm absolutely craving it. To do what I want, have things how I want, only cook for me and kids but they are older. There are other issues but alli can't think about at the moment is having my own little place with no one moaning or dictating!

I want this too but I can't afford it. I don't cook for DP or do any extra domestic work, it's just a need to be boss of my own space. I'll have it one day.

Sounds lovely. Might get boring eventually?

YWOULDbu to end it just because you fancy living alone (fantasies often fall short in reality).

but…

You have a partner “moaning & dictating”? That’s not ending your marriage for a fantasy, that’s ending it because you are unhappy, incompatible, and harassed. Those are perfectly cromulent reasons to end a relationship.

Then OP can look into starting a relationship with someone else, one who cooks and doesn't moan and dictate for a start? Or get a dog or weird and wonderful hobbies. There is no nothing more lonely than living in a house tip toeing around on eggshells and acting like a skivvy for a miserable man.

Life is too short and sounds like there are issues in your relationship and you don't get to be yourself. Did you get together when you were very young?

We did get together when young, he does do loads.
I think us both working at home is making me crave alone time.

Anyone is free to end their marriage for any reason. Since the no fault rule came in this year, it's a straightforward process.

So this isn't really about living alone it's about divorcing If you arnt happy then do it. You only get one life

Surely a significant proportion of married couples choose to live separately?

I would. Even in a very happy relationship.

Are you actually unhappy in your marriage? My partner and I often sleep in different rooms and we are lucky to have more than one decent reception room to get some space to do different hobbies etc We are happily married but both like our alone time.

Did you make any promises when you married? Have you considered having counselling, by yourself, not as a couple, just to have look at the marriage? I really did know of someone who did that and she found it very helpful.

(This sentence is no help at all really, but I once had a boss who said the ideal situation is to be married but live in two separate houses.)

I live alone because I can't stick living with a man.
However, you do need to make sure you like it first, it could be a terrible mistake. My aunt went through this at the menopause and went off for a trial separation on her own, rented a small flat by the sea for 6 months.
Didn't like it and came home.
It might be an idea not to burn your bridges before you have tried it.

Well who would want to live with someone who dictates? Why can't you do what you want? What does he mean about? Is he aware that you are affected by his behaviour?

I like being alone but also like having someone there when I come in eg in case I want to let off steam about something. Also if there's a noise at night mid winter I'm glad it's not just me.

When I say dictates it maybe sounds worse thsn it is. He is a good person, just thinks his way of doing things is always the best way!
I like the idea of adjoining houses.
I've always liked my own company.

I adore my DH but sometimes like the idea of living next door to him rather than in the same house. Wouldn’t want to divorce him though. Do you actually just want a divorce?

cromulent

Thank you for introducing me to this word!